You got your Lotto tickets on for tonight?
My mate Daz raised a pint of beer appreciatively at me as he said this and clinked it to my pint.
I took a deep slurp of the amber nectar, it was a fine pint. I couldn't remember the name of it as I was already three sheets to the wind as we had been out for several hours already. I had a vague recollection of the Beer Pump having a picture of a Robber's dog on it.
Or had the barmaid that had served me looked like a robber's dog? I had no fucking idea.
I dragged myself back to the matter at hand and let out a contented sigh. It wasn't often that we escaped to the pub these days.
The lottery? Nah mate, I haven't put a ticket on. Can't be fucked with it.
I waved a hand dismissively to the side narrowly missing chopping a bystander in half with the mighty blade of my palm.
Seriously?! Seriously?! But what if you win? You've got to be in it to win it?!
Daz looked aghast at my non-lottery playing antics.
Ach mate, you know I don't believe in all that stuff. I would rather make my own luck than waste my life waiting for lotto lightning to strike.
I nodded contemplatively, it was good to be having such a deep philosophical discussion powered by the thinking juice. Somehow it felt right. Like when you are little and have that recurring nightmare where you are being chased down the street by giant vaginas and your mum wakes you up to see if you are ok just before they catch you
They catch you in the end though.
I muttered forlornly to myself before finishing my pint.
Shall we have another?
I swirled the dregs in my glass like a Portuguese man making custard.
Already on it, mate.
And sure enough, like some kind of rogueish smuggler with a heart of gold, Daz plopped down another couple of pints.
I narrowed my eyes. Was that the sixth one? I hoped it was because everything seemed a little wonky and that just simply would not do on only five pints.
Tonight is going to be the big one, I can feel it in my water.
Daz pursed his lips and made a noise like a disapproving sea.
If I win I am going to go mental. Big house, Fancy car, you name it. Fuck it. I am going to have a big room full to the fucking brim with Pot Noodles! RAAR!
Daz roared at the ceiling as if challenging the gods to end him now or face his wrath.
A room full of fucking what now?
I made a phlegmy harrumphing noise of distaste.
Pot Noodles man, wall-to-wall fucking Pot Noodles. Every flavour but one wall will just be Chicken and Mushroom. That's my favourite.
He looked dreamily into the distance as if he were already padding naked through his roomful of Pot Noodles, stroking each and everyone in turn like the Gladiator in that fucking cornfield at the end.
Pot Noodles? Pot fucking Noodles?? Are you mental? You would have millions of bucks and you would have a room full of the cheapest shittiest unhealthiest snack in the world?!?
I shook my head. He couldn't really mean he would fill a room with Pot Noodles? And even if he did, Chicken and Mushroom? Yuk, everyone knew that if you had to eat a Pot Noodle then it could only be a Bombay Bad Boy one.
On nights like this I would probably go home and put six of them in a big pot and eat them all in a massive bowl... Mmm mmm.
Daz stumbled slightly despite standing still and leaning on the bar.
The barmaid with the face like a robber's dog looked over at him suspiciously.
I put my pint half finished on the bar and eyed him speculatively.
Six pot noodles at once. That's your idea of heaven?
I shook my head and chuckled at the very idea.
Aye man. Big fucking vat of them. Nom nom.
He started sliding downward into a heap and I leapt forward and pulled him up.
Right you, come on. Let's get you home and tell you what, I will buy you six fucking pot noodles and you can feast like a king when you get in.
I hauled his arm over my shoulder and we attempted the perilous journey through the choppy waters of the pub.
Yer a fucking saint, Boomy. A fucking Saint.
Daz slurred and hiccupped all at once.
I just nodded and patted him reassuringly.
I know I am mate. I know I am.
