How the LDS church authorities use "Perspecticide" to manipulate their members.

Perspecticide, according to psychology researcher and author Lisa Aronson Fontes, is the "incapacity to know what you know".

As an ex-Mormon, I cannot help but smile about the definition Fontes gave for perspecticide, since many LDS members share their testimonies in church, saying that they KNOW the church is true, they KNOW that Joseph Smith was a true prophet and that they KNOW president Thomas S. Monson is a true prophet today.

They believe that they can know these things without proof. They believe this with all their hearts, because the church told them the story and they believed it. They prayed about it and felt a warm feeling in their hearts and now they know for sure.
As an ex-Mormon, I can clearly see perspecticide taking place within the LDS church system. It is like an abusive relationship. Members think they know what they think they know, they love the church and its leaders like you would love a father, but upon deeper investigation, one can clearly see that their minds have been manipulated by this system and even worse, that this system is abusive.

“In an abusive or controlling relationship, over time the dominating partner changes how the victim thinks,” Fontes said.

From my experience as an ex-Mormon, I have had a massive change in my worldview and thinking since I left Mormonism.

As a Mormon I was conditioned to believe that homosexuality, sex outside of marriage, drinking alcohol, smoking, taking drugs and even drinking coffee or tea is sinful.

In fact, so many things were sinful that living became a burden. I could not wait for this life to be over. I had a great big weight on my shoulders and lost my zest for life. It was as if I was being squashed into a weeny little box that I could barely fit into.

I now no longer see any of these things as sinful including homosexuality. I now see homosexuality for what it is, a preference in one’s physiological make-up. Just like some men will find the idea of being romantic with other men repulsive, in the same way homosexual men find being romantic with women repulsive. It is like preferring a hot bath on a winters morning over a cold shower. You would not want to put yourself through that discomfort. Your body will and mind goes against it.

I was very young when my family joined the LDS church, so I grew up with this way of thinking, because I was taught what to believe. They taught me what sin was and what “good” choices were. For a new convert it can be different, that perhaps they had no problem with homosexuality in the past, but the church eventually persuades them to think about it differently, to the point where they will then see homosexuality as sinful. The church dominates in this relationship and defines what is sinful and what not. Just like an abusive partner defines what love is.

Fontes explains that the abuser defines what love is. The abuser defines what is appropriate in terms of monitoring the partner. The abuser defines what is wrong with the victim, and what he or she needs to do to change it.

In this case, when someone decides to become a member of the LDS church, they must do it on the church’s terms. The new member will have to stop smoking or drinking alcohol and change their wardrobe to be modest. The new member will have to dedicate themselves to obeying every commandment set by God (or the church). The church decides when members go to church, not leaving it open to members to fit it into their schedules, but dictating a set time and expecting member’s obedience to be there and to serve diligently.

Fontes says that victims of abusive partners get blamed for things that are not their fault, or did not even do.

In the LDS church system, leaders often have interviews with members about their lives, especially the youth. They must answer very personal questions sometimes that relate to their sexual conduct, like masturbation. Masturbation is a sin in the LDS church, even if it is viewed as totally normal and sometimes even as essential in the outside world.

These youths must answer honestly to these questions, to not lie to God. Many admit that they masturbate and then the church blames them for their lack of self-control. They get humiliated through punishments that expose their lack of adherence to "God's commandments".

Homosexuals in the church get blamed for committing a sin, when it really is not their fault and they never committed or intended to commit any sin. This strips youth of their self-worth and self-esteem and the freedom to be who they truly are and to embrace their physiology.

The victims in these relationships often become isolated from friends and family to keep the abuser happy.

LDS members are often called on by leaders of the church to avoid family and friends who will not accept their doctrines and teachings. That they need to keep an “eternal” perspective and focus on the life hereafter. LDS members put the church first in this regard and avoid contact with those who do not agree with them, many times ascribing their distancing themselves as an avoidance of contention, because contention is of the devil. Which is usually a way for them to just silence someone with an opposing view.

Fontes explains that the way these victims see the world can also completely change, because it may be dangerous for them to know the truth. The victim loses sense of their own ideas, goals, and thoughts. They start taking on the perspective of their manipulating partner.

LDS members find it hard to believe in Evolution or the Big Bang theory, because if contradicts their Adam and Eve creation story from the Bible or their Pearl of Great Price. If they change their view on the creation story, it would disprove the truthfulness of what they believe, which in turn would be a danger to their faith and testimony.

Fontes said that perspecticide causes people to give up their own opinions, religious affiliations, views of friends and their goals in life, in a nefarious one-sided way.

If anyone tries to impose on the LDS believe system they will be met with contempt and would be avoided at all cost. No rational or logical view will make them see anything other than what has been fed to them by the church. They dismiss any views against the church, no matter who they are from or how logical and factual it may be.

This could place them on Satan's or the world's (enemy) side of the equation. They would do anything to stay away from that side, since they have been warned about it repeatedly. That becoming “apostate” (not agreeing with the prophets) would be the one thing that will keep them from God's kingdom. The LDS members lose themselves and their rationality to the demands of the church for the promise of entering God's kingdom.

According to Fontes, the victim is "trauma-bonded" to the partner, because of their bouts of kindness and warmth and the victim want to make them happy, taking on any punishment as deserving of it.

The LDS church always preach and teach of love. The leaders show immense love and talk in soft, kind and loving voices to everyone to portray an absolute image of love. They speak of ways to show more love and kindness and tell stories about their own experiences or acts of love and kindness. Warm, fuzzy stories that make your heart burst with love. This is perhaps the one thing that will make any LDS members deny anything other than the good that is taught within the church and they will flat out deny any forms of injustice, even if it hits them in the face. If you bring up an injustice in the church, the members will defend the church and blame will be given to the victim of being deserving of the punishment. That somehow the victim broke the rules.

In most of the abusive cases that Fontes documented, the abusive partner would manipulate and lie to the victim, about the power they have over the victim, like knowing things about the victim they cannot explain. Making the abuser seem more powerful than the victim.

In the LDS church, many of the historical facts and doctrines have been hidden from members to deceive them into believing that the authorities have always been good men, called of God, to run the church. Their authority is successive and dependant on them actively serving in the highest positions within the church over many years. These authorities hide everything that may pose questions to their true authority and make sure that members do not go to outside sources to get information about the church, putting negative labels on those who have exposed them, like "anti-Mormon", "apostate", "influenced by Satan", "the enemy", etc. They often emphasise that they are special witnesses of Christ, making the members think they have seen God or Jesus and have more power and authority than any other member in the church.

Fontes explains that, “A person who is being coercively controlled — even without physical violence — does not feel free to live their own life on their own terms,”.

Even as a devout member and one who was often told and believed how the church is a plan of happiness and how truly happy the church can make people, I felt like a prisoner. I was never truly happy, because I was not free to live my own life, on my own terms. I often felt that I had very little time to do things in comparison to people outside of the church, because I was always busy serving the church in some way or another.

As an ex-Mormon, I can see so many signs that LDS authorities are using perspecticide on their members to manipulate them into believing them and in making them obedient servants. It is an abusive system that exploits the freedom of vulnerable and good-hearted people. One I wish to see coming to an end.