I agree that being consistent in your parenting is important if you truly want to set expectations and rules for your kids. You have to "set the bar" so to speak, and keep it raised so your children know what to do. And they know if they don't do what you expect, there will be a punishment involved.
As much as I agree, however, I know that sometimes it's easy to fall out of the consistency. Life takes over and you're just too busy to hold up the rules so you let them bend...and bend...until they are broken and your kids are acting in ways that mortify you!
Thankfully, my husband and I are generally on the same page when it comes to parenting. Though, I sometimes worry I'm harder on them than he would be -- he doesn't step in and tell me I'm overreacting though. He upholds any punishment I dole out, as I do the same with his discipline.
It is so hard to be consistent. I guess I wrote this post as a reminder to myself. Sometimes we need to bend as parents (because we too can be wrong), but we need to learn how to gently but firmly bend the character of our children into whom they will be someday in the future.
My wife and I also agree. That is a tremedous blessing.
I don't like the idea of "bending" your child. I prefer "guiding" with acceptance of who they are and what qualities they have. You can "bend" them out of shape so that they can never recover themselves and what they were supposed to do in their life.
I see your concern with the word "bend." For me, guidance is what happens as we teach our children to use their giftings and skills so that they can become adult versions of themselves. Guidance is how we teach them to love, respect, and care for other people. Guidance requires seeing an example. I desire to be that example for my children.
Maybe a better word for "bend" is correction. Correction indicates that something is wrong and efforts need to be made to get things back on track. Correction still needs to be done in love and with patience.
Even though both are done for the well being of our children, I see this two activities starting at different points. Thanks for your input!
Thank you for clarifying. Well done!