Chapter 6 - The Tragedy
Confused and paralyzed, Lempo’s body followed involuntarily, unable or unwilling to reach for his phone to find out what was happening. The fear on everyone’s face as they entered the SUV made Lempo’s heart palpitate at an alarming rate, making him afraid of asking any questions or even uttering a greeting. There was an urge to reach for his phone again, but the intensity of the moment rid Lempo of this urge.
The mental anguish brought about by his talk with the man and all the curiosity and intimidation from the scene unfolding at this instance left Lempo’s mind scattered and unable to gather any coherent thoughts. Knowing there was something dreadful waiting ahead made Lempo afraid of the moment when the truck would arrive at the destination. A sudden rush would fill Lempo every time the truck made a turn or a stop.
Not able to know exactly what was happening, Lempo presumed, from the tense faces around him, that something terrible had happened. Whatever it was, he felt deep down that it would affect him, but he did not even want to imagine what it could be.
The tension in Lempo increased when the SUV pulled into the parking lot of a hospital. As soon as Lempo saw the big letters of the well-known hospital, he knew that whatever happened, it was ten times worse than what he thought. The only time people rushed to a hospital were during times of tragedy.
Suddenly the fear and curiosity Lempo felt grew as the SUV pulled into a parking space and all the passengers jumped out; Lempo’s mental sight was slowly becoming obscured by a fog of terror. Walking reluctantly down the parking lot, Lempo felt an urge to reach for his phone yet again, so he could find out what had happened and why he was brought to the hospital. Reaching for his phone, he felt a soft grip at his forearm and the voice of Kintoon’s mom say, “It’ll be better if you find out when we get inside.”
Lempo slightly nodded in acknowledgment and continued to walk while at the same time wondering how she knew that he still didn’t have a clue about what happened.
The moment the three of them entered the hospital, Lempo finally demanded, “What is happening? Why did you bring me here? Did someone get hurt? And who is asking for Kintoon? Is it Frela, did something happen to Frela?”
Kintoon silently nodded as tears began to run down his face.
“What happened?”
Kintoon forced his words out, “She overdosed; they found her sprawled on the floor with a needle in her arm and heroin next to her.”
Before anything else could be said, Kintoon’s mom said, “You can go in and see her now. Lempo come wait with me, you can go in after him.”
“Yeah, I’ll go in with Eflen.”
When Lempo mentioned Eflen, Kintoon and his mother gave each other a mournful stare. Kintoon entered the hospital room as Lempo hurried to the lobby, saying, “I better go console Eflen, she must be devastated; Frela is her best friend.” Kintoon’s mom hurried to catch Lempo, but it was too late, he was already in the lobby calling out to Eflen and looking around amongst the heartbroken classmates and parents who were already there.
“Eflen! Eflen! Where are you? Do you know where Eflen is?” Lempo asked a fellow schoolmate, who just looked down not saying anything. “Hey, do you know where Eflen’s at? Does she know what happened?” Lempo asked the next person. Nobody was looking at Lempo in the face, they all just turned their eyes to the floor. “Why is everyone ignoring me?”
Kintoon’s mom caught up to Lempo at last and said, “Please come with me.”
“I’m sorry, I guess I am making too much of a commotion. Obviously no one’s answering because Eflen asked to be left alone.”
“Follow me,” whispered Kintoon’s mom as she led the way to a smaller lobby. Lempo followed as he glanced around noticing that everyone was avoiding eye contact with him. As they entered the other lobby, the few people in there shuffled as fast as they could out of there.
Looking around, Lempo said, “Eflen’s not in here.”
“I know,” said Kintoon’s mom with eyes full of tears.
“Then why’d you bring me in here. What’s happening, where’s Eflen?”
“She overdosed as well.”
“How bad did she get hurt? Why didn’t you tell me when you first saw me? Take me to her now.”
“I’m sorry Lempo, but she didn’t make it. She died before the paramedics arrived.”
As he heard these words, Lempo felt himself getting lighter and nauseated. His throat got tighter and tears swelled from his eyes. His world had come to a halt and it all felt like a dream; he tried forcing himself to wake up, but this was all too real. At a loss for words, Lempo forced some out, saying, “This can’t be. I messaged her earlier today. She, she was ok.”
Kintoon’s mom embraced Lempo with the love and compassion only a mother can share. For the next few minutes they both wailed in each other’s arms.
