This is going to feel like a really weird exercise to some of you, but I hope that won't stop you from doing it.
Do I need to first tell you how important strong self-embrace is for your happiness and success in life?
You know that you are the one deciding how much good stuff you let in, right?
Okay, I'm going to roll with the fact that you already know this is important stuff. So let's just focus on how you strengthen self-love without falling into the false bravado and selfishness so many people confuse with it.
Try This for 3 Days
Method 1 (for people who don't already make on-camera videos) - Make a video where you speak to the camera. It can be one you record with your own software like Windows Movie Maker or whatever version is on Mac. Or with your cell phone's camera and video function. Or even a livestream you do on Facebook. (You can set privacy to 'Only Me' if you want.)
However you make it, whatever you decided to say, record yourself speaking for at least 5 minutes. Do talk about something in particular and make a point that you think is important. Don't just ramble. Also get yourself looking well-groomed, as if you really were going to show this video to the world. And maybe later you will, though that's not our objective here.
After you make the video, watch it. Play it back at least twice, watching and listening to yourself. And here's the key part: notice how you feel as you watch this person.
Are you comfortable or uncomfortable watching and listening to yourself? Are you supportive or critical?
Do this again the next day with either a new video, or just watching the first one a couple more times. Notice if you are starting to get more comfortable watching yourself just naturally the first replay on this second day.
In the second replay on the second day, intentionally focus your emotions on loving the person you are watching. Notice all the good things about what you are seeing and hearing, but also apart from any thoughts of judgment, just fill your emotions with love as you watch yourself. There doesn't actually have to be justification for loving anything, including yourself.
Love because love feels good and you've decided to feel good.
Do it again on a third day, either making a new video or just replaying the first one a couple times. Again notice how you naturally feel watching yourself on the first replay of the day. Then on the second replay intentionally generate a feeling of love as you watch yourself.
Then get out actual paper and pen/pencil and write your reflections on the 3 day exercise. No one else is going to see this but you. The act of writing it down will give you access to deeper insights.
You may remember when your relationship to self shifted to being less loving. Or maybe you'll recall experiences from childhood in which you felt unconditional love from someone. Or you'll see more clearly something you want for yourself right now... maybe including how to get it. Whatever you discover is perfect, even if it is just noticing your current patterns.
Method 2 (for those already recording videos) - Do the same exercise above only instead of recording new videos, go back and watch one of your previous videos. Watch 5 minutes of one twice each day for 3 days.
If I was talking to you after you'd already picked one I'd have a follow-up question, but if I ask it now it will affect what you do. But if you do this, please comment below afterward and I'll give you the follow-up self-inquiry question in reply.
But even without that, notice also how you respond to watching yourself.
Do you naturally feel yourself fill with love and adoration as you watch yourself or do you have to manufacture the feeling with willpower?
Do you feel embarrassment or shame as you watch yourself?
Notice and then on the 3rd day, do a written reflection on the entire experience.
In Summary
Most of us have long been taught how important self-love is if we are to reach our full potential in life and truly feel successful, not just look successful to others. Yet how often do most of us take action to build that self-love muscle the way we would work-out any other muscle group in the body?
Well hopefully you do exercise your body. I know you exercise your mind plenty. Well time to start intentionally exercising your self-love too.
Enjoy!
Truly in sync with my post, and what you are proposing here is exactly what I have been doing a few weeks ago.
I already have some experience with camera and watching myself, because I was in a theater group many years ago, so I increasingly got a feel for it. Nonetheless, just for fun I decided to make videos talking about spiritual stuff some weeks ago over several days simply to refresh the feel of watching myself anew, and I did exactly what you said here. Perhaps I will make some DTube videos one day, but for now I enjoy writing.
Very good that you focus on the term self-love because ultimately it is about being authentically comfortable with oneself, not what others think of you. Some people on camera might draw their "confidence" from positive feedback by others, not from positive feedback from within. Does that matter? I think so, because when we draw our entire confidence from what others think of us, this might easily affect us in the other direction as well. It is similar with photos. Personally, no matter how nice the feedback given by other people was, whether honest or not, it wouldn't make me like that particular image more. If I don't like it, I don't like it. The same goes the other way around. If I like it and others not, I would still use it.
