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planetross (32)in #humor • 7 years ago
Snow (2)
Shoveling snow is like gardening … sometimes a bumper crops up.
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planetross (32)in #humor • 7 years ago
Bigfoot
I almost hit Bigfoot with my van ... it was a near myth.
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planetross (32)in #humor • 7 years ago
Side Effects
. A side effect of a side effect must be a “besides effect”. .
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planetross (32)in #humor • 7 years ago
Google
Have you ever “Googled” your name? No, me neither. ... I’m sure if you did, there would be a bunch of cool stuff about … a bunch of people with the same name as yours, people…
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planetross (32)in #humor • 7 years ago
Candles
All lit candles smell the same to me, … they have a singed eyebrows sort of odor.
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planetross (32)in #humor • 7 years ago
Mickey Mouse
When I see costumed characters, I am aware that there is a person in the costume sweating away and doing a job. I think most adults share this awareness. But at Disney Parks…
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planetross (32)in #humor • 7 years ago
Snowman Poetry (2)
The problem with fish and deer is you never know how many are near.
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planetross (32)in #humor • 7 years ago
The Will
Someone left me something in their Will, but I don’t understand what it is. It’s an incoheritance!
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planetross (32)in #humor • 7 years ago
Brain
My brain is like a vending machine: sometimes things don't come out ... so I have to shake it a bit.
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planetross (32)in #humor • 7 years ago
Snowman Poetry
I saw a snowman in a box. I think that he was dead. I couldn't bury him in the ground. I'll wait for Spring instead.
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planetross (32)in #humor • 7 years ago
The Edge
I like living on the edge … or maybe it’s just the periphery.
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planetross (32)in #humor • 7 years ago
Icicles
An icicle will last just as long at 35°C as it does at 0°C. ... I eat them pretty fast.
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planetross (32)in #humor • 7 years ago
You should have been there
When the plane lost both engines, all the passengers and crew put on parachutes and escaped unharmed. It was miraculous that there were just enough parachutes for everyone.…
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planetross (32)in #humor • 7 years ago
What are you good at?
Most people really excel at something. I’m pretty good at traffic lights.
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planetross (32)in #humor • 7 years ago
Feeling Foolish
I felt really foolish sitting in the dentist’s chair with the pink paper bib around my neck … especially when they told me I wasn’t going to get a discount for bringing my own.
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planetross (32)in #humor • 7 years ago
Technically (2)
Technically, when you are wearing 2 different socks, ...it’s the same as wearing one different sock really.
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planetross (32)in #humor • 7 years ago
Bananas
It's actually quite difficult to slip on a banana peel. I never find one in my size ... or the right occasion.
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planetross (32)in #humor • 7 years ago
Why?
. Why does a little piece of food at the back of your throat make you gag like crazy, … but a piece of lettuce on your tooth can just sit there all day unnoticed? .
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planetross (32)in #humor • 7 years ago
Sides
When people start choosing sides, it's probably best to choose the blindside … because people never expect that!
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planetross (32)in #humor • 7 years ago
Wishes
I wish I were an elephant. I forget why.
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