A little over a week ago I was sitting in a camp chair next to my perennially dirty and dead-bug-bespeckled Subaru, Yolo McFukitol, somewhere in the woods overlooking Buena Vista, Colorado.
I'd set up my tent and speedeaten a couple of organic grass-fed free-range chicken-flavored Ramens for dinner a couple hours earlier, and was whiling away the rest of the evening by hurling insults and stones at any and all bluejays within range, and ripping my way through various Discord servers while an IV bag of white dog whiskey dripped itself into a vein in my right arm.
Inevitably I crash-landed in the dCity server, where I discovered several citizens in the midst of an animated conversation on the topic of marketing and awareness opportunities. I manage multiple dCities as a side hustle, so of course I'm interested in raising awareness for the game, and as such I had no choice but to insert myself into the fray:
A good first step would be for all of us to just start walking around wearing dCity tshirts
hats, bumper stickers, etc
I'd totally throw a dCity bumper sticker on my car
Shortly thereafter, dCitizen @summertooth replied with this:
Ye gods!
Are you meaning to tell me, that there have existed dCity stickers this whole time, and I didn't know about it?
So stunned and joyful was I to hear this news, that I sprang up out of my camp chair, tore the IV needle out of my arm, shotgunned the rest of the bag, slapped a Scooter album into YMF's ancient aftermarket CD player, jumped up on his patina-fied hood, and started shuffle dancing to Nessaja as a full blue moon rose to the west and werewolves in every direction began howling in time with the beat. I was well on my way into Weekend! when suddenly:
🎵 Discord DM notification sound 🎶
What's this now?
It's @summertooth in my DMs,
telling me, that…
folks aren't interested?
Well apparently I ain't like those folks,
because I'm interested!
Hell yes I want one!
And guess what…
I got one!
Box photo #1. Looks to be about 12" x 6" x 4".
Box photo #2. What a good lookin' box we got here. Can't wait to get inside.
There we go. Box: opened!
What's this, another box? And a custom handwritten note?? Someone sure went all in on this one!
dCity Mail Dept. Special Delivery
Yo Brandt!
dCity rules!
but you know that already :)
ENJOY
Cheers
@summertooth
Now, to unbox box #2!
Well what do you know! I request a sticker, yet you send me a mug!
A mugful of stickers!
Let's get one of those thrown on Yolo McFukitol's rooftop cargo box, STAT!
There we go,
now we're talking!
Just when I thought my little Subie couldn't get any sexier!
All it needed was a little dCity swag!
I went to dcity once to buy dbeer but dstore was closed. I say to ddoor I say, "What dmatter in dair why you guys not open for?" And day say it's dholiday so I ask dem I say, "Why for you guys in dair den?"
You went all dway to dcity and dstore was a'closed? Shiver me dtimbers! I bet day was jist all in dair drinkin dbeer demselves what with it bein dholiday an all! Dem guys shore is damn drude for shore!
I tells dem I says on dphone later, "Get dlife!"
You really dtold them for shore! Day coulda at dleast offerred to dshare one a dem dbeers with you!
Day left dwives at dhome...
Well dnow, but aren't that dwhere for dwives is supposed to be, at dhome makin dfood?
Dats how you get dshot.
Lol
Something dfunny here?
I've never been there but it looks like you won, congratulations, package deliverers are good to know. Each sticker is +5 horsies under the hoody.
Win I did. Never knew that thing about the stickers and horsies, sounds like it should be the title to Cormac McCarthy's next novel. Check out dCity sometime, it's an awesome passive income game.
Hell yes, it made unscathed! That's quite the story @otherbrandt and I was immediately sad when I read this:
But that sadness disappeared with the next six words :D
Cheers my friend.
Can't be wasting whiskey now can we! Thanks for stopping by 🍻
Goddammit why do you keep sticking shit to my car without asking.
Because I know it annoys you. Go suck a dick @brandt