And that is the main point I guess. Do I truly love myself the way I am irrespective of what others think of me or will I make my self-Love dependent on how others perceive and receive me? Only with the former the self-Love can be authentic, while with the latter false bravado, as you call it, is most likely, and that is the huge majority of people these days.
So much yes to this! Bingo.
I agree with you. I have done a similar exercise you just recommended unconsciously and I get a sense of what you are talking about.
What am using for my self-love exercise is cancelling out people in my life who I think are negative to my life and I do it easily.
By 'canceling out' do you mean ending those friendships? It is definitely important to be selective in who one spends time with and who gets your attention. We truly do absorb a lot from other people.
Yes, I meant ending the friendship. Some people know how to rub you off wrongly.
Wow! This seems like a powerful exercise! I am somewhat intimidated by it as I have never liked hearing my voice and much less watching me on videos. That must be why I find it an intriguing exercise for myself!
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I really hope you'll do it. Doing some version of this made a huge difference for me. And even now, when I do a livestream or make a video, I make myself watch at least a few minutes of the replay and keep track of how I feel doing it. I then use that information to see where I need adjustments or confirm that I'm in tune with the creation of the life I want. It's really useful (and accurate) feedback.
I love an idea of weird excercises @indigoocean :)
You got my attention within a seconds.
ps. I do feel quite self-loved because I enjoy who I am. I love what I represent and I respect my values. But I do not necessarily like the way I sound.
Part of me feels like going through this exercise will only make me start to dislike myself lol
Yours
Piotr
Nah... You're are a great guy and and many times what we don't like about us is what attracts others
LOL, you know at first it can seem like it makes you feel worse about yourself. But really it just exposes how you secretly feel about aspects of yourself. It's work to change that sometimes, but it's important work. Ultimately, we run empty if we are always giving without having that self-love energy to keep refilling us.
dear @indigoocean
You're absolutely right. And it's not even how I secretly feel about this aspect (my own voice). I know it openly :D
Luckily as long as I do not record myself, I do not have to be concerned :P
on a serious note: I understand idea of this excercise. You're doing great job here on Steemit. Keep it up.
Yours
Piotr
LOL!
I had never really heard that kind of exercise before. I would be embarrassed to do it. I guess we must first overcome the fear of the camera hahaha. Probably take enough courage to do it.
Great post
It really does take courage! The first times I had to livestream I actually turned the camera away from myself so that all people could see was trees. Eventually I became braver and turned the camera toward myself, but then I would cringe as I watched the replay. But I needed to do that to keep improving. And surprise, I've discovered that it now comes more easily to me to be supportive of myself, and as I do that I also seem to have life work in my favor more easily too.
Please give it a try!
I don't even like to take pictures of myself
I will try it eventually
I am camera conscious, and what I see in camera.. unfortunately I don't like
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Just remember that you are the only one who ever needs to see this. You can even delete it after the 3 days.
But if you genuinely feel dislike when you see yourself, even if no one else is there to form an opinion or be affected in any way, that's important information on how you feel about yourself, not just how you appear on camera. Can you practice retraining yourself to feel love while looking at what may feel uncomfortable at first? Is it worth it to try?
Two great exercises.
In order to really show truelove to others, and feel love, one must first love thyself.
Here is the link to the post.
@janie posted this 9 days ago, and boy the idea she presented, though simple, is worth its weight in gold. https://steemit.com/steemitbloggers/@jaynie/jaynie-1544773801731-positive-friday-vibes
Here is her message.
"You need to learn how to select your thoughts just the same way you select your clothes every day. This is a power you can cultivate. If you want to control things in your life so bad, work on the mind. That's the only thing you should be trying to control."
As with your your methods, very simple exercise to improve self esteem.
Yes, I would agree wholeheartedly. The most important freedom is the ability to control one's own mind, and with it one's emotions. This creates our experience of life, and what is our life other than how we interpret the experience?
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