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6 years ago in #addiction by rok-sivante (77)
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I wish my vote was worth something so i could give you something. Reading this has made me feel a little less alone, one of the beauties of this online world.
Just as the wise elders of medicine tribes have identified social isolation and a sense of lack of belonging in strong community as the core root of addiction, I found myself sitting right in the middle of that truth
I too have an addictive personality, and have drawn similar conclusions to your self about why that is. The biggest distortion i have over come was a 17 year battle with Bulimia, which started at the age of 11 and finally came to an end at the age of 28. How i didn't die and made it through relatively unscathed i honestly have no idea. I have a few minor complaints as a result of it but i'm so lucky that im not incredibly fucked up physically.
It was my escapism, the binge episodes took my mind off thinking, and the purge episodes emptied all the pain, some weird thing set in my head where i would temporarily feel relief from the excruciating sense of isolation when my stomach didn't even have any bile in it, my head would be dizzy, my body would feel weak, i would lie on the bed and have a temporary moment of peace.
From about 23-28 i would say i was starting to turn a corner, the episodes got less frequent. One day almost 2 years ago i just decided that's it, I have to stop. I had told my self that 100's of times, and I don't know what made that decision stick, maybe meeting my boyfriend, finally finding someone who i can relate to on a level i had not encountered my entire life, but i also started smoking a lot of cannabis too, maybe it was both. I potentially swapped one bad habit for another, but it's only recently i made that connection, it's only very recently i've looked at my self and thought shit, im smoking this pretty much every day. However, i think it's a good thing, it broke that cycle and is far less detrimental to my health- maybe that's denial talking.
Over the last month or so i've cut that down to 2 or 3 nights a week, which is most likely why im struggling a little more with the depression. Your 5-HTP advice came at a good time, i didn't manage to find some in town, so i've ordered it online.
I feel somewhat better about life in general but i still carry all those same feelings of isolation etc, one reason i have turned to blogging. I have been on Steemit just over a week, and it has helped, i have read some amazing posts and connected with some really insightful people. But yes, the paradox- I have spent hours a day on here, i have to be mindful of my self.
I am slowly figuring out better ways to deal with things, but the flip side to this also is- What is normal? Who decided what was an addiction level and what was not? and who were the subjects? Your every day joe who does not expand their thinking a great deal more than their basic conditioning? Going to work, watching TV, going to the pub on the weekend? Smoking or drinking x amount for that person may be a problematic level based on, i dont know, levels of stress they were displaying. But for other's such as many people here, smoking cannabis or drinking 2 or 3 times a week when your brain output is 4 times that (just an example) of the 'normal' may not be a problem. Maybe it's necessary? I am not saying that this is what i actually think, just something i have pondered, what level are we striving for, who set it?
Ancients from all sorts of cultures used plant medicines, it was an integral part of many of their cultures, maybe one part of the problem is that we've been denied these medicines, i even read something recently which points as Jesus being an avid mushroom user. Maybe our sickness is that we are disconnected not only from each other but nature and the universe too. Do plant medicines connect you briefly to that?
And Remind you that you're not alone, just in a temporary physical body. I am feeling like i may get a lot of hate for this post. Oh well. I dont think they would be something intended for daily use, here lies the 'problem' when using them recreationally, they weren't designed for that. But it would seem that they were integral in older civilisations, and look at some of the things they accomplished which we cannot replicate today.
I want to try ayahuasca some day, it will be a long time before i will be able to financially do that, but it's on my bucket list. I hope it helps you on your journey :)
Awesome post.
Mmmm... I think that question might be best answered in this story of my last ayahuasca experience - if not directly, definitely weaved in between the lines.
Your mind (outdated programming) playing tricks on you.
Anyone who would hate on this post does not belong on this blog. I’ve ensured to make the rules for this digital space of mine clear, such that anyone would have been quickly put in their place and repelled.
Such sharing are welcome and appreciated here. And you have my word, that if anyone would ever express any sort of hate towards such a genuine sharing, I would 100% have your back and lay into them hard, throwing their bullshit right back in their face.
I understand where such fears would come from - trauma - though assure you, this is a safe space for such open sharing.
Maybe, maybe not.
I have a friend in Florida who has done with a ‘shaman’ (not traditionally trained, but legit) who refuses to charge anything for his offerings.
There is always the possibility of crossing paths with someone like that, removing the financial barrier.
Where do you live? Perhaps I could even see if there’d be any chance he may be travelling near you and make a connection...