Plenty of lottery winners are broke within five years. Noodle addiction might be the leading cause. Feeding the tigers gets expensive as well. The band that plays music while you shit has to eat. Hookers and blow. Helicopter pads. Paying the pilot extra just to say, "Get to the Choppa!" like Arnold every time you have to go somewhere like the yacht that has a pool on the roof so you can swim on your way to the island to bug the lizards and drink canned gourmet coconut water produced locally in the factory there which you also own because you just can't get a good coconut water these days unless you make it yourself. Every color of flip flops. Batteries for all the remotes...
OMG. I now have to get a helicopter and a pilot just so I can continually shout Get to the CHOPPA!
I wouldn't presume to ever win enough to be able to get all of the batteries for the remotes. That is wild. I dont think the world could turn at that speed.
Do Tigers eat noodles? That would happily solve that conundrum, There would be noodles for all. Maybe fill the swimming pool with them? The noodle stroke would take on a whole new meaning
You can just do that shout for free but it's way cooler when you're wearing expensive furs and a grill while holding a hyena back with a gold chain so it doesn't run into the spinny parts on the back of the choppa.
And yeah tigers eat noodles but really they're only intestines. Just don't tell the tiger and they won't know the difference.
Filling the pool with noodles. It's common. That's where the whole idea of pool noodles comes from. I don't recommend eating those foams ones though. Kinda chewy.
I just tried the shout and lo and behold I was amazed when a horde of people dressed straight as if they waltzed off a Mad Max move ran up to me and started hustling me toward a big fan that I keep in my room for the summer months.
So now I have seven more mouths to feed and the worst of it is is that I didn't win or even play the damn lotto.
Those foamy noodles. They might not be edible but have you noticed how many people have actually tried judging by the bite marks
Yeah, I know those people. Ate all my cereal and left. Didn't even rinse the bowls and I think one shit in the ducts because every time the furnace cuts in you have to open a window. Hired a cat to go down there and investigate but she hasn't returned yet. Been hearing a lot of scratching and complaining so maybe the shit is just baked on or something. Only been a week though so I'll give it more time. I'm not hard to work for. Very patient. "Take your time and do it right the first time."
And yeah I noticed those marks. Pretty sure it's because they made that stupid rule about not eating before swimming. Those people aren't floating out there dude. Starving to death.
Good job they never shat in your cereal as you would never know.
Cats are funny but shrewd, Isuspect you will be hearing from that cat pretty soon. Its what cats do.
You think if you were floating and starving you would eat the sea, hasn't it got plankton in it. If you just drank pints and pints and pints of it surely you could filter out all those good nutrients. Of course you would have to enema-ise the water first to purify the salt out but that's a small price to pay for some shrimp
I actually prefer my seafood salted. And especially if there's no garlic butter available. Gotta have some seasoning. Plus salty things make me thirsty anyway. Seems like one could be fairly efficient out there lost at sea. Like floating along the smorgasbord.
I would rather make my own luck as well, since I believe that the result of any lottery is controlled by the companies or states :)
It totally is! It's a scam almost! There is more chance of being struck by lightning than there is of winning!
I feel that it's just another way of 'taxing' poor people and it's addictive too.
Lotteries are very popular, here in Portugal. People practically buy tickets with their beer ( while having a beer or wine, in the bar ).
I also learnt that buying lottery tickets strengthens your 'scarcity' mindset as you clearly don't believe that you can get rich/ create abundance by yourself.
Yeah, there are many things wrong with the whole shebang and it is marketed to appeal to those what if it is me feelings.
But a tax on the poor is what it is as they are the ones funneling all their spare cash into tickets for it. I told my brother who was moaning about being skint that he would be loaded if he stopped spending £20 on lotto tickets every week and sometimes more!
Although next time I am having a beer in the sun I might buy a scratchcard and see what the gambly gambly drinky drink life is like! lol
Your mate sounds like a 'Pot' head.
This made me laugh, even though I am not 100% a Portuguese man, just a man who has lived in Portugal for over 5 years now.
Loved/laughed over that Gladiator comment too haha!
Hahaha!! A Pot Head! Love it!
