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Maybe the cool dudes talked about me around the water cooler- most likely.

(Most of) the dudes I know are not too cool.

Have you tried unplugging them and plugging in new ones? Easy fix. Just need a little bit of love and quantum frequencies running correctly again. Trust me I'm a pro. -J

Going by your blog posts, uh, yeah. Looks like! Sheesh!

How to make more friends?
It's incredibly important for you to make sure your social life blossoms. Without the parasitic relationship of one loser to another, it's virtually guaranteed that you will come back to me and complain. Therefore, it is of utmost importance for you to scream five seconds again near large groups of people. Any strange looks you receive are basically an invitation for you to continue this ceremony, at which point you should also begin slow-dancing and winking after this to people you like. Don't be afraid if someone flips you off; this is a sure sign that it's working, and that you should carry on with the karate chops and moonwalks. Those who begin singing along or dancing but not hip-thrusting clearly have acknowledged you in the correct way. You will have friend, you will be free to rage at each other, love and hate and play erotic RPGs without little things like the Internet in your way.

Sometimes It's a lonely world being a Nutty Professor . That's why they introduced to me Flubber at my facilities .

I'd rather not.

No one asked you to do anything. Just keep making your little jokes and move along. There I told you to do something now.