Why I Opted Out Of IVF

in #infertility7 years ago

Once upon a time there was a couple who felt invincible, they were young, ambitious and had their future planned out - all sunshine and roses. They got engaged, got married, started a successful business...they did everything right. When they decided to grow their family however, they realised their plans weren't going by the book, something happened.

Allow me to introduce myself. My name is Amie. In 2013, my husband and I were diagnosed with unexplained infertility. This means that there is no medical reason to be found why we can't conceive. We are young, we are healthy. To date we have either been actively trying or "going with the flow" for 7 years. 

(image source: https://www.checkpregnancy.com/family-dollar-pregnancy-test/)

We started our journey to conceive in 2010

The diagnosis was extremely hard to come to terms with. How can you fix something that is UNEXPLAINED? The Drs loaded us with vitamins, hormones and diet plans - all to no avail. We tried acupuncture, Chinese medicines, sperm friendly lubricants, moon cups - you name me, we most likely tried it. I had a bunch of invasive medical investigations done, so did my husband. This was really not the way we planned starting our family - we were invincible right???

In 2014 we did a medicated round of IUI (Intrauterine Insemination). I had to inject myself with hormones for 14 days. During this treatment I produced 8 eggs. We followed the specialists instructions to the tee. IT FAILED. We were devastated, we really thought this would work. We were advised that we could try IUI again, but that each time we tried it the chance of falling pregnant through this treatment would be lessened. Th Dr then suggest that we rather opt for IVF, which has a higher success rate (high my butt)!

"the chance for a healthy women to conceive from IVF treatment is 35%, this percentage decrease with each attempted IVF procedure"

IVF - got to have money in your pocket

We spent the next few weeks, make it months researching IVF. We also spent this time doing research on HOW THE HELL WILL WE AFFORD IT! Our Dr quoted the procedure at R65 000 (about 4900 USD). We could scrape money together from different accounts and sources, but it all seemed so extreme - it was a gamble. It wasn't just the money though. As much as I wanted to be a mother, at that point in time I had lost the energy and stamina required to proceed with more invasive and timed treatments - or perhaps I just couldn't muster up the courage. My husband respected my decision, he was as caring and as understanding as could be!

"IVF WASN'T FOR US"

In 2015 we researched adoption - this on the other hand felt RIGHT! Like it was obvious all along that this is how we were meant to start our family. We started volunteering at a baby home and this is when our hearts really opened up to the idea. So we started the application process. We where very lucky in that we were matched with our son in less than 4 months! Our son is perfect, he completes us, he is meant to BE.

While IVF is an answer to prayers for many - it wasn't for us. While I don't encourage anyone to brush it off as an option, I do hope that you will investigate adoption - I LOVE HOW WE STARTED OUR FAMILY.

End note: To date we are still trying to conceive, but we are extremely casual about it - you never know!We do feel complete though and I don't have any urge to "be pregnant". We will adopt again in the near future, whether I fall pregnant or not. I AM INVINCIBLE - I MADE THINGS HAPPEN!

Much Love - @sweetpea

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Good opted guys.
Nicw to meet you

Thank you for sharing your very personal story. I found it very moving.

It's a pleasure, the journey was difficult but now I can discuss it with ease :) Have a good evening!

Hahahahhaa😅

I always try to find reasons in life...maybe you didn't come to adopt because you couldn't get through with IVF, but rejected the IVF option because there was a little boy that at some point in the future would need a loving family. Something that was meant to happen.

Definitly! As soon as we made the decision to adopt everything fell into place SO smoothly, someone had a bigger plan than us :)

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Nice story.
I was about to go IVF with my wife too, but all of sudden she was pregnant with our first son. That's two years into the marriage.
His sister is unplanned pregnancy, thinking that I had such low quality sperm she might not conceive if we just do casual, unprotected sex, but voila!
So you might get your own biological baby one day. Keep on trying. Keep on being healthy!

Yup that's the plan, to stay healthy and keep on trying with no expectations. We are content with our son so there really is no more pressure, it would be nice if it happened, but ok if it doesn't. Thanks for sharing your story, and congratulations on your two bundles!

Hey Hope you have a kid soon,
We went to the doctors too, we were able to get pregnant but we couldn't keep it due to early miscarriages that happened within 6 weeks. We had about 3 miscarriages the same way. The doctors said everything was fine, swimmers were good. I took fetile blend to increase my count any of these on amazon would work . My wife had a vaginal insert called Endometrin that was prescribed by our fertility doctor and we now have a healthy baby 3 week old

Oh congratulation! You really do just have to persevere, what a journey you and your wife had, so sorry for your losses! We have a son through adoption now, and we are very content. Much love, @sweetpea

that's awesome, yea, after my wife had our son, she suggested adoption, I'm not sure if she wants to go through labor again.

Ha ha, that's quite funny :) thanks for sharing and stopping by!

@sweetpea, I admire the fact that you chose adoption. I wouldn't mind adopting one day... I was diagnosed with unexplained secondary infertility, I know the road too well. Two years after the birth of my son we were ready for another baby. After 5 years of trying and 7 miscarriages we had our rainbow girl naturally. We also didn't want to go the IVF route. She is 19 months now...

I'm so sorry for your losses, I can only imagine the emotional rollercoaster you went through! But well done for persevering, our bodies are such strange things!

What an inspiring story. A statistic came out the other day that fewer babies are being born in todays society. They attributed it to infertility, birth control, and people deciding to forego having children at all. I would love to ask you some questions. Are you on steemit chat

Hi @rina.tours.world of course you can ask questions! I am on chat yes :) thank you for sharing that very interesting fact!

Very touching that you shared your journey, thank you!

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So glad things worked out for you! I'm adopted myself and have the best relationship with my family. My mum always says she was meant to find me.