One of the things I did most with my grandmother in the last years of her life was to spend time with her, something that perhaps would be quite normal for someone already aged and with a strong illness. The truth is that with my grandmother this was something very strange and different, since throughout her life she developed quite a strong character and at the most she always wanted to be alone. She did not like visitors very much, and when she saw us coming to her house she would immediately send us to play somewhere else that was not close to where she was. She was not a sad or bitter person, but simply enjoyed being alone and in complete peace and quiet.
But suddenly the illness came, and surprisingly my grandmother changed her attitude. Now she was quite the opposite, to the point that if she saw us passing in front of her house she would ask us to come in and stay for a while. She would even give us money to buy something in the bodega so we could stay with her and talk about anything. If she went one or more days without seeing us, she would send us to call an acquaintance or neighbor who passed in front of the house, since due to her illness she could not go out to walk on her own. One of my aunts took over her care and attention for a long time, but still my grandmother wanted others to visit her and talk to her.
Una de las cosas que más hice con mi abuela en los últimos años de su vida fue pasar tiempo con ella, algo que quizás sería bastante normal para alguien ya envejecido y con una fuerte enfermedad. Lo cierto es que con mi abuela esto fue algo muy extraño y diferente, ya que durante toda su vida ella desarrolló un carácter bastante fuerte y en el mayor de los casos siempre deseaba estar sola. No le gustaban mucho las visitas, y cuando nos veía llegar a su casa enseguida nos mandaba a jugar a otro lado que no fuera cerca de donde ella estaba. No era una persona triste ni amargada, sino que simplemente disfrutaba estar sola y en completa tranquilidad.
Pero de pronto la enfermedad llegó, y sorpresivamente mi abuela cambió su actitud. Ahora era todo lo contrario, al punto que si nos veía pasar frente a su casa nos pedía que pasáramos y nos quedaramos un rato. Incluso nos daba dinero para comprar algo en la bodega y así quedarnos con ella hablando sobre cualquier cosa. Si pasaba uno o más días sin vernos nos mandaba a llamar con algún conocido o vecino que pasara frente a la casa, ya que debido a su enfermedad ella no podía salir a caminar por su propia cuenta. Una de mis tías se encargó de su cuidado y atención durante mucho tiempo, pero aún así mi abuela deseaba que otros más fueran a visitarla y hablar con ella.
Every afternoon I used to pass by her house, and for more than two hours I would stay with her. Between jokes, memories and anecdotes I seemed to see another person, I felt as if I was now meeting my grandmother for real. Sometimes she would express her wish to be able to regain her health and do things she never dared to do in the past, but she understood that this was something that would not happen. Even so, our conversations were mostly quite cheerful and lively, so much so that when it was time to go home she always asked me to stay a little longer. My grandmother truly cherished the time we spent together.
As the months went by her illness accelerated, and she was hospitalized for several days at times. At that point my grandmother could not speak, and could not move of her own volition. I remember that on a couple of occasions I had to take care of her at night, and although she could not answer me, what I did was to read her a magazine that she always liked, one that talked about a life in a world without illness, pain or death. I could not really be sure if she was listening to me or not, but what I did know was that she was aware of my presence during all that time.
Todas las tardes yo solía pasar por su casa, y por más de dos horas me quedaba junto a ella. Entre chistes, recuerdos y anécdotas me parecía ver a otra persona, me sentía como si ahora estuviera conociendo a mi abuela de verdad. A veces, ella manifestaba su deseo de poder recobrar su salud y hacer cosas que en el pasado nunca se atrevió, pero ella comprendía que aquello era algo que no iba a pasar. Aún así, nuestras conversaciones en su mayoría eran bastante alegres y animadas, a tal punto que a la hora de regresar a casa ella siempre pedía que me quedara un rato más. Realmente mi abuela valoraba con cariño el tiempo que pasábamos juntos.
Con el pasar de los meses su enfermedad se aceleró, y en ocasiones estuvo hospitalizada por varios días. Ya en ese punto mi abuela no hablaba, y no se podía mover por voluntad propia. Recuerdo que en un par de ocasiones me tocó cuidarla de noche, y aunque no me podía responder yo lo que hacía era leerle una revista que siempre le gustaba, una en donde se habla de una vida en un mundo sin enfermedad, ni dolor ni muerte. Realmente yo no podía asegurar si me estaba escuchando o no, pero lo que si sabía era que ella estaba consciente de mi presencia durante todo ese tiempo.
