Before I go to bed...
This is a photo from the sunflower field yesterday that I like. Actually, you might have noticed that bees are a bit of a recurring theme in a lot of my photo and therefore post images and I think it is because I have some kind affinity with them in some ways. Namely the work for a community, the hive. I am personally hoping Hivemind will live up to the hype.
But, where a bee works on genetic and Queen's orders, I prefer to be a bit more independent and do what I think is right based on what I think is right, not rely on others to tell me what is right. It is not that I am closed to outside suggestion and influence but, I tend to have a more internal locus of control than an external one meaning, I tend to back myself rather than rely on others.
This comes with certain benefits and of course drawbacks as there tends to be less of a safety net unless, one has built it themselves. Living without a safety net is not always an enjoyable experience and it means to always be on the toes, kind of like a hunter gatherer system where one follows the sources of food without ever truly settling down.
Having a family has of course forced me into reconsidering certain aspects of this and although I can live on not much, my daughter can't, she requires certain provisions and due to her various health issues, more than my wife and I were expecting to have to cover. We have managed together and we will continue to until we can't, which I am not planning on letting ever happen bu, this takes a toll too.
To me, it is all very interesting to think about the amount of work I do now and if someone had told me I would have done this volume 7 years ago, I would have laughed at them. The other interesting thing is that most of my work is done based on expectation of payment with no contract and no guarantees. Again, no safety net. Perhaps this is why I am somewhat comfortable at Steem because I have accepted the position that if I fall, there is no one there to catch me, I am not entitled to be saved.
I don't plan on falling though and I don't consider myself overly risk-taking in general. My approach is to just keep working, keep pushing and doing what I can for the people I can, and the best I can for the people I care about. My wife doesn't really understand it all and she doesn't really believe that this has the potential I see in it but, she gives me the space to at least do the work required for the possibility.
At this point, she is hoping that it will cover some of our immediate problems soon, while I am hoping it will cover our future ones. I think I am going to have to concede to her at some point but, I keep putting it off as, this is not the time, I keep saying to her. It doesn't really matter though, it does what it does and win or lose, it has value in it for me.
People complain about all kinds of things here as do I but, there is an experience here, a depth, a compelling factor, a complication, a community or something that makes this place feel like a home. It might not be home for everyone but perhaps for those who don't mind some uncertainty and doing the work without guarantees, this is as good as it gets.
All notable things that happened were unsure from the start and most were made without safety nets to break the fall in case of failure. Perhaps while others feel the fear and stress as negative, some feed off it. As some reduce their investment into the uncertainty, others increase it. Are our reactions to how we face fear under our control or, is it just like that bee, doing what it has been told to do in one way or another?
I don't know but, it is three in the morning, I will get up again at seven and head off to work another day. Some work so they don't have to work one day, I work so I can get to choose the work I do at the level I want to do it at. The more possibility I have open, the more work I will do. We all have our individual methods and approaches to life, love and the in between, we all end somewhere. Some thinks what we do doesn't matter, some find meaning in everything done.
Goodnight.
Taraz
[ a Steem original ]
That should be the motivation in all things people do. I never could understand people who chased the dollar. Or sought out fame. It to easy for ego to get deflated. And when it does people are devastated.
If you take the position that the ego doesn't exist, the devastation is not very high.
I remember you saying something about how you felt that easing life now meant borrowing from the future and you didn't want to do that. Do you have a specific time in mind for when "the future" is? I mean I'm all for saving things up for the future but now is part of life too. I'm resonably certain it's possible to both take a bit out now to make life easier, and save the rest up for "the future" whenever that is :)
My current 'now' would be similar with or without Steem so, I am gambling that in the future Steem will make the now significantly better. Timeframe is unsure but I take the approach that an entrepreneur is willing to do what others aren't for two years. I have been here for 20 months-ish, working hard for 16 of them. 8 months left? When I say 'left', I am not going anywhere but perhaps at that point, I will have a very good review of efforts and decide whether to push as hard or ease off a bit. In between that, who knows what happens :)
Long as pushing as hard doesn't make you burn out!
Thank you for brightening my day. Awesome detail.
Cool photo :)