This article will be a combination of a “mea culpa,” an apology, and advice—advice that I should take myself more often—having to do with being impatient, nasty and insulting towards statists.
Now, I do want to make a distinction here. Because I do think that people who believe in freedom should talk and act as if statists condone immoral violence, because they do. Would it be good for someone to talk to an actual Nazi like this?: “Well, I understand that you want to violently dominate—and maybe expel or murder—a bunch of people, and I respect your opinion, and it’s perfectly valid; I just have a slightly different viewpoint.” Or should people condemn, even verbally attack people condoning mass evil? For the same reason, I don’t think statists should be allowed to remain comfortable and content with their advocacy of the violent subjugation of humanity, even if they have good intentions.
However……..
I do have, and have had, a tendency to be rather impatient with a lot of statists in online discussions, where it doesn’t take me long to not only condemn their beliefs, but call them idiots, morons, boot-lickers, state-worshipers, and so on. Even when a lot of the people I talk to actually are those things, I still shouldn’t be so quick to get personal and hostile towards them. And for that, I actually apologize. No, really. ... No, really, damn it! On a lot of occasions I’ve been too caustic and abrasive, too insulting and condescending, and too quick to call people names.
I might as well explain why I do that—not why it’s okay that I do that (because it’s not); just why I do it. I became an anarchist in 1996. For the first several years of trying to explain voluntaryism (before that word existed) to a world of devout statists, the number of fellow anarchists I knew could be counted on one hand (without using binary, even). I spent day after day essentially “screaming at the world,” trying to get people to see how they had been deceived, manipulated, indoctrinated, and tricked into betraying their own values and principles. Most people paid no attention. Of the few who paid any attention, most responded with condemnation, ridicule, insults and/or threats. For many years that was my experience: trying to tell people that they should be free, and having them tell me how evil, stupid and dangerous I was, and how I should probably be caged, or killed, for not bowing to the state.
If you’ve recently become a voluntaryist, and think it’s frustrating now trying to explain non-aggression and self-ownership to others, you should have experienced what it was like twenty years ago. Actually, I’m glad, for your sake, that you can’t experience that. To say that it was stressful and frustrating would be a massively huge understatement. I felt like one tiny advocate of freedom in an endless sea of devout statists, which included friends, family, neighbors, pretty much everyone. I kept saying what I believed, kept trying to explain the idea, and kept getting barraged by open hostility from the true believers in the cult of “government.” Day after day, year after year.
And it didn’t exactly help my temperament and patience that in 2005 a jury of twelve state-worshiping imbeciles (yes, they deserve that label) declared me “guilty” of not bowing and kissing the royal ring, and as a result I spent a year in federal prison, even if it was only a “minimum security” cage. (Misdemeanor “willful failure to file”—not sending pieces of paper to the IRS—was the charge, in case you wondered. And no, I wasn’t even guilty of that “crime.”)
So yeah, all of that might have made me a tad irritable towards state-worshipers. Just a tad. … Okay, more than a tad. (Whatever a “tad” is.) Nonetheless, I really need to remind myself that whichever statist I talk to today probably isn’t one of those self-righteous authoritarian assholes I talked to ten, fifteen or twenty years ago. And I especially need to remind myself that I myself was a statist, for a very long time, and would have been one of those self-righteous authoritarian assholes. The proper response today is not to be a self-righteous anarchist asshole, which I admit I’ve probably been on many occasions.
So yes, I genuinely apologize for being so quick to insult people on a personal level, even when people say things that really are quite stupid—as all statists do, and as I did when I was a statist. I need to keep reminding myself that that stupid crap they spew is the equivalent of a parrot repeating noises it doesn’t understand, because it was trained to. What statists believe is not the result of objective, rational reasoning; it is all faith-based nonsense that has been drilled into their heads for all of their lives. So when trying to help them “deprogram,” I need to be more patient and understanding, even when what they are saying really is profoundly moronic.
Another thing that makes it difficult is that statists continue to support things that are genuinely evil and destructive. For example, I see people proudly pontificating about how they “support the troops,” and I see those “troops” committing mass murder, and it makes me want to smack the boot-licking flag-wavers upside their heads. And to some degree, I still think I should. I still think evil should be identified as such, and condemned as such. But I shouldn’t be quick to condemn the motives, and the core goodness, of the poor schmucks who were duped into believing the nationalistic bullshit—the same bullshit I believed for years. The ideas needs to be attacked, condemned and destroyed. The people need to be understood and helped. Sometimes I’ve had trouble keeping that distinction in mind.
