So you have won the legal battle against the CPS and now you have your child returned to you. You and your children are back together as one happy family. Congratulations. You have fared better than most folks who have had to deal with the CPS foster system. It has been a tough climb but you have earned it. All is OK now. Well not necessarily. You still have some emotional housekeeping to do.
The Emotional Fallout
You see when the Child Protective Services enter your life, they leave a nasty residue of baggage for you to sort out. Feelings like pain, hurt, anger, guilt, and hopelessness along with tears, shakes, flash backs, nightmares and loneliness. That is some serious stuff. You might call it fallout. It could bee compared to the aftermath of a tornado, hurricane or tsunami. We remember when the bomb was dropped on Japan. Well you get the picture.
Left unattended these conditions lead to famine, decease and eventual death. The same is true with the aftermath that is faced by a child or parent from the system. Emotional baggage grows and grows an weights the person down. Thy my hide it or chose not to face it but it eventually comes out sideways. This may be passive aggressiveness, numbness, mood swings, anger, jealousy, violence, guilt, depression or fear. It also may be seen in addictive behavior to drugs, alcohol , sex, food, crime and a host of other psychological behaviors. It is even possible your child may blame you for some of what happened. You may blame yourself. But please don't go there. It is a rabbit hole for which is not worth it.
Perhaps your son or daughter will refuse to talk about it and says they are OK. It may show up in their school grades or behavior around other peers. Perhaps they are now more quiet than before the CPS got their grimy hands on them. This behaviors and psychological concerns MUST be addressed. Otherwise emotional baggage multiplies and like an outbreak of the plague, others become infected with your negative energy.
Counseling is a great first start for both you and your child. Yes parents have baggage too. Along with the mental health I would encourage spiritual health. Finding a good church family or friends who can build you up an foster positive growth and prayer is important. Finally building that trust between you and your family is crucial. Trusting is hard...particularly when it has been recently shattered. But like building a house, one must have a solid foundation to rebuild your family.
Memory Repression
The repression of the memory is a new concept but very real to the person who suffers horrific trauma. We have seen this with children who have been sexually abused by priests in the scandals of the Catholic Church. We continue to learn how the mind can repress an incident, only to be brought to mind later by a trigger point. Those memories were there all along. But like an old dusty book cataloged on a library shelf, they too can be opened and brought into view. And those pages printed in memory can be toxic with venom unless proper counseling and healing occur.
The Ghosts of St. Joseph’s Catholic Orphanage is a classic example. I stumbled across the story published in August 2018. It tells the story how orphans were abused and even murdered. The survivors of this hell filed for justice only to again be treated with disrespect. These gentle souls had their memory of these evils repressed for decades. Apparently other countries like Germany, UK, Ireland and Canada have dealt with the emotional baggage left from the orphanage system of long ago. The United States has not. As a result many folks go to their grave without knowing the proper healing from such childhood trade
The video is just over 9 minute.
This is the haunting story of children who survived horrors in American orphanages, and their fight to make the world believe them. Read the full investigation: https://www.buzzfeednews.com/article/...
There is one thing that evil cannot stand and that is forgiveness.
When we work through our emotional baggage in prayer or counseling, we learn to let go and forgive. This is all part of the healing process. One cannot be completely healed if one cannot forgive. Our emotional health depends on it in order to move forward and grow. Without being able to forgive you are only hurting yourself.
Who have you not forgiven in your life? Is it about time?
I encourage you to get your emotional fallout in order. It takes time and you may be finding lose ends years from now ...only not as many. The CPS party is over. The room is still. Grab a broom and mop and clean up and complete the closure process of this chapter of your life.
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THIS POST IS DEDICATED TO THE PROTECTION Of FAMILIES AND CHILDREN EVERYWHERE! God bless the folks @familyprotection who are speaking out for others. I encourage you to support their cause and support the bloggers who expose this tyranny and injustice. I want to offer a shout out to @canadian-coconut and @markwhittam in gratitude for all their efforts in this cause. Support @familyprotection?
This is the part of the story we don't usually hear about...happily ever afters often take even greater care and concern than the horror that went before. Healing is always more difficult than staying healthy in the first place.
Thanks for pointing this out and reminding people the work only begins when you get your children back, just like a marriage only begins with the beautiful happily-ever-after wedding.
Well said my friend. Yes we over look this too often...and I feel it needs more attention than it receives. Thanks.
There is no better medicine than forgetting the past for good. Only then can healing come fully.
Thanks for the Post, have you thought about working as a counselor(unprofessionally maybe)? I won't be surprised if you told me you already do that.
Forgiveness is a big part of the healing process. I have considered it as a second career and stage in my life. I would need to go back to school to do this. It would be a good way to contribute back and make a difference. Thanks my friend @kryptocoin.
I wish I could write as well as you in English. This is superbly written and yes the aftermath of what CPS involvement did to the parents and children is another horror to be dealt with. Thank you for the excellent advice for the parents!
I agree. Most folks do not consider the fallout effects. Thanks and blessings @hope777