I had a very terrible habit of keeping the wrongs people do to me. I grew up in a very strict family, where you had no right to speak or complain about whatever your parents did to you.
My parents believed strongly that parents had total rights over their kids and as kids, we had no right to make a suggestion or complain.
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Due to my inability to express my displeasure, I had a journal where I wrote down everything my parents did to me that I did not like. I continued to write everything down, making my journal my best friend.
This attitude followed me from childhood until I became an adult, then I got into a relationship with my boyfriend who is now my husband and he got a gift of a fancy journal from his uncle who was based abroad at the time.
Instead of keeping the journal for himself, he gave it to me upon my interest in how beautiful it looked. I started to also document all the offensive things he did to me in that journal.
I didn't miss out on anything he did wrong to me, I made sure the documentation came with a date to back it up and I described clearly how offended I felt.
I was able to hide my journal properly until he came to visit one day. I had stepped out to get something upon sighting the beautiful journal on my shelf, he remembered it was a gift from his uncle and decided to see how I had been using it.
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I got back home that evening and saw so much sadness on his face, he handed the journal to me and said, Tobi, you keep records of all the wrongs I do to you, what happened to all the good things I have done?
He expressed how heartbroken he was and made me see reasons why it was a terrible thing for one to consistently keep records of the wrong done to them by others.
Reminding me about how we had initially resolved all these issues I had written in my journal and how I claimed to have forgiven him, he questioned my intentions for writing them down.
The truth is, anytime I read that journal, it becomes a reminder of the hurt I claimed to have previously forgiven and forgotten.
The good book advises us not to keep a record of wrongs and while I claimed to be a good Christian, I didn't allow that part of the bible to hold waters in my heart.
In the same vein, I realized how much I allowed bitterness and sadness to reign within me, this journal of wrong was something I read frequently reminding myself of how unfair and wicked humans can be particularly those close to me.
After the lengthy discussion, my boyfriend had with me that night, I cried and recounted how it had been a habit I built growing up, we burnt the journal and that was the last time I kept a journal of wrong.
Now, I keep a journal of future goals and plans, a journal for prayer points, a journal for strategies to grow and plan my life and not a journal for sadness.
Hi, I am Tobi, a writer, speaker, relationship blogger, and lover of good music. I love making friends and learning from people.
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Omo...it never crossed my mind to even jot down the wrongs people do to me. Reason being that, since I was young, I've learnt to forgive immediately without hoarding any grudges in me. Writing down the wrong things people do to us, no matter how much we claim to have forgiven them would keep making us feel burdened anytime we open the note. Instead, we should write down the good parts of people, understanding that we all are humans, and we flaw a lot of times.
Great you burnt that journal and started writing down goals and beautiful things that will even keep your mind at peace.
Lovely written and I enjoyed every piece.
My sister, that was a terrible habit that kept me in sadness for a long time. I am grateful for changes and improvement, thank you for taking time to read🥰