Them portugese love those tarts! :OD I have never had one, I must try one to see if they are all that they are cracked up to be!
I am not a big sugar fan - it makes me hyper and itchy, often gives me headaches - so I don't eat those pastries (bolos/pasteis/doces) often.
I guess every country needs to try something to turn people into addicts.
In Portugal it's sugar and alcohol that can be found in abundance and for cheap.
I wonder how the diabetes numbers are around here.
Everyone will be too drunk and high on sugar to check the levels of the population!
Alas only sugar is cheap here, everything else costs a fortune. It is becoming a hard country to live in
That was my favorite too
I never buy loto tickets, but that doesn't stop me from imagining what I would do if I won! Pot noodles are not included in my dreams.
I have oft imagined that kind of thing too. I handily skip out the how I would win part and I too certainly dont include the noodling in those imaginings! 😀😀
What the ever loving fuck. You're advertising Pot Noodles... I'm really starting to think maybe they're a great idea.. but no actual pot in them... that's just a rip-off
I can imagine the field day they would have if they legalised pot over here. It would be REAL pot noodles! :OD
I've made REAL pot noodles by adding canna-butter to cooked spaghetti... delicious
Ha, I never even thought of that. I've only ever had brownies and yogurts!
Brownies are for rookies. Thats the first thing pothead make
True, I never progressed much poast the smoking part!
I'll eat a edible about once a year
Hi @meesterboom ,I'm a little late to your post, so I wish you a happy Easter.
Man, I feel very grateful to you, I woke up a little sensitive and I had to say it, I know you don't like me saying this but THANK YOU
You're welcome 😀 and happy easter dude 😀
I couldn't stop laughing when you said pot noodles like literally you're going to win millions and noodles? Damn, I'm a big fan of noodles but first thing I'm gonna do is what Daz was planning !LOL
Tell me you're trying to stay low-key after winning that jackpot 😂😂😂
I never believed in lottery but I fell for it first time just about yesterday got this coupon for lucky draw
I know I'm not going to be one of the winners.. wonder if these things are even real or just staged.
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I hope you do win!! I am a sucker for a draw or a competition and can rarely resist but the big government lotteries I dont bother as I see them as a sneaky tax on the desperate!
I love noodles myself and even a pot noodle now and then but dang, if I won the lottery I would be paying for a private chef to make me my meals! :OD
hope so, people spend a lot on these government lotteries haven't seen someone making it from it.. very rare cases though now it seems like memecoins are the lottery with more chance people betting on.
Haha, A private chef that would be Awesome. Now wen we talked about noodles I'm Going to make some, !LOLZ.
I bought some meme-coins the other day as even tho they are absolute rubbish with no use cases they do seem to be the ones that are pumping!
I might be having some lunch noodles myself!
Great, they're doing good nowadays and will go parabolic in this bull run.. let's see!
Awesome, have a Great day.
If they go parabolic they are getting sold straight away!!
yea, memecoins doing memecoins thing.
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People who have good luck get such good prizes in such lotteries that their life changes now the way ideas are there coins are found and they are 12 13 thousand percent going up.
Fingers crossed for my many millions of shit coins then 😀😀
It worked back in 2017!
Good night on the town, pot noodles not quite style vs greasy egg and bacon sandwich. Lotto's are all worked/jinxed in favour of a few! Legless homeward bound!
They are so blatantly fixed in favour of of making someone a lot of money!
Packaging more appealing than the flavouring.... 😂
That's how they get lured in!
Marketing! 🙃
Buying lotto tickets scares me a lot cos I don’t want to waste my money since I know I can’t win but at the same time, I may end up being a very lucky person
Exactly. Put the money elsewhere and even at the end of a year you would be amazed at what you had!
🤣🤣 Boom the king of similes!
Nothing makes me happier!! 🤣🤣
This, my friend, should have been a Still Game episode! Jesus this was hilarious. BTW, what are Pot Noodles? Are they like ramen? Oh and that was a premonition, they always do get you in the end. Lol.
