Besides all this; my result-oriented and controlling character could not internalize the meaning of the process word, could not enjoy the flow, hated the idea of surrender. I was having trouble retraining myself.
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I can only see all this when I look back.
At that time, the issue was that it only learned about the appropriateness to the developmental table, feeding, walking, or everything needed. A part of me was resisting all this and the pressure I had on me, the other part of me could not believe the good in a child and the spontaneity of learning.
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I was the only one who could fill this empty page. I have yet to confront this fact with the fact that I have dealt with this insight for myself and for man.
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