Welcome Steemit to our 3rd Mindful Monday. Pull up your chair get comfortable and hopefully enjoy the musings for today.
This past week I found myself with a few challenges. The main one being an argument that wasn't an argument. If that makes any sense. Friday was so eventful at one point I had been fired. I had been accused of being rude, malicious and a 40 something man that is about 6ft tall and over 300 lbs looked me in the eye and said 'I'm afraid you are going to kill me.' My mouth hit the floor.
I had a mild demeanor all day. I was a little anxious, but it wasn't bad. I still don't understand how I thought I was calm and collected for 90% of my day there. My manager and I were having an off moment and miscommunicating. She told me stop giving her attitude and I wasn't. The owner who is the person I described, told me to calm down and walk away. I said I was fine, I wasn't upset (which I wasn't). I went to get my things and leave, since I had a doctor's appointment I had to get to. I got the 'Oh that's right just walk away'
I was working on another post about finding a mantra to help me focus on what is important. After reading a few posts today along with the conversations I have had. I can not seem to move past this. In a post or a comment I had made the comment of what we were told as kids 'sticks and stones may break our bones, but words will never hurt me.' I knew this before but it was reaffirmed by this situation. Words can do more harm than we were ever led to believe. Was this to be the litmus test of our lives? Was this when we learned or were supposed to learn how to take things so personally? All of these questions began running through my head. If this is the case how was I able to prevent the same cycles from happening to my children? Simple, I was determined to teach them how to define themselves. To look at the truth around them.
The only really negative thing either of my kids heard was my son. His step-mother and his father would tell him regularly that he would be dead or in jail by the time he was 19. This appalled me when I found out. There were quite a few phones calls because of this. I told them that they were trying to predetermine his life and self worth. That it was wrong of them to even put those thoughts in his head. It took a lot of patience and work, I was able 'neutralize' the damage. It's become a joke now. He's 25, he's getting married in January and just started a new job at a bank. Definitely not in jail and definitely not dead.
Any way, back to my point. I had been conditioned my most of my life. 'You aren't wanted. I wanted a boy not a girl.' 'You're fat.' 'You're ugly.' 'Buffalo Butt' 'Henrietta Hippo' 'Two-ton Tessie' to name just a few of the endearments used to define me to my face by all of my family. At this age... I was scrawny. At 9 yrs old I was lucky if I were 50 lbs wet.
So now, I'm told by someone larger than me in every way shape and form, the thought I was going to kill him. Where on earth or what on earth would possess someone to say something like that. It's no like I had approached him. The only thing I did is I went from calm to mom mad in 2 seconds. Should I have done it. No. I was tired of being told what I was. I was being victimized again and my instinct now is to stand up. I told him I wasn't mad, but if he wanted to see me mad, I would give him a glimpse. At that point, I walked to my desk picked up my stuff, clocked out. While he is yelling at me about locking him out of the system or blocking accounts. Nice to know where I stood. I had to leave and that was the only thing on my mind. I told him he could say what he wanted but, it's all lies and that he was out of line to make the comments that he did.
I still have my job, but I really don't want to go back. All I know is I watched my words to my kids. I tried to teach them better than I was taught and I have tried for most of my life to put this behind me. Yet, PTSD loves to rear its head and recreate scenarios where they aren't. What have I learned through all of this is watch how you talk to people. Words are powerful. You can lift someone up with just a word, but you can devastate them all the same. If you in the right place in your heart and your mind, all of this is really of no consequence. If you aren't try to bring yourself back to the moment realize what is going on before you act irrationally and do more harm than good. I know this is as far as what happened on Friday will go. The blame will rest with me because that is how this type of person is. I divorced my ex-husband who created the mess, I am not going to allow this one to treat me in the same manner.
I hope this helps someone, I know to talk about things, helps me. So, I'm a little crazy LOL. I am ok with that. I question everything and that is fine. I would hope you would question when someone constantly treats you in a negative fashion. Spread kindness, you never know what someone else is going through and your smile just might be enough to lift their day.
I apologize, for not having any features ready. As you can tell my mind was a bit preoccupied. I see what we can do to set that straight 😊
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Slightly confused by this post...
Speaking of us being what we think about (great Earl Nightengale quote), something about PTSD, and some vague injustice at work.. are you saying that you are pent up agressiomnwaiting to explode? Do you find yourself as a challenge? I'm sorry, I'm just confused... But this post comes across as anything but from the perspective of someone who may meditate or follow a path. May your mind find peace within.
Smile, I believe in you, semper namaste
Sorry, that I confused you. I guess my own confusion of the situation came through a little too much. Too many details in the wrong area. What bothered me by the whole situation was that words were said that were unfounded and quite frankly appalling.