Thank you, that comment put a fat smile across my face. Absolutely I've had so many negative reactions to things i have tried to talk about, i am just expecting a back lash. Ill get there, i got onto Steemit. But thanks, it does really mean a lot to know other people will have your back, and ill try and keep what you said in mind, if i am writing on like minded blogs, it's not likely to be full of people who do not relate to what's being discussed. I learned the hard way that Facebook was not the place for expanded thinking.
Im going to make some tea and read the link you've given me ! Im based in England Uk, so if he's ever over here the UK is small enough that it's easy to travel virtually anywhere in it! ha.
Or maybe a bit down the line when i am on my feet a flight to Florida wouldn't be an extremely difficult thing to save for. I will keep this is mind. :)
I just realised how stupid i sounded then, he wouldn't come over here with a suitcase full of ayahuasca! ha. It just dropped when i was making my tea! But, that said, someone like that would be someone i would like to meet anyway if for some reason he was.
Ive always been drawn to your music when I see it, and now this. I wrote this exact same post (only I still smoke weed and dont drink much) last week. Pretty much exactly sorta. I relate. A lot. I found a 6 week mostly away from here break helped, but then I just came back.
Call it addiction, if you will. But that night, I saw/felt it clearly: the hit I was looking for was that which I've found in meaningful interactions. Be it a few short words, or a longer, thoughtful dialogue. I've been extremely hungry for deep, human relation.
Ive spent 6 years living in remote isolated conditions by myself. Now Im in a new city but know no-one here at all, so I am still isolated and remote and spend eons at the keyboard for social human touch. Im not sure that is good, but Im not sure its bad either. Im in a very similar headspace to this post.
Mine is past payout, but please take a look, you may find the bit toward the end, useful in this case, to consider. Where I broke down what I think may be the real importance of things here, hint, it's not important.
[my similar post]
Jeezus, that post is great. Definitely some parallels...
I saw em too. :) Yours was a visceral read.
I think, this requires a very loud shout to encourage people to realize this. I'm really interested in what is written here. It seems that this will be more coherent when comparing it to what Albert Eisntein once said:
Holy shiiiiit, that is a great quote! Lol.
👏thanks sir...
Back!
After a long period of partial absent from steemit due to academic hustles, now i am back to steemit full time but guess what? Only to be graced by a tantalizing article from @rok-sivante someone who i regard with high esteem for his vasertility in knowledge.
It really feels good to be back and i must say i am adddicted to steemit. Even during my partial absence, i still couldnt but hop and daily and upvote posts even though i dont comment.
I must at this point concur with you that it really does. Kudos to @ogochukwu for that wonderful contribution, i am benefactor to those principles and possible way out you highlighted.
One thing i have always beleived in life is that ; to every problem, there is always a solution. Its left for us humans to actually find the solution. My main addiction during my first year in the university was watching wrestling on youtube. To the extent that i had to always leave my hostel as early as possible in order to be the first at the wifi station. At a point, i just had to discipline myself, deleted youtube from my phone, infact i had to change my to a non browsing one for some time. I wanted to know if actually i can get out of it,oh yeah, i did. I realised that it really takes strong determination to actually get out of sone addictions. Though mine maybe quite an easy one to others, but to me it was really a burden.
Just like you asked
Yes there is and you mentioned one of the means- death.
But as humans, we all love our lives, most will not want death as first resort.
Getting out of addiction is a gradual process, but i beleive when gradual and diplomatic withdrawal from those things that make us addicted will help a lot.
As long as hope is alive, we can always overcome.
Let me drop my pen here✍️
My addiction to @steemit and @rok-sivante post, haha. I need no therapy righ now and i dont think i will be needing any in the nearest future😊😎
Its really good to be back.
I guess no one is exempted to addiction. We could be addicted to anything. If addiction is severe, mandatory action is needed, or else it would end up in a tragic endpoint. Guidance is necessary on this case. A community or person or people is as well important for support, primarily the family or love ones, then friends and relatives. A heavy load needs to be carried by more than 1 person. Addiction is obviously heavy and needs to be carried out and thrown by several people, not a single one.
Glad to hear about the upcoming retreat, I cant wait for you to share your Ayahuasca experience again and all the changes that will follow, I will love if you could share more details, a lot of details if possible,..
My opinion to this post is that this hunger for a deeper more meaningful connection means youre blazing alive, I mean what will be the point of living if weve gotten all we want already, its probably all just part of the journey.
I hope you find the answers you seek for, the directions you seek, and more puzzles to put together, most importantly to feel alive again.
