Dealing with Defense Mechanisms

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Dear ones so many of you are defeated by your own behavior, by the defensive posturing that you allow to be your go-to behavior when you’ve become triggered by outside stimuli. This is not a peaceful or enjoyable way to live your life and it requires from you the automatic adrenaline reaction of fight or flight which can only end in you becoming exhausted to the point of weary surrender which reinforces the concept that you can be victimized by anyone or anything outside yourself. Once you believe you can be a victim, it’s only a short slide down the vibrational ladder until you become a victim and give up your sovereign right as a creator.

We want you to understand that everything that touches your life does so because of a choice you made. Yes, you are just that powerful and wishing it away won’t change that truth. So, we want you to understand that it’s your thoughts and emotions that are steering the ship in which you’re sailing. No one is doing anything to you. Since no is doing anything to you, there is no one and nothing to defend against. Therefore, there is no need for defense mechanisms or defensive reactions. Everything that’s coming at you, first had to come from you. The thing you’re defending yourself from is a product of your own imagining and not a real source of threat. The things that you’ve carefully established boundaries from and reactions to are things that could not and do not exist without your personal interaction. This means that you’re defending yourself from yourself so the defense mechanisms you’ve created that react to outside stimuli are just reacting to your imagination and not real or present dangers. In other words, you are safe. You are safe all the time and you are safe always. However, you can believe that you’re in danger and you create circumstances that will make you believe this is true. So what do you do?

First, you must become present. When you’re reacting defensively to anything you’re not reacting to what’s happening (except for the very rare occasion that you are in danger and then reacting would be appropriate). No, you’re reacting to something that happened in in the past that ended up causing you emotional or physical pain. You’ve established a dialogue in your mind that states, “I was hurt by these kinds of statements, actions or events before. I recognize this pattern and I refuse to be hurt again so I’m going to react defensively, get the jump on the other party because I’m nobody’s fool and I’m not going to be hurt again.” Then you give the silent command to yourself, “Defenses up” and your body goes into hyper-drive as it attempts to figure out how best to defend against the oncoming attack. Your defense will vary between the fight response which could be harsh words or physical violence to the flight response which will vary between withdrawing as the turtle withdraws itself into its shell for protection to physically removing yourself from the vicinity of the threat. Whatever you choose it will feel like the only thing you can do. You won’t feel good about your choice, you’re more likely to be terrified of your choice but you’ll perceive it to be the only logical solution that will protect you from the harm that’s threatening your peace. This seems logical and even intelligent until you realize that nothing is happening to you, you’re anticipating the pain by drawing on the past and jumping ahead to the future. If you had insisted that you be present in this moment, instead of looking back or leaping forward, you would see the impact of your actions. This is where discipline comes in. You must stop allowing yourself to be anywhere else except this moment. Instead of relying on defense mechanisms to live your life begin depending on being in the present moment to live your life. If you’re present in what’s happening now, you’ll be able to react appropriately. You won’t be using the yardstick of the past to measure how you should react today or tomorrow. Instead, when you’re fully present you’ll be consumed with gratitude for the blessings you possess. Presence and gratitude support each other because they both require awareness. When you’re behind or ahead you’re not here mentally and you cannot summon gratitude for the place you have left or at which you have not yet arrived. It’s only by being present that you can recognize and be grateful for all that you have. All you have is now, this moment, this point in time, don’t squander it by being elsewhere and then wonder why you feel discontent.

Now that you’ve returned your focus to your present and you’ve agreed to act from this moment you must engage in a second step to effectively deal with your defense mechanisms. You must become the examiner, the observer, the curious one who begins analyzing rather than participating in knee-jerk reactions. During this step, you must enter the realm of the heart and get serious about what you will allow from yourself. If you’re content being reactive and victimized do not enter the energetic heart space but if you want to retake control of your life, you must become present focused and examine your go-to defensive behaviors. Begin by asking yourself, “How is this serving me? What do I gain from acting or reacting in this way? Does this behavior represent me or does it make me feel small and weak?” Without judging yourself for acquiring the behavior simply observe your physical and emotional reaction when your defense mechanisms are unleashed. Does the use of them make you feel like a victim or a victor? Do you feel in control or out of control? Do you admire or pity this person? Once you understand how your actions are making you feel, you have a choice to allow them to continue as is or to put into place actions that feel good to you, that make you feel proud, in control and victorious. Now is the time to do the energetic work to clear the heart space. As long as it’s filled with hurt and pain your actions will be ruled by that trauma. Release the past, make peace with what was and let it go. Then return to the present and create a peaceful now.

No one can force anything upon you. You are always in charge but you must return to the present moment and take control of your thoughts and actions. Instead of acting reflexively or defensively learn to act thoughtfully. By being present in every moment you can choose the thought, emotion and action that feels best to you and you become a victorious being living in the high place of love, joy and peace.

Marcia Martin M Ed – The Heart Healer, your relationship expert, guides you in improving all of your relationships, beginning with the most important one, yourself. Using her extensive education as well as her intuitive gifts she will bring you a breakthrough in gentle transformation. Using her proprietary method: The Spiritual Heart Healing Technique, she guides you in accessing the memories that are holding you, prisoner. By eliminating the unconscious program that is running in the background and sabotaging your life, you experience true freedom.

Her program targets the energetic heart center where every emotional memory and its triggers are stored. Once these memories are cleared and healed you are able to live life on your terms, as your authentic self, empowered to live your life on purpose as the person you came here to be. Heal your heart and transform your life!

Message her for a complimentary, thirty-minute consultation at http://www.marciamartinthehearthealer.com/contact.html.