This story describes the fear of taking a huge step in life. Compared to other adsactly stories, which I've found pretty 'meh', I liked this one more.
The narrator, ready to embark on a life changing journey to a university in the west, at the final moment faces tragedy (lost tickets). Though predictable, the ending that the niece had the tickets, worked well enough.
As far as writing goes, the sentences are clear and there's description of characters. I can imagine the family situation, and the worry about leaving home for someplace far away.
I enjoyed reading the family background, as well as the use of pidgin English. It gave more depth to the story and the character. Describing life in Nigeria, the family life, the pidgin English, these idiosyncratic elements constitute the strongest part of your writing.
As far as conflict goes, the main conflict was the moment the character had to present the ticket, only for it to be missing. I think there could have been more conflict present. Perhaps more conflict between the family members about the ticket, about going to the university, about leaving Nigeria. I think this is hinted at, and could have been something else to bring out conflict and plot.
"...never had anyone dreamed of going to the university, more so, a university in the white man's land."
This line stood out to me the most. I think you could have explored this more.
I didn't like the plane crash ending though. Having the ticket stolen by the niece, this wasn't a surprise, but, it worked with the plot. The plane crash seemed out of nowhere. You spent a lot of time discussing the implications of the trip on the narrator's family, then instead of resolving *that * conflict, you brought in a plane crash. The story is about taking a step in life, so the resolution to that conflict is about how the narrator changes after. With the plane crash, the narrator hasn't really changed.
For example, replace 'plane crash' with any sort of crazy event (car crash, terrorist attack, robbery, thief, etc). It doesn't matter what the event is, because it'll still be out of left field. We're interested in how it changes the narrator. because that 'change' is what actual story is about. I feel like we didn't see that change at the end.
Thanks. This is very helpful.