Didn’t get into too many details, though got into a bit of an account after all:
Whirlwind Vents, Tech Addiction, Ayahuasca Breakthroughs...
It's so annoying I've been very busy this days to drop comment on your posts...
We've been celebrating sallah.
Heavy sigh... This is a great post sir, if I'd confess ADDICTION is a very strong spirit that affects almost everyone. One way or the other there must be something that you'll be obsessed with regardless your integrity....
And the biggest battle is putting an end to the addiction.
And for AYAHUASCA how soon will that be sir, I'm really looking forward to experiencing it someday, and hope the so called 'grandmother' will not stop you from posting....
As for though I don't see nothing wrong in being addicted with social media as long as its for the right cause, I think Steemit is worth being addicted to, i see nothing wrong with that....
Good luck with your trip sir..
This candor was medicinal for me. Thank you. Upvoted 'n resteemed.
Your welcome. 🙏
It get more interesting checking through your blog as i have been feed with the much needed dose to hold on.
You use this post to talk about the word addiction and you were able to draw hypothesis with your daily life. Setting such example is good as it helps those looking up to you to gain much yielded knowledge.
On my own angle, i have been addicted to something beneficiary. I still do facebook but not as usual and when i see people dish in good post there just to get meaningless like, i got really pissed off.
I made a call to my self and i said if i can be addicted to facebook without a reward, i should change the channel to a more useful place.
Smoking, drinking are one habit i never love and i dont think i will be falling to that anymore.
' I've been extremely hungry for deep, human relation.' That is the hole to fill right there, for many of us as well. Appreciate the insight and sharing on this topic. Thank you, peace and goodwill.
And the advices & suggestion started to pour in...
But one question keep me wandering...even if you bring control in yourself , how you gonna change the world where every other human is addicted and hooked to internet.??? Gone are the days where people use to go and meet other in personal. Like minded people need to come along to make this possible. ..to sum up ..everything is in our hand
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Really interesting read, thanks for posting.
Can I recommend a search on "Aspie" it maybe a hat that fits you imho
Maybe 15-25%...
I had a girl friend back then that said to me plainly that she love having sex daily. Each day she gets hungry of having sex. This is addiction which can hardly be curbed.
Addiction comes in different forms.
One can get addicted to the usage of phones. The way we use phones may be uncalled for which will later become addiction.
Friends can make one to get addicted to something else. If imitation comes in, the it becomes addiction. Sometimes we should mind the way we imitate others in other to remove confusion.
Just know it that addiction is in you, in me and in each and everyone breathing. It just depends on how it is to you.
@rok-sivante , you are really and truly a great writer. I appreciate your handwork.
Well, I imagine that would have been an addiction that would have had its perks for you! lol. :-)
Sir you are a good writer...veracious one!
I wish to throw more light on the word addiction...Addiction is the psychological, physical or even emotional dependence on something that may seem to have value
Its also a conditions that affect the memory systems of the brain, substance utilization and gambling disorders are characterized too thus causing impaired control* over usage which are social activitive, involving disruption of everyday activities and relationships; and may involve craving. Continuing use is typically harmful to relationships and work or school obligations. Another distinguishing feature is that individuals may continue the activity despite physical or psychological harm incurred or exacerbated by use. Tolerance to the substance increases, as the body adapts to its presence.
There is no one cause of addiction whasoever but human genetic or other biological factors which contribute to vulnerability to the condition, many social, psychological, and environmental factors have a strong influence over the use of substances. There is no one personality type associated with addiction, either. The lack of enablement to tolerate distress or other strong feelings is linked to addiction.
Addiction affects the brain’s executive functions, individuals who develop an addiction may not be aware that their behavior leading to problems for themselves and others. Over time, the chase for the pleasurable effects of the substance or behavior may dominate an individual’s activities thus making the individual to look so bizarre...and most importantly the individual involved may depend on stealing for the acquisition of his or her wants if it involves material addiction.
Addiction is indeed a menance
@rok-sivante, Addiction is not good in any aspect because addiction move us towards unproductive patterns. There are many people who destroyed their life's due to addiction of Alcohol, but the problem is when people think as, addicted aspect as their life and through it they destroy other important aspects of their life.
And Human Behaviour is so dynamic that we never know, when we will enter in which phase and that means, sometimes our internal battle and outer situations form an Alliance and then whatever situations born through these alliance our mind will act accordingly to defend this situation.