The rest of the day was a haze, as if living in a wakeful dream with your stream of consciousness fading in and out. Throughout the blur of the day, Lempo had found out from Frela that she had been using heroin for a while; using it to help with her depression. Lempo’s girlfriend Eflen was messaging Frela about her own depression and how she found it hard to continue existing, so Frela invited her over, so they could both talk about their depression. At first Eflen didn’t want to use the heroin, but Frela convinced her saying it would help make her depression go away. Apparently the batch Frela bought was too strong or pure. As they both stuck the needle in their arms injecting the heroin, the effects of the bad batch were immediately apparent on Eflen first. Frela only had enough time to call for help before she also succumbed to her own overdose.
As Lempo walked into his house, both his mom and dad remained silent, not knowing how to console their heartbroken son. Wanting to believe it was all a dream, Lempo did not use his phone and just threw it on his dresser. He couldn’t bear to see his beloved Eflen’s picture right know, which is the main reason he didn’t want to use his phone. He assumed pictures of Eflen were being sent back and forth on social media right now, most likely by people who didn’t even know who she really was or even cared about her. Did he even know who she was? How could he not see she was depressed to the point of not wanting to live? Why had she not told him anything? He should have done more to help her; maybe the man from the laundromat was right, he should’ve spent more time with her, instead of having a phone/digital relationship. Yeah, he had brought her around for family gatherings and gone with her to the movies and things like that, but had he really spent any quality time getting to know her? Does anybody spend any time getting to know one another anymore?
The darkness of the room engulfed Lempo. His mind was entering a place where not even fear could be found. Lempo began to rave in his mind, “With everything that happened today, my worst fear has been realized. The world is more cruel and lonely than I thought. Everything we love and care for will be ripped out of our hands; there is no compassion in the way of the world. This is a world which feeds on our misery and despair. It rejoices when we come to the realization of how lonely we truly are.”
“The things we think bring us happiness are really only numbing our pain and misery. Nothing in this world can save us from our miserable existence on this pointless, dark world. In our misery we are drawn to things that will bring our destruction, things such as drugs, alcohol, and prescription pills.”
“I find no reason to live anymore; I would end it all right now if it weren’t for my longing to see my beloved’s face one more time. After Eflen’s funeral there will be nothing stopping me from finally leaving this cruel world. I don’t see how everyone hasn’t realized that their attempts to grasp happiness are all done in vain. They are holding on to broken branches trying to make themselves believe there is a purpose to their world. That misery and despair they feel when they’re alone at night will never leave them, this despair is their true nature and will always be, no matter how hard they try to find happiness. The only thing beyond this misery is death, so maybe since death is unknown to everyone; they prefer what they do know, which is perpetual misery, rather than having to face the unknown. But this does not make sense, the only reasonable conclusion is that people are ignorant of the fact that they will never find happiness and live their miserable lives being deceived by a cruel world. This world dangles the fleeting dream of happiness in its many forms in front of our faces, but only us few realize this deception.”
He finally blurted out, “I will not be deceived by the fleeting dreams of this world any longer and will overcome its deception with my death.”
Saying those last words, Lempo began to sleep, comforted with his decision to finally rid himself of the misery that clouded his existence. Knowing that his pain will be no more very soon, Lempo slept better than he ever had before this moment.
The following day Lempo refused to talk with anyone, of course he was grief-stricken, but he remained silent more so because he was afraid that he would let slip his intentions. He didn’t know how he was going to end it all, but there were many options open, especially since pain did not scare him. He thought, “I’ve lived with pain my entire life, what’s a little more.”
After they ate and got ready, Lempo and his parents went to the funeral home. As Lempo walked into the sobbing-filled room where the lifeless body of his beloved Eflen lay, he ignored the greetings and walked straight for the grieving parents huddled together. Laying his hand on Eflen’s mom’s shoulder, he said, “I’m so sorry for not giving you my condolences sooner.”
“We understand,” she responded, “We know how much you cared for her. I know this was as much a shock for you as it was for us.”
“Yes.”
“Would you like to have a moment alone with her? We’ll make sure no one disturbs you.”
“Yes, I’d like that very much. Thank you.”
His legs feeling like jelly, Lempo walked inch by inch in agony toward the white casket. Forcing himself not to collapse, he made it to the beautiful, sleeping face of his beloved Eflen. Immediately tears filled his eyes and cascaded down his face. He knew everyone’s eyes were upon him, but he didn’t care. The only thing that mattered was this moment beside the girl he loved. He stared at her in her entirety and saw an innocent, beautiful, young girl. He leaned his face in closer and now his tears filled her still face. He whispered, “I remember when I first saw you, laughing and having a good time with your friends. You were full of life, your joy radiated to all corners; how did it come to this? Were you as lonely and scared as I am? Were you full of pain and misery like me? Of course you were, but your beautiful, innocent face could mask all your pain. We are born into misery and depart in our misery. Now at least I know you are not suffering anymore. Thank you for opening the door to my liberation from this misery.” With this he gave her one last kiss and headed for the door.
