The Night My Best Friend Turned Into My Worst Nightmare!
My Story Part One
In my early twenties I was in Luurrvvv 💗
I was having a long distance relationship (you know the ones we label 'complicated') with someone I had known for quite a few years by then... We had met when I was about 15 through my best friend and at first we really DID NOT see eye to eye.
Over the years we first learned to live with each other and then through adversity we became good friends. Like all good things the relationship took time but boy did I fall for him.
We didn't get to see each other very often as we lived a fair distance apart but when we did it was great and I looked forward to his visits with butterflies and excitement.
Often he would turn up out of the blue, stay a few days, rock my world, then disappear again for a few weeks.
I don't remember when he started to change. I don't know whether it was drugs or an event that triggered it.
It was subtle at first and never aimed at me, in fact, I seemed to have a calming effect on him, but his demeanor was different. He wasn't his happy self. He would come, sit and chat a little but was quite withdrawn and often in a world of his own.
Over time it got worse.
Maybe I should have seen a problem. Maybe I could have prevented what happened. Maybe I could have gotten him some help....
Maybe Maybe MAYBE
But I didn't
Hindsight is a great thing and when I look back now I can see that he was struggling mentally. He had a problem and he needed help!
Anyway back to the story ....
How it happened I'm not sure because I was always pretty careful...
I got pregnant.
I wasn't sure I felt about it, it was a mixture of excitement and fear of the unknown.
I knew I had to tell him so I pondered on it for a few days then got in my car a drove several hours to meet with him.
It was really late and by the time I found him he was pretty high and happy.
We went to one of his friends house and he had a few drinks and a smoke. We socialized with them for a while then left to go to where he was staying.
He made up some story about looking after a warehouse for a mate so I drove there, following his directions.
All the time we chatted normally, I was waiting for my opportunity to tell him about the baby.
We approached a large warehouse which of course was in darkness.
The roller door went up and I drove my car inside....
The roller door came down behind me.
It was pitch black inside.
I couldn't see a thing.
I stood still waiting for him to turn a light on....
I could feel him coming closer....
Bam
He punched me square in the face.
End of Part One...
Fear...
It changes you... It changes the way you live your life.... It changes how you feel about yourself.... It changes everything.
Until you have stared death in the face and believed you are going to die, I don't think you know what real fear is.
The night this happened to me, I spent many hours with my heart rate at some unbelievable level, how it didn't explode in my chest is unfathomable.
FEAR doesn't really cover it - I was absolutely terrified!!!
Nothing has ever come close to this extreme feeling since.
"The key to change ..... is to let go of fear" Roseanne Cash
At some point after an experience like this one, you have to let go of the fear.
It took me years to overcome it.
For the nightmares to stop.
To have some confidence in myself.
To stop thinking I did something to deserve what I got!
Eventually I let it go - I took control of my life again... sort of!!
I will always wonder what more I could have achieved in life if this hadn't happened to me.
Thanks for stopping by...
I'm sorry you went through this Andy. But I am so proud of you and the person you are today and proud that you decided to share this part of yourself with us. Fear does change you... but it, in part, makes us who we are. I know how reluctant you were. I have found sharing my story and getting it out to be very theraputic and maybe you'll find the same thing.
You're an awesome human being Andy and I feel very lucky to be able to call you my friend.
I love you!! 🖤🖤🖤
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what a wanker (sorry)...sounds like he needs a punch in the face!!
Oh he sure did - believe me that night got a lot worse....
I never knew that's why you went to see him that night. Or did I know and just somehow blanked it out?
I'm sure you did at the time but it was a long time ago now so stuff gets blurred :)
There are some things I remember so clearly about that time though, so it seems strange that I could have forgotten that.
Strange but true I guess. There are parts that I have completely blocked out. The mind does it to lessen the trauma.
Evil prick...
Yes indeed he was and maybe still is an evil prick!
Jeez, what a prick! I can't wrap my head around it, why would somebody put someone through this kind of trauma?
I'm glad you can take some light from it and see that without this event you may not of done other things. Still though... what an absolute prick!
Oh, Andy, I cannot tell you how I feel.
You should never, ever have had this.
No one deserves this!
Ever.
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TrufflePigI am so sorry that you had to experience this! I have a feeling that the next part won't be very pretty either...
wow @andysantics48 ... sometimes when you think you know someone... you really don't.
My heart.
Thought about you all night last night. Even dreamed about you. My heart was so broken for you.
But.... the light.
who you are
your children
the way you can still laugh and love and spread joy
you would never know that this was in your past - because your heart shines and just draws me in to you.
I love you so much :)
I am curious for a part two as to the pregnancy situation. Shitty you had to experience that though.
Wow! This brought tears to my eyes and heart. So sorry you had to experience this my friend. Noone deserves that. I'm waiting to read the next part and how the baby part goes.
Again Noone deserves that and it's really brave to share such hard story from your life.
Much Love to you 💞🌹💞
MY GOD! I'm so glad you are here today to write about this and that you don't own any of the blame. You're one hell of a Lady!