Struggling over self-esteem
I never shared this publicly, but when I was a teenager, I struggled with self-esteem issues. I easily see the flaws in me but not the gifts/positives that I have. This often dampens my spirit resulting to minor to moderate depression. My self-esteem was hitting rock bottom. Well, how could I see the bright side of things, when I was having terrible cystic acne on my face with teeth looking like a rabbit and with a back shaped almost like a "C". The worst of all was, I kept on loathing about these things almost everyday during those years. I was suppressed by the thought that having those makes me less of a teenager, and that I can't do anything about them.
Change from within then outward
I can't exactly recall what happened, but at some of my life, I decided to stop loathing about them. I focused my energy on trying to find things that can mitigate them. With that, I went to a dentist to have my teeth braced. This was the first step, but nothing improved much on the other two areas. It was in my late college years when my acne slowed down (although I still get them once in a while). I can't particularly point out what worked because I tried a lot of facial treatment, ointment and solutions, but I guess it was when I simplified my facial "rituals" when my acne started to tone down. I also stopped worrying about it much, and assured myself that having acne doesn't make me less of a human being. I guess healing happens indeed from the inside that will eventually reflect on the outside.
A continuous battle
Two down. One more to go, and among the three, this one is the toughest because admittedly, even up to this writing, I am still having some difficulty on my back. The problem is I keep on forgetting to straighten it up because I slouch 95% of the time. To tell you the truth, I am still feeling frustrated about it, and I keep asking myself and God why does it have to take a lot of effort to straighten up my back, while others don't even give a fuzz about it, but still always manage to maintain their good posture. Frankly, when I think of this, I still get a little unhappy and envious. However, I can't just always pity myself. I need to do something. Hence, I am writing this blog post to declare publicly that I'll give my best to always remind myself of my posture, and to further reinforce this, I am asking for your help as well (especially if you are a friend, acquaintance or such) to remind me of this when I forget. I believe that with motivation and with your help, I will be successful in "fixing" my back.
I know I may be far from that point of success, but I also know that if I want to reach that destination, I must start now and sustain the effort.
Connect with me
What are your personal struggles? How do you try to address them?
Day 5 of 30
I subjected myself to a 30-day challenge (read more). I wasn't able to fulfill yesterday's tasks, but I tried catching up with a post made earlier.
I am a proud member of @trulaloo, a group that produces quality entertainment content for everyone. Individually, I love to tell stories about travel, food, art and etc. You may want to follow me at @anotsopopularkid. Hope to connect with you!
We have the same problem, low self-esteem and a curved back. I think my back started to curve when I'm hitting the puberty stage because I feel awkward about my breast so I hid them hahahaha this is embarrassing but srsly I feel like I should I hide them and when I'm playing at the computer for hours. It's my habit to slouch and one day my classmates and my mom just randomly ask me to straighten my back I got conscious because there are times where they mock me about my back. Luckily I found this technique to somehow cure that, every morning I lean my back flat on the wall to give me a proper posture and I always remind my self to sit properly but I'm still having a time where I slouch but we'll get through this. Flaws? Beautiflaws hahaha. 😉
I also do the same trick. I even tried buying elastics for the back but it restricts blood flow, and it's very uncomfortable.
Yes, totally we'll get through! Thank you very much for dropping by and sharing your experience as well. :)
I share the same insecurities!!! Often, I become a bit too hard on myself. Others would even say that some have it worse but self-esteem issues aren't something you can just shrug off especially if it's been deeply rooted ever since.
I recall having a handkerchief on hand during highschool just to cover my face when I walk around. This went on up until college. During college, I never left outside without bb cream to cover my face. Heck, even socializing with people was so difficult for me because I didn't want myself to be seen, scared that they might notice my skin or something similar. Everyday was a struggle of trying to pretend I was comfortable in my own skin, up until today. I remember praying for clear skin every single day and even asking my sister to pray with me so that God would hear my wish haha! I've always hated my back too. I'd sometimes stand or sit up straight but I always end up looking like try too hard to have a straight back whenever I would try to correct it. Haha!
As for my back, I eventually got used to it. Some are just blessed to have the ideal bone structure. As for my skin, I'm also starting to get used to going out without make-up on. I've never done it at the office yet (haha) but when I have to fetch food outside the house and during instances wherein it's unlikely to meet someone I know, I can already leave without make-up. (This is already a big improvement for me hahahaha).
Thanks for sharing! I can completely relate to this. Here's to being patient and extra kinder to ourselves! :)
Yes, definitely we just need to realize that the burden we feel is coming mostly from us. We have the bad habit of magnifying flaws on ourselves. I just hope society would help, but it does otherwise -- worsening our self image by promoting an often unrealistic "image of beauty".
I'm glad I was able to go past it, but honestly I still get haunted once in a blue moon, but I'm way better off, and I'm thankful for the One Above for this.
Thanks for sharing @justinezee!