Only about 60 pages long, Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie explained to the best of her abilities what true feminism is. Prior to now, I had no idea that someone could take my thoughts for years and compress them into a very readable book. I guess this is why she is a renowned author. She has her way with words.
I read this book earlier today and had to stay away from DMs asking why I was claiming to be a "Feminist" all of a sudden. Fact check, I am not "claiming" to be a feminist. Turns out I am one, I just had no idea. Unlike the author of this book, I haven't been called one to my face. Like I told someone, we can't possibly control the reaction of everyone to the concept of feminism. Like every good thing that started, it has been soiled by both well wishers who misunderstand what it is and those who are just outrightly threatened by change. We only have control over our immediate environment in how we respond to it.
Two years ago, I wrote a piece on gender and how it wasn't a determining factor for a person's strength or weaknesses. It is just gender not a way of life. Back then, I had no idea that what I was doing held strong ties to feminism. Unfortunately, I had a myopic view towards the term and like everyone else, I fed into the societal cycle that always rinsed and repeats. I was always cautious when conversations entered such territory. Today, I did what I always do when processing new information, thoughts or emotions. I retreated. To fully understand something, I take a step back and access every incident leading up to that moment. Finally, after much back and forth, I came to the conclusion that I am a Feminist, only that I am a knowledgeable one. I am a woman alright and I accept all of who I am and my strengths.
I will not bother trying to explain what true Feminism is, but like I told someone, after I was calm enough to reply,
Chimamanda is right when she says we should all be feminist. This isn't a topic we should skittle by or shoot down. It has become the norm to try "talking" to someone who says they are a feminist, become a norm to label them as angry and bitter. I am not saying there are no rotten eggs, but the bad eggs are not the poultry. Find the message and walk with it. That is what I did and pretty much what I do with most convictions and principles in my life.
In conclusion, this isn't a protest like some people have come to my DM to say. I have known this all along. I was just ignorant enough to not see it for what it is. I do know that many people would still twist my words and want to "talk to me" about my newfound insight. That is no problem. Like I said earlier, you can only control what is within. My conviction is all that matters. Best book I have read in the year 2025!
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This is a beautiful reasoning to be honest. It's rather sad how feminism has been painted as the opposite of what it actually is due to ignorance. And it's not just from men, even some women use feminism to defend their unjust rudeness. I love how she emphasized that being a feminist does not make you any less of a woman, ofcourse one can still enjoy being girly, it is just not for validation from men or anyone as a matter of fact.
I have always liked to stay away from calling myself a feminist because it is such a controversial title. And while I still won't call myself one, I do enjoy topics of discussions around femininity. While some people believe "what a man can do, a woman can do better", I believe women should allow themselves be women, but gender (the fact that you're a woman) should neither be a limiting nor a determining factor to a woman's goals, mission, vision, passion or success. A proper feminist understands that every human being, both male and female have both masculine and feminine traits, finding a balance and leaning more naturally to express one is highly important.
I'll definitely check out this book. Thank you for sharing this.
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Well said Coach,very well said. If every "feminist" of this time can think like this instead of directing their energy towards hating and competing with men then this name tag won't be as controversial as it is now,neither will it inspire as much hate as it does now.
This is a very important point, I am delighted to have come across a woman reflecting on this. Information is power and ignorance is what makes constant confrontations end in misunderstandings.
I haven't read the book, although I already downloaded it, but of course we should all be feminists. You are quite right not to go into detail on why, I think everyone who has a real interest in building a harmonious society should delve into these basic concepts, but because of fear, it often slips through our fingers.
Congratulations, this is wonderful. We are not responsible for educating anyone but ourselves and with this we already do a lot for our society. Sending you a hug with all the sorority that it deserves. 👏