Lempo was planning to leave his parents behind while they stayed for the rest of the service. He was going to go home to write his departing letter and then, at last, rid himself of his misery. Before Lempo could reach the door, Eflen’s mom stopped him saying, “Lempo, are you leaving so soon? Please stay, it would mean a lot to us if you stayed to the end.”
Lempo thought for a moment, not wanting his plans to be ruined. She touched his shoulder and gave him a teary-eyed look and insisted, “Please.”
Fighting against himself, he said, “Okay.”
“Thank you.”
Lempo sat in the back, away from everyone, and did not take his eyes away from the casket. As people got up to give their eulogy or say a few words about Eflen, Lempo just sat and heard it with anger.
“She was a good friend, I’ll never forget her.”
In Lempo’s mind, “You rarely ever talked to her, the most you did as a friend was like her posts and pictures and made short comments on them every once in a while. You forget every one of your boyfriends in less than a week after you break up with them, how are you going to remember Eflen, who you barely knew.”
“She was a very sweet person, with a smile that would light up the room. She loved to make people laugh; she was always there when you needed her. She was one of my very best friends. I wish I could’ve helped her. I don’t know why she never told me about her problems, I feel so helpless.” The girl broke out in a fit of tears and had to be escorted away.
In Lempo’s mind, “How were you going to help her if every time I saw you and Eflen together, you were too busy on your phone, not paying any attention when Eflen was talking? Every once in a while you would nod your head and say ‘uhuh’ or ‘yeah’ or ‘that’s awesome’. Maybe she did tell you about her problems, but you, like everyone else including me, were too self-centered, occupied in your phone life to pay attention to her cries for help. What do you base your best friend status with her, because you ate on the same table as her in the school cafeteria, even though you spent most of your time on the phone; maybe you went with her to the mall or the movies, but also spent most of the time there on the phone as well; or do you base it off the amount of time you and her communicated on social media. Whatever you base your friendship on, I know that you knew nothing intimate about her.”
Both parents went up together. Eflen’s father spoke first, “I still remember the days when I used to hold her little body in my arms and rock her back and forth until she would lull to sleep. I could watch her for hours, sleeping peacefully, knowing she was safe in my arms. When she learned to walk, she would keep us busy chasing after her for hours. She was our little explorer, her little feet wanted to go everywhere. Eventually she realized she was daddy’s little girl and knew that if she cried or ignored me long enough, she would get anything she wanted. Everywhere I went, she wanted to go along; she was my princess, my everything. And then she grew up and little by little she became more independent, wanting to spend all her time on her phone or with her friends. I don’t know where I went wrong, or what I could’ve done to make her happy, like when she was little.” He had to stop to keep himself together.
As the mom cried, Lempo thought, “It’s not that she stopped wanting to be with you, she told me that you were barely at home, trying to move up the economic ladder and your job. You were the one that cared more about your career than your family life. You would get home too tired from work to do anything with your daughter, so she found temporary comfort in her phone. But a phone cannot replace a father’s comfort, I know this personally. You gave her everything she wanted materially, but not what she wanted most, which was to spend time with you.”
The mom tried to say something, but she could not stop crying. Eventually, the dad had to hold her close and walk her to their seats.
As Lempo saw the mom crying uncontrollably, he thought, “So now you express how much you loved your daughter, after she’s dead. Because while she lived you cared more about your job and going out with your husband or your girlfriends than you did about spending time with your daughter. Just like your husband, you put your career first and then your kid; you thought material things were enough to keep her happy. Instead of spending time with Eflen, you preferred to go out and drink with your friends. Eflen never felt like you showed her any love and now that it’s too late, you are showing it. In my eyes, you’re a hypocrite. When did your husband or you ever take the time to cook a meal and sit together as a family to eat, instead you would leave her leftovers from when you went out to eat with friends or left frozen foods for her to microwave and eat all alone while you and your husband were out working long hours or enjoying your ‘personal’ time. You disgust me with this show of affection; you should’ve showed Eflen this affection when she was alive, not dead. I know you loved her because you’re her mother, but you should’ve shown it while it mattered.
Eflen’s father came to Lempo saying, “We would like it if you rode with us to the church and after the service, walk with us to cemetery.”
“Okay,” Lempo responded, wanting to show respect for Eflen’s sake.