I was a very lonely child and it's funny but the first word that comes to my head is "starved". I felt starved of affection, starved of love and I felt that it wasn't OK to ask forit. Maybe there was a sense that if I deserved it, it would be there. There must be something I'd done which meant I didn't deserve it.
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You don't realize yet how lucky you are. That hunger for affection brought you here.
Thanks man.