We're continuing with the new format. Let us know if you like it.
Firstly, please look at our logo:
Thank you to @gnarlyanimations for designing our new logo
It is here for two reasons, firstly it's pretty gnarly. Secondly the reason which came first is that it hides who the jester is. As do these words because they will show up on your screen so we're trying not to give it away.
This week we had 4 nominations for Court Jester and they are:
- @diebitch: How to annoy millennials - A comprehensive guide - Comedy Open Mic round 29
- @tcpolymath: Breasts: A Python Tutorial. (Comedy Open Mic Round #29)
- @amirtheawesome1: Asshole Batman - Comedy Open Mic Round 29 Entry 1/Fundraiser
- @belemo: Asking The Tough Questions: COM29 second entry
Congratulations to all of you. You managed something quite rare. You've managed to make a bunch of depressed maniacs laugh enough that they now like you (good luck, hope you figure out how to escape the dungeon). Without any further standing on ceremony (my ceremonial thong is itchy) here is your winner this week:
The Comedy Open Mic Comedy Contest Court Jester for Round 29:
@diebitch:
How to annoy millennials - A comprehensive guide - Comedy Open Mic round 29
>
The following is an attempt at comedy
Back off millennials Get a job !If you were born in the less hatey eightys, congratulations you're not a millennial. You can join in the fun and annoy the shit out of them. It's as easy it is to offend them.
- Send them to the file room: If a millennial shows up at work (that's a big if), send them to the file room. The horrors of a record room with stone age type folders will annoy them but might scar them deeply. So that's a bonus.
- Start spouting the queen's english : It is a truth well known that the self righteous, self entitled, selfie obsesse progeny born towards the end of the century is allergic to proper english. You could send them Byron's She walks in beauty only to get the thumbs up emoji as a reply. But it should have been the annoyed poop emoji.
- Write open letters to their open letters : These politically correct creatures are offended by anything. In their political correctness, they lose the freedom of speech, the passion for a cause. Show them the passion we have, the change we brought to the world other than enhancing it by introducing man buns.
- Steal their phone: Steal their life. Make them face the real world, real people whose faces they cant understand. Birds who don't look angry and candy that doesn't disappear in threes.
- Go full 90's on them: Install a dial up connection and internet explorer on their system. Superglue their phone to their charger to imitate the cord phones of yore.
- Be a college drop out: Staying in school is not cool. Crushing debt is not your best bet. Millennial love college, they love disagreeing with archaic study methods so much that they like spending a fortune to do it. So to annoy them, start a company, be a college drop out and hire millennials.
- Participation Trophies: Give them participation trophies with the words "ANTI- FEMINISM" on it. This will put them in a dilemma since there's nothing they love more than trophies but feminism.
- Steal their lunch before they have a chance to instagram it.
- Ask for a CV: They won't know what it is and when they do they'll write you an open letter about it.
- They all want to die. Don't let them.
- Call them on their phone instead of texting them. At first they'll not understand the phenomena. "Where's the weird sound coming from? "
- Number this list wrong.
I want to nominate @pechichemena and @meno in the hopes that they aren't millennials.
The remaining prizes will be announced in the comment under this post.
Come say "Hi" to the judges or get tips on improving or just chat with other contestants. We have opened up a ComedyOpenMic discord channel, Click Here. Don't be shy, come say "hi".
Round 30 is now under way so remember to put in your entries, upvote our contestants and share the laughs all over steemit and beyond!!
Over 29 weeks we have managed to give away >3000 SBD and 338 Steem (current value of >$3,150USD, at time of posting). So don't forget to keep upvoting @comedyopenmic when you see it. The more upvotes we get, the more we will give away.
@ComedyOpenMic is the Proud Sponsor of @ProjectGiving
@ProjectGiving uses the power of the Steem Blockchain to raise exposure and funds for small scale non-profit initiatives around the world. Click on the banner to learn more about this week's fundraiser for: Yokaenso, a Tanzanian non-profit which seeks to create an ecologically sustainable community.
Thank you to @matytan for the great banner
Congrats everyone! @diebitch is probably the funniest bitch on this blockchain, and should hook up with @amirtheawesome1 :-)
I’ll run the idea by her husband.
Thanks you guys! This is a pleasant surprise ! I have always enjoyed beating @belemo and @amirtheawesome1
Take it easy Singh, I didn’t win because I was judging.
I guess im funny now. Who knew? No more writing Edgar Allan Poe fan fiction, for me!
Gratz to @diebitch and to the rest..... you know what to do if you want to win!
You, the people and farm animals behind @comedyopenmic, are the true People's Champions by powering through this bear market to keep this project running.
Congratulations to all winners! (^.^)V