PostsCommentsPayoutsscan-jour (52)in #satire • 6 years agoFeminist mathematicians feel that Archimedes’ law is patriarchal and should be interpreted as a living formulaPlacing less emphasis on the intentions of Archimedes at the time, feminist mathematicians at the University of Uppsala are saying in a recent paper that they feel Archimedes’…scan-jour (52)in #satire • 6 years agoSocialist gives up food for the right to foodCaracas, Venezuela: Sacrificing food for what he considers the most basic human right - the right to food - Swedish socialist Jon Svensson decided to move and permanently…scan-jour (52)in #satire • 6 years agoOpen-carry weapon policy in Longyearbyen must lead to really high murder ratesThe fact that people can freely own and openly carry weapons in the arctic town of Longyearbyen, Svalbard must be leading to a lot of homicides, a research team at the University…scan-jour (52)in #satire • 6 years agoBear worried about macros after poor blueberry harvestA Norwegian bear has gotten increasingly worried over the last few months about potential mineral deficiencies it might get following the record-dry Nordic summer this year…scan-jour (52)in #satire • 6 years agoSweden bans influencing the election ahead of upcoming electionOnly days before the national election in Sweden, the Swedish government has decided to ban all attempts to influence the outcome. All videos, advertisements and arguments…scan-jour (52)in #satire • 6 years agoVery attractive driver must have been prevented from knowing the speed limit by circumstances beyond her controlThe driver stopped at 4:01pm at a speed control outside of Danish town Aarhus yesterday, going 30 km/h over the speed limit, had such an incredibly glowing and charming face…scan-jour (52)in #satire • 7 years agoBitcoin agrees to briefly go back up to 20k just one last time to let Robert who didn’t get out in time get out in timeThe Bitcoin market has mercifully agreed to go up again one last time to accommodate Robert Grønnevik from Norway, who didn’t get the opportunity to sell at the top when the…scan-jour (52)in #satire • 7 years agoGuy on the street wearing only his underwear must be having a bad dreamErik Jenssen (23) found himself in the strangest and most uncomfortable of situations yesterday, suddenly walking in the city center of Copenhagen in only his underwear, brutally…scan-jour (52)in #funny • 7 years agoPhD candidate in Lesbian Poetry reluctantly accepts $300k grant as she abandons life-long goal of starting her own businessDanish PhD candidate Anna Jepsen (31) was left with mixed feelings as she finally made the decision to put away her plans of opening a business in the lesbian poetry analysis…scan-jour (52)in #satire • 7 years agoSweden will offer financial therapy to children who identify as richIn a ruling last week, a Swedish court affirmed that children under 18 do have the right to financial therapy if they identify as rich. The decision has been regarded as a…scan-jour (52)in #funny • 7 years agoSwedish Football Association intervenes in divisive game resultsInstead of focusing on what separates football teams, the Swedish Football Association SvFF said in a press release this week that it will escalate its work on achieving full…scan-jour (52)in #news • 7 years agoEveryone dead as Trump’s presidency reaches 1-year anniversaryAs Donald Trump’s presidency of the United States is reaching its one year anniversary, everyone is now dead as a result, multiple sources could confirm to the Scandinavian…scan-jour (52)in #bitcoin • 7 years ago..scan-jour (52)in #politics • 7 years agoDanish PM Lars L. Rasmussen expected to declare Norwegian Declaration of Dependence after 204 years of separationAs sympathies for Catalonia’s right to secession are growing stronger, things in Scandinavia are taking a different turn. Last week, the Danish parliament amended its…scan-jour (52)in #equality • 7 years agoSweden passes universal basic sex lawThe Swedish parliament passed a law securing its citizens universal basic sex earlier this week. The law secures each citizen’s right to at least 5 intercourses every month.…scan-jour (52)in #satire • 7 years agoParts of the world actually implode as 16-year-old guy hears his own voice on tapeVast parts of Umeå and adjacent areas in Northern Sweden actually imploded as 16-year-old Göran Skeppstedt heard his own voice on tape last Monday. Göran’s desire to disappear…scan-jour (52)in #news • 7 years agoNo biological difference between humans, sociological study findsOSLO, NORWAY: In a meta analysis published this month, of 12,000 PhD sociology theses worldwide, a group of sociology professors at the University of Oslo have found that there…scan-jour (52)in #life • 7 years agoModerate amounts of dust left untouched as accumulation of cables prevents vacuum cleaner full access to floorOslo, Norway: Conducting his monthly duty of cleaning a part of the apartment, roommate and student Jens Erik Follestad (24) didn’t quite clean the entire living room as cables…scan-jour (52)in #news • 7 years agoSatire organizations who struggle to get their ends meet identify reality as biggest threat to their continued existenceReality attacking existence of satire industry. Following a period of rising political and cultural tension across the West, satire organizations are reporting a dramatic…scan-jour (52)in #life • 7 years agoGod imposes self-restrictions to fight off creeping sense of nihilismHaving enjoyed the exuberant feeling of being omniscient and omnipotent for at least 14 billion years, God finally decided to put certain limits on himself earlier this week. In…