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I'd like mine made of mahogany. There could be a black market for ones made of poisonwood - could look just like oak. Would be all the rage with disillusioned significant others.

Man hands woman phone still wrapped in cellophane:
"Look honey, I bought you a new phone," and then mutters under his breath evilly Enjoy your new rash.

Nice to see you again, too.

If it was spruce or pine one could simply stick it to the side of their head. So there's that, too. I'm surprised nobody has thought of this yet.

Ha. Yes, could be marketed as "natural adhesive - no chemicals used, just the highest quality fast clotting tree blood!"

Have a happy Christmas. I trust where you are at there is a beautiful Christmas-y blanket of white everywhere.

"My phone is so slow and buggy. I think I need a new one. Damn termites."

And yes it is the ice age again. Snow everywhere. Windy as well. -30 C.

Merry Christmas!

"An ounce of prevention is worth a pound of cure - for only $79.99 get your termite application before they eat right through your contacts!"

I've got my heart set on Montana one of these winters. For a week maybe. I don't think my body would tolerate anymore. Anything after that the locals would just have to throw me into the pile of Floridan tourists turned icicles and shake their heads. Another one - stayed a little too long.

In winter us cold weather people can tell who the warm weather people are just by looking at their clothes and the way they walk. And for some strange reason they think slightly hunching, pushing their shoulders up, and opening their mouths, will somehow make things feel warmer.

Ha, I can see it - I'm going to be very self-conscious the next time I'm in the cold. Maybe they feel like their breath is going to somehow create a warming aura around them. It is the same here but the opposite. You can tell northerners, if not by the accent, by the way they always have sweaters and closed-toed shoes even in the middle of summer. Natives have toes showing 11 months out of the year here :)