Hehe, they are like ramen but just really bad and cheap ones that sort of arrived on our shores before we ever even heard of ramen so they are pumped up to the gills with nonsense additives!
Still Game worthy is a fine accolade! :OD
We have something similar here in the US. They're really cheap ramen, you can get a brick of eight of them for $2 or something. I used to eat two packages at once when I was a teen! That's like 3000mg of sodium I think plus God knows what else. I'm still working my way through the SG eps, I ration them out like celebratory sips of a fine scotch. : )
I was exactly the same. At one point I swear that was all I ate. I invented a noodle diet in my naivety about food and lost a ton of weight by eating little else but noodles. God knows the salty damage I was doing to myself!
Hehe, the best ones are all before there was a big gap when they decided not to do it any more. It was still funny when they eventually reconvened but never quite as on the button funny. I blame them actually getting old!
All that salt probably had your metabolism working twice as fast! Lol. It's crazy how resilient you are when you're young. I would eat all that sodium and it wouldn't phase me. If even have salted popcorn now my heart beats like a drum.
I think I'm still on Season 4 and will probably start watching them again when I finish. There was talk about them reviving the show again. They probably wouldn't need any makeup now, the actors are probably close to the age of the characters.
I think you might be right on the salt front. I still have the occasional ramen packet but I totally feel it after I do!
One of them, Winston starts in my area as I sometimes see him about. It's surprising how young(ISH) they are! Only season 4, tonnes left!
I've learned some of the "old man's secrets". Now I use just about 1/3rd of the seasoning packet. I hate that I can't have pickles anymore without my heart racing.
That's amazing. He's probably pretty much set for life after that series and all of the residuals. Yes! I'm really rationing them. I'll have to double check Netflix, I might be a bit beyond S4 now come to think of it.
Hehe! That's always the feeling that comes when lottery is involved even when you know that the company will twist the luck not to favor you 😂
I would rather make my own luck as well, nothing serious in finding luck in lottery. They might end up taking the little luck you have😂 so it's better to create my own luck
If you make your own then it is yours! The problem is getting the right ingredients and perfecting the recipe, lol!
Lol! You gotta try over and over again with different ingredients to get it right. Otherwise you sell luck
Hahaha, yes indeed. You have the right of it!
Lotto tickets? Hehe. I don't believe in that shit. You'll just keep playing while hoping for a miracle, but get your hope sliced in hot soup and thrown on your face.
This part got me giggling. Hehe, this one, the Good Lady let you out. You decided to paint the town with alcohol🤣.
Also, your friend is one big baby. Get him those pot noodles and let him release his wrath on them.
I painted the town red for a very short amount of time it seemed. Not like the old days when it was half the night and dawn was coming up by the time I got home! :OD
Haha... that's interesting 😂. Yeah, responsibilities have a way of bringing out the good part 😉.
HEhe, well that is one way of looking at it! I suppose I am healthier for it!
Hehe, you sure are 😉
:OD
Everyone wishes to win millions through lotteries even here in my country 😁 noodles? That's out of the question. You have got a great sense of humor I must say. Take care and have a great day ahead 💕
Thank you! I think we would all love to win the millions I just dont see it happening with the National Lotteries. We must find another way! :OD
I am a little partial to the 'Spare Rib' flavour, though I know they are loaded with shit we shouldn't be eating.
'a robber's dog?', must be a Scottish term that's not made it south... yet!
It's always Bombay Bad Boys for me, just for the genuine hot spice level!
Heh heh, ah yes, a robbers dog. I think it might be Scottish, quite popular! 😀
Those soups have gotten me out of trouble lol, but you really have to work, effort, to get what you want I believe in that azar (Chance).
The lottery is like peeing out of the pot lol nothing easy. But since they fly, they fly and with several beers in your head, dreaming that you earn it doesn't cost anything.
Ánd you are a good friend, that's how I perceive you.
