I look at how bad we fell off. I look at all the damages I caused. All I see is pains in everything I said. I just wanted to make sense. None of those things said was meant to shatter you. But then I understand why it drives you insane. What kinda man calls the one girl he wants the most a whore? Who throws away an oxygen bag in an emergency ward when he still wants to breathe the most? The more I try to explain what I meant, the more I get it more complicated. I only wanted to be that shoulder you can lean on. You know you feel judged and it feels like you don't measure up. It was ever an ability or aptitude test, yet it feels like i only see bad in the good you do. The true nature of friendship is known in times were things go wrong. I saw good in everything you do. Maybe I didn't congratulate you enough and I understand why you feel like I termed you a whore. No sane man will ever do that to a woman going through something. I don't know how to explain this anymore. We all have a different conception of hell, but what I'm going through now best describes it. I understand what you going through. It was hard to understand why one bad moment will ruin everything completely. We don't even stand by and talk. We don't see eye to eye anymore but my loyalty don't stop cause we don't speak again. I lost what's mine way before I found the gold. It's my loss. Time to balance the book. I always believe in you and you have work to do. Give it all your best shot, you will always prove them wrong. I have never seen it all done so beautifully by someone else but you. Anyone who never been through it will be thinking how easy it is. It's all bad for me, they stole what I got and blame it all on me. I understand why we fell apart. Look how bad we feel apart. We can't even be casual. Dear mother Africa, no matter what happens in the end, you will always be my girl. I love you yesterday, now and forever.
