Here is what I see, friend. You seem tired. Not physically - but mentally. I wish for you to see the good things. You have vision to see such sights, a capable healthy body to carry your will and walk when you command, a phone and place to vent where I listen - and thank you for sharing your state of mind. I had this state of mind too - at points in my life past and sometimes still unexpectedly.
The key is to immediately realize that you are the one who lets emotion change you to feel this way. Breath deeply and feel your diaphragm expand - and slowly feel your lungs exhale. Repeat this and it will be habit. You will overcome this not because you'll never feel pain again - but because you become stronger to grow from it - bringing yourself back to the moment you are now - as you read this.