Our beloved doggo’s name is Trixie. She’s weird as fuck! I swear to you. I can not lie. She’s weird as fuck and she makes me clean her shit.
She also gets so frigging hyperactive all the time and has a penchant for laying on her back with her four limbs in the air waiting for you to rub the hell out of her, all the while panting like a maniac on the loose.
She’s weird, I tell you. And obviously she’s beautiful as hell. She’s the most beautiful dog ever, if you want to know the truth. But she’s weird, I tell you.
So check this out. Trixie sees you, right? Trixie sees you sitting down in front of the T.V trying to whoop your friend’s ass at FIFA 18 right, or trying to hunt down and kill a mfycker in Call of Duty, and what does she do!? What does this adorable but weird Trixie do? Why, she starts jumping all over you of course! Nothing weird about that right? Right? Wrong!
Because the way Trixie does it is she jumps all over you with so much vigor and determination, and she scratches the hell out of your back and you brain with her freakishly long nails and then she goes for your hair!
For one reason or the other she always goes for the hair, with so much vigor, I tell you, and conviction, and she never stops until she makes to rip it all off you—as though trying to whoop someone’s ass on FIFA or trying kill a myfker on Call of Duty is such a terrible thing and the only means of atonement is to lose all ya hair.
And she does it only when you’re playing game. She’s weird, alright. You don’t even know the half of it. What, you dont believe me? Well hear it from the horse’s dog’s mouth. She also has some things to say about me. Just hear her speak.
Hello. I'm Trixie and my owner is the weirdest myfcker in the entire physical world and the www. He doesn’t even know who he is anymore, to tell you the truth. He calls himself by another name in real life and then Ras the This and Ras the That on the internet.
As though that aint bad enough, he seems to have a knack for choosing the weirdest shits! Ras the Exhorter? Ras the Destroyer? Ras the myfucker? What in the actual fork?
Pardon my language, though, please. I’m really such a lady. But my dumb owner he swears so much in front of me and teaches me bad language.
He’s so lazy too he doesn’t even have a job. All he does is play game all day. Get his ass whooped in FIFA and gets thirty deaths and no single kill in Call of Duty.
I try to save his ass by scratching the stupidity out of his brains and ripping his hair off. Maybe that’d teach him to get a life. He never learns though. He just yells at me with his stinky breath and goes on with his dumbness. I thought you humans were meant to be more “advanced”.
But, I should tell you if I’m going to be fully honest—and I’m one of the most honest doggo you’d ever find, in the entire physical world or on the www—what he lacks in intellect my dumb owner makes up for in passion, compassion and humor. And let’s not forget his dashing, crippling, mind-exploding good looks of course, oh my.
And he makes me laugh—with his weirdness and his tomfoolery and getting killed every time on video games and swearing and cursing the controller.
But he’s a good guy anyhow. Dumb and confused and without a cogent identity yet, but a good guy nonetheless. Make sure you give him your hundred percent upvote. He deserves it.
I love you, O identitless owner. kisses eww your breath stinks go to hell die pretty air kisses #BlessedToHaveACuteOwner #LooksLikeGambino #100%-Upvote
ahhh to see through the eyes of a dog! This is funny; it's a good thing you have her to keep you in line I think :)
Haha I'm glad you enjoyed it! Yeaah I'm so lucky to have her. Thanks for stopping by, Lynn!
Hahahaahahahaha
Omg
This is amazing.
I love this.
You and Trixie are both awesome and love each other and it's great and she's extra lucky to have such a cute owner, and I'm endlessly entertained by this and thankful
Haha. You have no idea how glad I am you enjoyed it so much!! LOL. Thanks for the epic comment bro.
Hahah 😁
I feel like I kinda do have an idea! I get you :p
Cheers brother.
Indeed your dog is so weired freaky. I think you should rename it doggy.
Haha. Not sure she'd like that but cheers!
XD this is really great <3 so funny and so gorgeous <3 Trixie and Ras <3 <3 <3
Cheers spidey!!! <3 ^100
Ah this is great, love the split perspective here - it was a nice doggo post from your perspective and turned into a really pretty funny post by the end of Trixie's section
Cheers Carl! So awful glad you enjoyed it.
very cute :)
:D
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Franklin Roosevelt spent $15,000 for a destroyer to pick up his Scottie in the Aleutian Islands.
Hahaha, you know what would be good? To know what SHE thinks about YOU :D