My anxiety fucks me up. It's good to recognize it, in a calmer mode, so I can only get better.
Whatever has to happen will happen, nothing we can do about it!
The only parameter we control is ourselves: we have to choose the emotion to react. It's what's makes the difference from animals and children.
This is how we train our mind to think and be more positive.
I am too true to myself and not very good at controlling emotions.
Let's go for hypothesis.
Let's suppose that I have a boyfriend.
Let's suppose that he does heavy drugs sometimes.
Let's suppose that I think he really loves me, but I don't know if he has some STD and I don't know much about his past.
Let's suppose he doesn't open up, because it is the way he is.
I become very anxious about it.
I can't help it.
I know now getting anxious over someone being themselves doesn't make sense . But I can choose to accept and leave it at that.
I basically want to control someone else.
I am a freak controller and I shall accept and embrace it.
Another selfie
Sunday morning I want to have a coffee, sex and a nap preferably in that order instead of thinking about anxiety.
Nope. You can't control this guy. But you can control yourself. If you're getting anxious, that means something's wrong. If he won't help you figure it out, get yourself out of there before you get hurt.
We evolved to feel anxiety for a reason. Don't ignore it!
What he said ^
Thanks, I am trying to get myself out, but sometimes it is not easy.
ma un caffé prima del pisolino?
How about running NY marathon and smoking DMT 400 meters from the finishing line, you being the first and the second being 1 km away from you?
I am in a somewhat similar situation actually. And the feeling of having no control is even more appalling because there's a huge unknowingness that timely my brain has to turn into sequences of Worst Case Scenarios.
What you don't know will hurt you. But can one know everything? Yea, the NSA does. I should become an Orwellian Dystopia.
That's the key to true happiness. Ultimately, Hippies know shit. Where's your dear consciousness expansion at, yo lil' wank stains
Damn! You're not crazy. You are right to have anxiety. This might sound forward of me, but dump this guy. And do it now. His drugs will drag you down along with him. He's keeping his past from you? RED FLAG! RED FLAG! Run.
Joe
@joe.nobel
science fiction, fantasy, erotica
Don't let others break you with their broken pieces. If they aren't offering up the sustainable support network that you need and it is dragging you down than you gotta cut it. If this man was your sister what type of "suck it up buttercup" straight talk would you be feeding her? Why is his crazy any different? Gotta talk about shit in a relationship, you gotta ask questions and be heard.
You are a strong willed independent woman and if your voice, feelings, thoughts aren't heard and considered it is going to drive you nuts. Do you want to feel nuts all the time? Doubt it.
It has just been argument after argument. I don't know if it is dragging me down, but I feel humiliated for the number of times he has been walking away and I had to run after him. I can't do this shit anymore, I am too old for it.
I am much less strong than you think, but I am feeling nuts and it is hard to cut this shit out.
I don't know what to answer on how to deal with anxiety. I have never had anxiety, except these last years when things have been so challenging that the frustration has eaten itself on its way in, bit by bit. Not to sound negative, lol, that is just how it has been.
I still don't know how to handle all at once, and there are so many things that I just cannot control (in a way, that is). Income is one of them, children, one of them with special needs, and yes, all the frustration, but I guess alongside with the challenging times I do get a lot stronger. Those negative feelings at least make me stronger - when I look back upon it now at least. Thank you for talking about this, it helps me as well to deal with these things.
And sorry by the way, after reading the other comments I understand that your hypothesis is no hypothesis - I sincerely hope it will work out well for you. And I don't have any other suggestions than to cut the rope cause it doesn't seem healthy at all. I do however hope that what's best for you works its way into your life <3
I’m not sure about this, but I believe anxiety comes from a lack of strong decisions (sidetracked by misguided expectations). Commitment so to speak.
I know anxiety very well and pondered on it for ages. Always feeling I have to move on. New home, new country, new whatever. As if searching for the place or person will finally be my home.
Now I just came out of a relationship (short but intense) with a narcissistic women. I literally lost every stability in my life. And it took that experience to recognise something essential:
I am here, I’m ok and there is no home other than where I am right now. Now I’ve made decisions with commitment and although things are still at rock bottom, slowly they are turning better.
Probably through the digital age where we just have too many opportunities and the lives of others always seem so fascinating, we tend to always look for something better. New toys, new partners, better sex, sex with multiple people, more money, or more yoga poses … just too much of everything. May it be material, or inner desires. And if we don’t get what we crave for so bitterly we end up being miserable, or finding us in situations, that help us become miserable.
So to me at the moment life is about being here, expecting nothing and living according to my principles (ethics/morals are very important! Being a free individual should not be an excuse to be an asshole). If someone or something comes along; well great! If not – I’ll be fine.
So I believe anxiety comes from expectations that are misguided and take us away from what we are.
Now I don’t know if any of the above makes sense. But I’m drinking tee at the moment, won’t have sex and can’t take a nap, as I have to send out applications for a new job. So just killing a little time :)
It’s great that you chose to live a travelling life. Good luck and take it easy.
PS: If two people meet who are on a constant search, they might just be constantly searching and will never find each other. Alone together so to speak.
I lean more to the sex, coffee then nap. :0)
I think you have good reasons to be anxious. It's a natural thing in that kind of situation. Demand answers, preferably with a blade to hand
On a slightly unrelated note, you look good in purple...skin...
There is more happiness in letting go than in controlling. Let the waves come and ride them to the best of your abilities. Be selective though, not that you shouldn't take risks sometimes, but like they say in French "bon pas con" Be good, but not stupid ;)
That Sunday morning ritual sounds the bomb :D
The best advice is that you won't take, so follow your heart, be honest with yourself.
It is shit when I follow my heart, but my brain goes against it.
When your brain and heart quarrel, go with your gut to break ties.
have you tried the 54321 methord? it really works google it, it was found by a women who was like myself and you who didn't know if she could go in life with how bad hers was.
she found that if she counted backwords 54321 it would take her brain to prosses the information and stop the anxiety.
Ive been using it for 6 months now and feel great to be honest wish i had found it sooner.
you have to practice it for it to start working and put it in motion when you feel the anxiety coming on.
hope this helps you :)
keep thinkin gposative thoughts hope you feel better soon