Not at all interested in going to bed early even though I woke up earlier today. I wanna wake up early, but I don't want to go to bed early. I wanna watch Naruto Ship until I feel really drowsy. This waking up early business is too hard man. Considering the current situation, it feels pointless to wake up to the same stuff:
- the same incompetence
- the same place
- the same confusions & uncertainties; that, doing anything that makes you feel good is just a distraction from the real issues of feeling like crap within.
All these days I've been listening to J Krishnamurti's talks, but it just feels like I'd been jogging in the same spot; exhausted, but remained in the same place. Heck, even that would've been more beneficial than my endeavor.
Feels like I'm stuck in Izanagi. Spoiler for Naruto viewers
Alright, maybe I figured it. And it circles back to why I started this series. Maybe the images I'm creating about how doing something would feel, is completely different from how it will feel. Maybe I'm feeling like crap because I'm not doing the things I don't want to do.
So the problem is I'm living inside my head, instead of life?