So, everything surrounds around one matter and that is called Importance, and many people move into Isolation because they start thinking as they are not getting importance, and their Isolation becomes an defense mechanism for their own perceptions.
Technology was brought to bring the development of Human Beings and not the Electric Beings, by this i mean, today everybody have mobile handsets and now situation is really terrible and that means, if they need it or not but they will keep mobile handsets in their hands and will going to perform some action which is never needed but still they are addicted to mobiles. We are fearing about the Artificial Intelligence but we hold one or couple of Artificial Intelligence in our hands which inturn controlling our lives so effectively that we will not going to agree upon that.
Nowadays an new subjects are born and some conspiracy theorists said that, possibly Human Species are creation of Superior Artificial Beings and they probably beings who live on the Nibiru and Nibiru possibly an giant and earthly spaceship. And literally speaking nowadays the environment also changed in my observations and i don't know about others but in particularly in my case i can feel the different vibrations and frequencies. The unfortunate thing about the human beings is, we can just hold an perception towards meaning of our life and destination of our life. Let's hope that we can understand our ultimate meaning of existence.
Wishing you an great day and stay blessed. 🙂
Man I love your posts! So far every single one I've opened up! Life is but a continual dying to be born anew. From one circle into the next, never static, small dances we create for a few whirls and circles in a similar fashion, and then one day we hopefully allow that song to die and a new dance to emerge to a new tune.
Circles of habits bridged With ever new Circles emerging out of the old.
Some things drop away completely, some things transform and take on a different more transcendent form. Some things devolve before we let them die. But all things die to be the phoenix they all are. Fractals of themselves yet reaching for ever new complexities and infinities :D
Not sure I saw this comment of yours earlier, so just wanted to say... wonderfully-stated! 💖
No worries and thank you! Was off steemit for a month, sold my old computer and some music hardware that was more a burden and taking space than a help, and was pretty much disconnected from the virtual world :)
Back now :D
Hi @rok-sivante! We are @steem-ua, a new Steem dApp, computing UserAuthority for all accounts on Steem. Starting from the witnesses, UA propagates from user to user based on its followers until equilibirum is reached. We are currently in test modus upvoting quality contributions with a high UA value (UA_author + UA_post)! Your UA_post value is 7.525.
Please stop spamming my posts.
I get you’re trying to promote your service. But spam is NOT the way to go about it with integrity.
We are not spamming you, but upvoting you. The comment is not a promotion either, we are merely in test modus. Can you talk to me on Discord perhaps? I'll be happy to exclude you from upvotes and/or comments.
@scipio
the exact same comment copied-and-pasted on countless posts = spam.
The vote is a completely separate matter.
And no matter what you call it, it comes off as self-promotion.
No need for further discussion on Discord. You know my stance - and it’s likely I won’t be the only one who feels the same way, just perhaps one of the few who’d voice it.
The flags have been removed.
Thank you. And as I've explained in my other reply to you, while I was AFK, my colleague decided to start upvoting numerous posts, and indeed leaving the same (type of) comment (which is our bot, it's not copy-pasted).
We're currently still in test mode with several of our modules, including the comment bot, and this was just a too high voting-/ commenting frequency. If you look at our other replies, 99.5% of the people respond happily. Which of course does not mean your opinion would not matter; it does.
Do you know what we are building btw? With UserAuthority?
I initially explained it in this article in Nov 2017 (warning: math-heavy) and @cryptoctopus 3 weeks ago wrote a fantastic non-techy article about it here.
If there's one thing we want to solve, its SPAM & Steem abuse. (Only our bot was a little bit too enthusiastic ;-) , but that wasn't done on purpose )
Also we've opened our pre-alpha UA website on https://steem-ua.com/ You can check your own UA score (updated daily, with 1.3 trillion eigenvalues) via SC2 currently.
The coming days - after some minor debugging ;-) - I'll publish our proper intro post.
Cheers, thanks again and have a wonderful day.
Right @rok-sivante
Social media addiction sometimes makes a person addicted to marijuana.
I, after getting to know Steemit. I spend a little time in another world, like playing Facebook and playing games. Hopefully I can be better here (Steemit)
I’m 99.99% certain social media addiction does NOT make anyone addicted to marijuana.
If you’re going to make such bogus claims in my space, you had better back it up with some sort of credible evidence, proof, or facts that’d hold up to the scrutiny of the least of basic common sense and logic.
I don't mean that someone who is addicted to social media is like being addicted to marijuana, not at all!
Maybe my English is not good, I apologize and please understand.
Sorry again for my comments that look chaotic @rok-sivante