How perfect that today's prompt is "Discord" because wow, there was a lot of 'discord' on the topic of marriage (and several other topics between the 'engagement' and the actual wedding.
I'm using this week to tell the story of our early relationship/engagement/marriage to celebrate our 24th Wedding Anniversary. We have NO photos of us together during our dating months or the first couple of years of marriage. These are the closest photos I can find that are from just before we ended up together:
There was, of course plenty of lovey dovey stuff, too... but let me back up. I suppose I should start with the actual engagement, which kind of set the tone for our "fights" going forward.
We had just been to see a late showing of the movie with Jack Nicholson and I think he's a werewolf. Hell, maybe the movie was titled, "Werewolf" I can't even remember. The point is that the movie was awful. Just a complete and utter waste of energy, time and attention.
As we walked back to our car in the parking lot, I said something flippant like, "Well that was a total waste of time. If we're going to spend time and money doing something, we should do something cool... like elope!"
I was only half joking, but then Patrick said, "No, I'm not getting married until I am 35. MAYBE thirty."
That brought me to a halt. "Wait, seriously? You think we're waiting that long to get married?"
"Yeah. I plan to spend the rest of my life with you, but I want to wait until I'm financially secure before I get married."
"Um... I'm not waiting seven years to get married. I want to have more kids."
"Oh," he says, "I don't want to have kids until I'm at least 35."
Now, we're the same age, so now he's telling me that he expects me to wait until I'm 35 to even start having more kids? Ummm... no. That's not going to work at all. "I already HAVE one kid. I'm not going to wait until she's almost 9 to have my second child. Plus, I want to have six kids and there is no way I can have five kids if I don't start until I'm 35!"
Well... that went well. I mean, we weren't even really fighting or even arguing. Yeah, there was some discord, but in reality we had only joked about the topic or talked about it in vague terms at that point.
The conversation carried on all the way to the car, and for a while at the car. In the end, Patrick was stubbronly saying, "No, I'm not getting married until I'm 30 and I only want one kid."
I was like, "Well that sucks that we can't be together, because I want more kids sooner than later" (and we all know that women have a time limit moreso than men in the baby making department, anyway!) " and I'm not waiting until I"m 30 to get married..."
So, but the time we got back to our apartment, we'd decided to get our marriage license the next day before work. Whatever money we made over the weekend would go towards paying for the costs to elope and a wedding ring...
And that was that.
The next day we got our marriage license.
The NEXT next day:
Patrick: Byn Leffel. That's going to sound strange.
Me: What? I'm not changing my name. I like my name. I ALREADY changed my name once. I'm done. Besides, you don't even speak to your parents unless I make you. Why should I take your parents name?
Patrick: Well, that might be a sticking point for me. I don't know why, but that's how it is.
Me: Okay, well. I like my name and I don't care for yours... speaking of which, have you even told your parents that we're getting married?
Patrick: Ummm, I'll call her tomorrow. I still think you have to change your name. We should have the same last name if we're going to be married.
Me: That's fine with me, you can take my name.
Patrick: Hmmm... that might just work.
And this is one of the earliest photos that I can find from AFTER we got married (and we already had three kids):
(Next up: The Actual Wedding Day... like a comedy of errors.)
art and flair courtesy of @PegasusPhysics
Oh, my! What a lovely story! Congratulations on your milestone 24 years of marriage! I enjoyed reading your article, my friend! Take care.
Thank you so much for the comment!
What a story! Funny how quickly discord changed to agreeing with one another. Perhaps that's what I've not found in a relationship? Too stubborn and I pick those ones too ;)
He pretty much always comes around to my way of thinking... but I rarely EVER argue anything that I'm not absolutely already set on (or 110% sure I'm right about!) <3 It does make things easier.
very cute story byn! i love the photos you shared thank you!
Thanks for reading. We're kind of weird, but a little bit cute, too! ;)
What a sweet story! I think your relationship with your husband is truly inspiring <3
I'm pretty fortunate to have found this guy when I did. And REALLY lucky that he's so stubborn/dedicated/convinced that it's just the way it's supposed to be (he said when I asked, 'What word am I looking for?')
What a hilarious way to decided to get married right away! It went from seven years to three days within one argument (well, conversation). Cracks me up!
That is how so many of our "arguments" have went. He says, "No way in hell!"
Then I say something of the nature of, "Well, okay, convinced me that I'm wrong"
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That is so great - that you got him from 9 years to 1 day on the way home LOL
He's always been very easy to convince. :) On ALMOST everything, anyway!
Happy Anniversary :)Yay @Byn. You made him see that Tomorrow was the better choice all in a car ride :)
If only I had found a career that paid well and used my wonderful convincing skills! :) Thanks for the comment!
Congratulations on your anniversary! I loved reading your post and hearing your story. I feel like I have had a whistle-stop tour of your life.
My friend took his wife's name - but then he was called Mr Tart! :)
"Whistle stop tour," that is a great phrase for it! I may have to use that in the future as I continue the story!
My husband wanted to take my name, but it would have required more money than we had. Frustratingly enough, if I had taken his name, it would have cost nothing, but if he wanted to take mine... it would have taken a legal name change and a lawyer at the time!
Lol. That is a GREAT gif!
Memes are my jams
That's an awesome story & congratulations on going after what you need. My hat is off to you! Much love, lady!
Thank you so much! I've never had much of a problem going for what I wanted... at least in this relationship. :)
LOL!! Great story....and it's lasted!!! You must have each other well trained by now. Congrats!
Definitely! We know each others strengths, weaknesses and we compliment each other very well!
howdy @byn! sorry somehow I missed this yesterday, this post and everyone already said all the nice stuff and I don't want to ruin the vibe so I'll just say I dropped by to show my support. bytheway ya'll had some wild hair styles up there back then!
The best way to ruin the vibe is to say, "I don't want to ruin the vibe, so..."
At any rate, I know this part of the story isn't romantic in any way shape or form (and doesn't make me look awesome), but I'm not one to shy away from it once I decide to share it. :/ I'm nothing if not realistic.
As it turned out, we got pregnant on every birth control we used, so the "choice" wasn't much of one anyway! I'm almost afraid to say it, but the vasectomy is the only birth control that worked. (Surely it's too late NOW for that to stop working after 17 years... right???)
lol! you mean you're finally done wanting to have kids??
Nah nothing to worry about.
thanks Byn your story was great! REAL life.
What a special story. Sounds like he didn't stand a chance which makes it even more special.
The funny thing is that when the actual wedding day arrived, he was solid as a rock and I was such a nervous wreck, he literally had to hold me up walking down the aisle. He's always been more solid about this whole marriage thing than I have!
Shame, sounds like you two really compliment eachother. I remember how I was shaking on my wedding day too. Its so nerve wrecking having all those people staring at you like that, never did like being the center of everyone's focus.