With all the things going on I missed my anniversary. While normally these things are Steem or relationship related, the anniversary I missed was my entry into Finland 16 years ago.
It still feels kind of surreal that I am living on the near polar opposite of where I was born. Not only that, this city in Finland is now officially the place I have lived the longest time of my life as I moved from my home town before I turned 16, and then spent the next 8 years in the far north of Australia before leabing for whiter pastures.
Whiter in many ways.
When I left Australia I had a decent job with opportunity and a solid social network I could have leveraged. When I arrived in Finland I knew very few people and those I did weren't exactly opportunity providers.
I felt quite alone.
But, I quickly built a circle of close friends I still have today and while life was economically oppressive and there were few professional opportunities for me personally, slowly I started to build a life here. Now, I could even say I have roots in Finland - which makes it hard as now there is stuff to leave.
This is the problem with finding some land and building a home, developing relationships and investing into being a part of the community as these ties make giving in difficult. I wonder that if during the many years of economic hardship I faced in Finland, if I didn't have the friends I do, would I have stayed?
Unlikely.
Most of my friends are Finnish so for them, they always had a network to fall back on and if they got in trouble, family to have their back. I never had much of that and in Finland, none of it. This meant for those times I really felt there was no way out of a predicament, it was crushing.
But, my survival thus far has proven my feelings wrong more than a handful of times as, there was a way out. Some dwell in their failures, some use whatever rock-bottom they have at their back to lift themselves from and move on.
As I mentioned to someone today, if one accepts the possibility of failure before the attempt is made, there is nothing to fear and only upside. Many people fear the failure so much they do not attempt because to do so risks losing what they already have.
Better the devil you know, Status quo.
Bring in Finland has taught me a lot including how little I need to survive and how much work I am capable of doing in order to get that little. I had it unknowingly "too easy" in Australia and, it was never easy - just familiar.
We like familiar because it conveniently means we do not have to entertain the possibilities of uncertainty and even though we dream of bettering our lives, the fear of worsening it through change is too great for most of us to overcome. Change always happens though and the reality is that if you are reading this, you yourself are proof of survival of change.
Survival doesn't mean painless.
Pain is the greatest teacher we have, it is memorable and transforms our behavior. For though that feel themselves victims of the pain it is easy to become bitter, create excuses, dwell and become stagnant or perhaps worse, aggressive and mean-spirited.
For those who recognise themselves as survivors of the pain they can transform into something with greater understanding, compassion and connectedness to the world around. Rather than barriers, bridges can be built.
We all stand alone, but who we stand next to matters.
Fears and dreams are faces on the same flipped coin.
Taraz
[ a Steem original ]
The truth is that the hardwork people put in into the future makes them over hopeful of the outcome of the future really so it's really something that comes by default I think. Like and unlike you, being born and bred in the country has been harder than most cases I see out there really
It is a part of the sunk cost fallacy with the more investment in, the harder it is to break ties. Relationships suffer this often and then stay together through convenience or, the difficulty of breaking up.
Exactly so how I wish sometimes people can be deeply invested yet Still feel indifferent or unconcerned just a little
it is the curse of complacency and taking for granted what one has. If in the relationship one decides to just walk away from what is essentially a stagnant relationship, the other will feel victimized, even though they did nothing to actually support improvement themselves.
Being afraid of failure is very common, but you have to take advantage of any experience, however negative it may be and have that courage to survive.
failure and hardship tends to shape us and once reflected upon, empower us in more ways than success ever could.
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You came to Finland when I was 5 years old – crazy :D
There must not be many Australians who've stayed here longer than you!
Lol :D
I only know a handful of Australians here anyway, but no, not many.
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May as well give things a go and fail rather than wishing you'd done it when you had the chance XD
Funny how many have this attitude but when push comes to shove, stand still. I wish I had been braver when young but old me is a little more daring.
No regrets my friend as we make the best of our experiences and choices in the end. It seems you have your priorities straight!
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Ever think that the ability to prioritize comes with the experience of poor past prioritization? :D