Sometimes things are not as good as they end, and although old age is an inevitable stage in our lives, through it we realize what is truly valuable to us. As young people we underestimate or take for granted something as valuable and special as time, and suddenly we feel trapped in a reality that brings us to that natural essence of not wanting to give up. It is as if on a long journey, you suddenly have to stop and stay while others follow, resigning yourself to the sad scene of a goodbye in which you don't want to be on this side or the other. Now we do not have an indefinite time to appreciate our life and that of others, so it is in our hands to give value to every second we have and that we can share with someone else.
It is never too late to let that person know that his or her existence has even more value than it had some time ago, and if today illness or negative circumstances loom in his or her sight, let us not extinguish that flame of life that still lingers in the heart. Remember that quality does not depend on quantity, so let us always be willing to give based on what we have and not on what we wish we had to give. A detail, a word, a small gesture of love can be the greatest and most significant gift that we can share with those people who in experience and experiences surpass us, and therefore we are in the beautiful commitment to reciprocate with the best we can give, a space of time with a sincere and deep feeling that surely they will never forget.
A veces las cosas no son tan buenas como terminan, y aunque la vejez es una etapa inevitable en nuestra vida, a través de ella nos damos cuenta de lo que verdaderamente tiene valor para nosotros. Como jóvenes subestimamos o damos por sentado algo tan valioso y especial como el tiempo, y de pronto nos sentimos atrapados en una realidad que nos trae a esa esencia natural de no querer renunciar. Es como si en un largo viaje, de pronto debas parar y quedarte mientras otros siguen, resignandote a la triste escena de un adiós en el cual no quieres estar ni en este lado ni en el otro. Ahora no tenemos un tiempo indefinido para apreciar nuestra vida y la de otros, así que está en nuestras manos darle la valía a cada segundo que tenemos y que podemos compartir con alguien más.
Nunca es tarde para hacerle saber a esa persona que su existencia tiene incluso más valor que tuvo hace un tiempo atrás, y si hoy las enfermedades o las circunstancias negativas asoman a su vista, no dejemos apagar esa llama de vida que aún persiste en el corazón. Recuerda que la calidad no depende de la cantidad, así que siempre estemos dispuestos a dar en base a lo que tenemos y no en lo que deseamos tener para dar. Un detalle, una palabra, un pequeño gesto de amor puede ser el regalo más grande y más significativo que podemos compartir con esas personas que en experiencia y vivencias nos superan, y por lo tanto estamos en el hermoso compromiso de corresponder con lo mejor que podemos dar, un espacio de tiempo con un sincero y profundo sentimiento que de seguro jamás olvidarán ❤️
Thank you for giving value to this publication with your time and attention.
See you soon.
Gracias por darle valor a esta publicación con tu tiempo y atención.
Hasta pronto.
I agree with you that it's our sole responsibility to take good care of our elderly family members because in the future, it's going to be our own turn, then we will definitely need others to respond to us.
I enjoyed with joy and rapture a beautiful life story of a grandson who loved his grandmother, without conditioning or demands, always giving his understanding and love. The years, depending on the experiences, wear away, imprinting in their own way what has been lived and experienced. However, affection is kind in its magic and transformation.
I understand very well what you express, I lived it very well. Grandparents are the cuddly affection that does not respect limits, they are a potpourri of expressive values, and inspiration, but also courage and bravery.
Thank you for participating assiduously in our calls, contributing with reflexive understanding in the discursive theme. Health and well-being !LUV !HUG !PIZZA
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The years wear down the physical, but at the same time they enhance what we can live and share from the heart with someone else ❤️
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Pleased with you for sharing through these topics in this community 🤗❤️
Whenever I hear or read people say they don't owe their parents anything, I cringe. Because why won't you owe someone who sacrificed a better part of their life to give you yours? Why won't you owe them kindness, love, time and attention? Especially at their most vulnerable state of aging? Well I'm glad that there are still people out there who care for their aging ones and that's enough to make me sleep well at night.