Sometimes I discuss a specific topic from a generalized stand point. Sometimes I use my own circumstances to show a relation between a situation and a practical application of various techniques. I don't pretend to be an expert of any sort. I simply work to inform people and give them options.
This week's topic is about how much words can hurt a person even if others mean it in jest. When someone becomes conditioned to something, it is a very hard cycle to break. When it's mental conditioning it's worse. So we need to mindful of our thoughts. Mindful of what we say. We should not to beat ourselves up when the conditioning takes over and we lose sight of being mindful. We shouldn't dwell on the incident. In this case, I didn't. I didn't do any of this, so I failed. I am ok with that. I am human and it's ok that I wasn't able to see what I needed to do at the time.
Thank you and you have a wonderful week.
Sounds like a tough week. Yes, words can hurt, and we must mind them lest they do damage. However, we so must mind our reactions to the words of others. It's hard when you don't know this, such as when you are young, so teaching young people to not react and watch sensation is probably best we can do. I hope you find peace this week.
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I actually got a little bit of time today, not much, I was able to sit in silence and get things sorted. So I'm am much better
Sometimes it feel's so desperate knowing what people were been through. But at the same time it was fun, yes your words were fun. I can't imagine someone just told you, he'll gonna be killed. Why would someone think's that way? Well we are all have different opinion in life.
Even though you have a rough week, you still manage to overcome it all and have courage to express. That's right, if you won't voice out they'll misunderstood you. Even if you're not mad, they'll think you are.
We can't help criticism but if you just want to feel at ease and forget what happened. Lot of people are in discord that will spend time and to make time passed like nothing happened. You can also write in steem where many people can interact and maybe they have the same experience like yours.
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We agree, our community in Discord is great for us to chat and support each other! :) Glad you are there.
it's always been a pleasure of mine being there.
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I have to keep putting that thought out of my mind. I still can't believe that he said that to me. The funniest part, he ignored me all day. He didn't say hello. Didn't respond to my hello. So be it. His problem, not mine. I had a pleasant day 😊
really? then it's fine as long as you have a great day. Anyway they can't affect your daily life by just being ignored, it's their loss not youes. 😎😎
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Writing for me has become very cathartic. Sometimes I divulge too much. Once I released it and got some quiet time things have been good. This is one of the main reasons I started doing Mindfulness Monday posts on my own. Use my experiences to help others. Sometimes it turns into a brain dump, usually I am on track.
You're absolutely right if they can't see that then it is their problem. Thank you for your support.
I’m so sorry to hear you had a very tough day. Sending you love ❤️❤️❤️. “This too will pass...” was a mantra given by Buddha if it helps. You are loved, you are wanted & you are respected. 🧘🏼♂️🧘🏼♀️
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My mom would tell me that one as a kid. It comes back once in a while. All is good. And thank you so much @bewithbreath 💜💜
😊👍🏼💙💙🧘🏼♂️🧘🏼♀️
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When my kidsare getting beaten down by life and other people ( kids can be really cruel) I see it as my job to help them get their mojo back. So I make them recite the last two lines from Ernest Henleys' poem Invictus until I see their mojo rising. Works every time.
I am the master of my fate
I am the captain of my soul
Don't let those pricks steal your mojo, they don't deserve it.
This is a wonderful reminder @khufu. I had done a post last year on Invictus. It's wonderful that you have given that power to your kids. I wish I had read Invictus prior to having kids, it would be in their repertoire.
I have a page I keep pinned to the wall next to my desk about changing my thoughts. I think I'll put Invictus up too.
I’m sorry you had to deal with that at work. So frustrating and I can certainly relate. One thing I’ve noticed is that when people are comfortable in their own skin and empowred and awakened, some people just can’t handle the shine, it activates parts of them that need awakened and it scares them. Thanks for sharing your story and lots of love to you💜💙💕🙏🏻
I've seen the same. That's what my husband had said too. He thinks it's funny that I intimidate people without knowing. I just laugh, 'That's not my goal' He reminds me the problem isn't me that it's them. Thank you for reading @consciousangel7 💜💜
You are welcome! So funny cause this same thing happened to me at work yesterday hahaha someone said I intimidated them and it really upset me because it’s an employee I had given so much energy and helped more than others. The world is a crazy place and I’m glad we can all share our experiences so we don’t have to feel so alone 💜
Thank you so much@vincentnijman 😊 I'll look at right after I finish this. I have been meaning to 'start' Then I realized that I do to a point and I don't need things to 'align' to 'jump in'
I had read a book what seems like another lifetime. It was about law of attraction and coincidence. The whole theory of the energy that you put out comes back to you. Most of us know this which is why we have chosen this lifestyle, path, or what you will. I have learned most things aren't coincidence, that when you really look into it there was energy sent out and the universe guides (keeping it generic)
Ok that was perfect!! Again thank you so much @Vincentnijman 💜💜