I was a dashed good friend to him that night! Got him hone nice and safe and noodly!
The lottery is a terrible thing. I hate it even though I love a gamble in other ways!
I also like to gamble, whenever possible, I love going to horse races for example, among other things
It's been a while since I've been to the racing but I am quite fond of that too!!
At the racetrack, sir, especially if your favorite horse is running, it's enjoyable. As soon as I can go to see a good horse race, you take your wife, I assure her that it will be fun and with a lot of healthy adrenaline
If we can get a baby sitter I will! Not much happening till summer tho. The ground is terrible till it's drier!
I understand, well, write it down on the agenda for when the weather is getting better and the season is the best, it's my wish.
Hahah well I have insta noodles in my Landie for quick lunches but always tarnish them with better quality stock, greens if I have em, a bit of fresh chilli... GOR-MET.
Hmmm.... A room full of mangoes would do me (for a few days) and then... Hmmm... I can't even think of what I'd fill a room with?!?
Fresh chillies! Thats what I would fill a room with! Well, maybe a small cupboard!
I always add chillies and some greens tomy noodles, makes me think I am being good :OD
"thinking juice"..... that made me laugh.
Now were are those noodles???
😂
You do get the maddest thoughts when drinking! Obviously most of them are shite 🤣🤣
.... and if you get a brilliant one by accident, you know, the kind that would make you millions, well, that would be the on you forget after.
It's just the way the world works !
I wonder if Wonky Elon came up with his whacky ideas whilst on the sauce 😀😀
oh.... I thought you were going to say "whilst on the turlet"....ahahahaha.... I think I'm right.
Haha, well that is also true. Some of the greatest ideas ever must have originated there!
Hi Boomy!
When I get home I also have to treat myself to an evening at the pub with a friend and liters of beer!
However I agree that it is better to make your own luck than to bet on a lottery ticket, I have never liked games where you have a one in a million chance of winning.
However, it is strange that sometimes, despite having a lot of money, the desires you would like to realize are simple or limited, after all they say that happiness lies in the little things.
Of course, however, I had never seen wanting Noodles in industrial quantities as a desire, your friend really stupid me!
Long live beer and noodles!
I hope you will delight me soon with another fantastic story of yours.
I hug you my friend!
There is nothing better than a bet after work or a long day I would defo say. It truly is the little things that count. Perhaps not the noodles though 🤣🤣
Well you can certainly find something better than noodles.
Then here in Italy we say that there is no shortage of stuff to eat, we currently live in Rome so I would say that we could replace the noodles with a good pasta carbonara
some fried artichokes
and some excellent meatballs with sauce!
I attach photos to help you understand what we're talking about ;-)
Oh I understand with our without the pics. I love Italian food and spaghetti or similar pasta with meatballs is one of my faves!!
I'm starving for them now!!
Carbonara is made with egg, bacon, pepper and pecorino romano and as a starter, spaghetti but also paper pasta are fine.
In my homeland, Calabria, pasta with sauce and meatballs is made every Sunday; Here it's not Sunday without meatballs!
That sounds bloody magic!! I want Italian Sundays!!
When you want to come and visit us, our house is always open!
It would be a nice holiday to take, then in Reggio Calabria we have a beautiful sea but the mountains are also fantastic, there are so many things to do to have a nice holiday.
Even if for me the beautiful holiday is total idleness, eating, drinking and sleeping.
This is glorious. From the nightmare of being chased by vaginas and them catching you in the end, to the awesome fellow Daz. I know he said big house, cars, etc. But including instant noodles in that list is just incredible. He could do the room full of it without winning the lottery. I hope you got him those 6 Pot Noodles in the end.
I did get him them!! I don't think he ate them that night though!!
That's what I found most funny, he could buy a stack of them without winning a lottery. He just needs to sort out his priorities!!
And oh yes, they get you in the end!! 🤣🤣
I respect him for that though. He knows how to enjoy the little things.
