Finally got it right side up!
One year ago, I never would have imagined all that I have gone through since then. I know, that’s a thing people say a lot. I suppose we never imagine what the future holds for us. What’s that Yiddish phrase my Bubbie used to say all the time? Mann tracht un Gott lacht - Man plans, god laughs.
One year ago, my most urgent fear was my upcoming 30th birthday. I woke up every morning depressed that my youth was gradually fading from me and that everything would be so horribly different once the next month came around. It turns out that fear was totally stupid and that nothing changed when I turned 30, and I’m sure nothing will change when I turn 31 either.
I didn’t know what my partner was doing behind my back. As far as I knew, I was in a loving relationship with someone I had never fought with in two whole years of being together. Someone who bought just about everything in my apartment for me even though I begged him not to, who cooked breakfast for me every morning, and was certainly going to plan an elaborate birthday for me. I didn’t know about the abusive nightmare that was going on behind my back. I’ll spare the details, but it’s worse than you’d think by that description alone. I didn’t know about the months of anguish I’d go through, that I’d lose all that weight, and that I’d have to prove to myself in the end that I was stronger than I thought I was.
I didn’t know that I’d adopt a kitten and find another partner who turned out to be amazing (though the absolute last thing I wanted when I met him was to find someone else), that I’d find my two best friends who I hadn’t met yet. I didn’t know that I’d make the choice to exercise every day and get healthy, and eat better, and that I’d be much happier in the end. I thought I was happy back then, but something in the back of my head nagged me that things weren’t quite right. I didn’t know that I’d ever learn to write fiction, or that I’d find this community to share the things I create, or that I’d become interested in crypto and start working for an exchange. I didn’t know that contrary to my fears, the month before I turned 31 would be a thousand times better than the month before I turned 30.
Awwa. This is nice. You never know what will happen in one year. Great use of the prompt!
I blew through 30 without a blink and i'm rounding up on 40 and the only stress I feel is from the outside - like am going to be able to find my value to the others in the world (aka money- which is actually annoying more than anything lol) if I haven't found it yet, or do women really lose their standing in society when they lose their beauty kind of stuff. Getting older is great in many ways ways- for one we get better at who we let into our emotional sphere (even if some of us still need a lot of work haha) and we just learn to enjoy our own company so much more and be our own best friend. You seem like a great person, you're going to love 31 ;)
What an eventful year for you. I'm happy you're in a much netter place this year and I'm glad you have discovered crypto and fiction and freewriters! Awesome write!
So much can happen and change in one year! I am glad that you are in a better space now!