There is something to be said for knowing what you like and being unashamed of that
Geez you're so right about that lottery. Here one reached a billion which one person won last night and another drawing tonight for some 800 million. That is a grotesque amount of money, but seeing's how the dollars are worth so little these days it shouldn't be as much of a surprise lol. I don't play either and consider myself damned smart the morning after a 'drawing' when I still have my two dollars in my pocket lol. Hope Daz didn't pass out neck deep in his noodles!
A billion!! Hot damn, that's an outrageous amount of money.
I do a thing with the folk in my work where we have a bonus ball number and pay in a tenner a month and I'd it is drawn the holder of that number gets the money. The odds of that are quite good. It's my favourite gamble!
Giving cash to the guvment each week beyond my taxes can go sing!!
Oh the odds sound much better in your work game. At least you just have to get one number and not five or six. Yea, the gubment can piss off on 'voluntary taxes'.
The guy who runs it puts ourlt some stats each year and for the last two years I have been 'up' with my winnings. Woohoo!! 😀😀
I used to play the lottery in a work syndicate. Once had £150 share of a prize, but probably spent more. In the years I haven't played it I must have saved a lot more. Of course there's a chance of winning, but you're more likely to be struck by lightning. Some places it gets crazy with $Billion prizes. That's enough to fuck up your life. A couple of million can buy you a house and all the cars you need. I'm not that aspirational when it comes to material goods.
As for Pot Noodles, I don't think I've ever had one. Now, Cuppa-soups are a different matter. I do like those, but it has to be Batchelors. Not that I would want a vault full of them. Each to their own...
Really?! You have never had a pot noodle? And you are definitely British? That is the most outrageous thing I have ever heard! :OD
Its the fact that you have more chance of being struck by lightning that gets me. Once I read that I was done. Although, I must confess I still enter in a synidicate in work. It feels like it increases the chances somewhat!
I've never had a Big Mac either and I did used to eat meat. Plus I don't drink tea. I may actually be an alien or something.
These days I buy $HIVE instead of lottery tickets. It's also a gamble, but I think the odds of coming out ahead are better.
I can join you in that one, I have never had abig mac either. The whole concept of Mickey D's always disgusted me.
Hive is the thinking mans gamble!
Personally I'd rather spend some time researching crypto projects, and put that money into something that's likely to work instead of taking a chance that I'll win a lottery.
Noodles are his idea of luxury? Why is this guy even interested in getting rich? He sounds like he's pretty happy with his life the way it is.
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Haha, I know. The noodles part totally threw me. I would have been happier hearing about lambos and exotic stays in far off locations and even property talk, but noodles. Sheesh!
Actually seems like he's pretty happy. That's not a bad thing, being satisfied with what we have. Can't get simpler than noodles!
!PIZZA !ALIVE !LOL
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Happiness is the thing. We all want it but often don't get it so yeah, maybe his target ain't so bad!
#hive #posh
And what did you think? that I wasn't going to stop by? hahaha... I've had a bit of a time crunch... but here I am.
You are a great friend.
By the way, how many beers can you stand without getting dizzy?
What would you want a lottery ticket with the amount of BTC you have in your crypt!
(a Cuban making custard, I just made one!)
Nah that’s just too much bad vibes
Lottery winning not a real thing for me though
And over pot noodles 😂😂😂😂😂
I'm here to provide a community service to Hive, it's members and their friends. If he quits doing a tenner a week on the lottery and saves it in an old Irn Bru bottle, after just 2 years he'll have enough for a flight to Thailand and a room for a week where he can live his lottery dream and even have a few quid leftover to chuck a fair maiden into the bath of noodles...
Not sure we have chicken and mushroom though but Tom Yam kung or crem de sum yung boi might be just as enjoyable.
Let's raise a pot to Daz and his lottery winning lifestyle without even needing to play.
Cheers. My work here is complete :-)
$PIZZA slices delivered:
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