I’m not even against shaming and guilt-tripping those who continue to personally advocate authoritarian aggression. I think that serves a valuable purpose, precisely because if people never have their indoctrinated assumptions challenged, they will probably never question them. However, along with the message of, “Your beliefs make you the enemy of humanity,” should always be the message of, “Who you really are should be defending humanity from this.” Because yes, even most Nazis meant well. Most fascists think they’re doing something good. Most authoritarian communists think they are serving humanity with their ideas. But their combination of good intentions on the one hand, and a drastic misunderstanding of reality on the other hand, results in horrendously evil effects.
Nonetheless, it is my New Year’s Resolution (a month late) to try to be more patient, less personally insulting, and less rude—without being any less principled or direct—when talking to all those people who haven’t yet escaped the authoritarian indoctrination they were subjected to. (If you're at all like me, you might want to do likewise.) And I’m sorry for being nastier and more caustic in the past than was necessary or helpful.
Well written as usual. I think a really challenging thing for ALL OF US whether it is Statist, Voluntaryist, Anarchist (not the type the news is calling it), or any other label is that we do all have a mind. It is very likely all of us are very defensive of our mind.
So I believe you've had some amazingly compelling pieces. I've shared many of them with people over the years. The most effective ones I find are the ones where you are attacking the idea of statism, and statist acts, and the YOU that you refer to in those pieces is not specifically the person who is reading or watching some of your material.
Now on a more personal basis I think an important thing a lot of people forget is to ask themselves What is my actual goal in talking to this person? Is it to convince them of something different than they currently believe? Is it to vent your own frustration, and you do not care whether you convince anyone or not?
Through observation and you likely have had these same observations I've noticed that once the ad hominem attacks and insults fly it becomes VERY difficult (almost impossible) to convince that person of anything. You may have relieved your pent up frustration with them a bit, and you thus may emotionally feel a little better, but the attempt to convince them of anything is likely gone. So it is really important to know what your goal actually is.
In that battle you will still possibly convert people. It will not be the person you attacked, it will be the spectators that were present to watch the exchange. So another aspect of your goal questions could be, am I willing to sacrifice convincing the actual person I am speaking to if it convinces other people watching the exchange?
It is frustrating for anyone when they spend a lot of time developing their ideas, and learning to try to persuade/convince those who do not agree with it. This is even true of people with ideas I disagree with to a large degree. You are not one of those. I believe you are highly effective for convincing spectators. If you have begun to say you are sorry and think about these things then it is also likely you will become more effective and convincing your actual target. You know as well as I that some people will say "you will never" convince me and crawl back into the logical fallacy of their absolute. Those people you cannot really sway by logic. They've made up their mind, and until they either stumble upon it themselves perhaps as a SPECTATOR, or they learn critical thinking and begin to recognize when they are lashing out with a logical fallacy to protect their mind you will have little you can do.
I've had people tell me "you are wasting your time". I am certain you have been told this far more often than I have. I tell them "you are probably right" but then I explain to them, I went into this knowing the odds of convincing someone are slim. Yet if I even convince one person out of the many people then that makes it not a waste of my time. If I don't see someone convinced when I am talking to them, that does not mean I was not successful in planting a seed. They may over time come back to some of the ideas and eventually they may realize what I was trying to say. The seed, or the crack in the cage that grows over time is also not a WASTE of my time if that is the result.
One thing I do also think is important, and it is a problem I have sometimes too. Good communication seems to be more receptive if people have the perception you are listening as well as speaking. If you simply shout them down then that is not listening. This means you have to listen to stuff you think is moronic drivel. Your response to that can inform them that you are listening, and considering. It can be very difficult to not say "that is so damn stupid". That is very difficult, it is like trying to hold a bull back from a rodeo. We all fail at that from time to time. I think all we can do is recognize we do it, and try to improve in our abilities to reduce such incidents.
You were one of the early people who influenced me. I found Libertarianism by way of Ron Paul, I found Anarchism/Voluntaryism by way of you and a few other people.
There are some challenging things to grasp in Anarchism/Voluntaryism that are very alien to the paradigms we were raised/indoctrinated in. People will defend paradigms with fervor. It is usually only shock that makes them question them. I think seeds, and time can as well. That's just me.
Anyway, well said... you have my support... my respect... my friendship if you want it... etc. I hope you read this and it has some value for you.
What a great supportive community we find ourselves in and reading your reply comment is a treat to my mind and my heart. Thank you! All for one and one for all! Namaste :)
Thank you. I just hope he sees it and that wasn't simply a fire and forget post. The people that already are well known tend to have a lot going on and I've noticed a lot of fire and forget postings lately.
That's fine though, at least people may come here because of it. I truly hope @larkenrose reads it and the other comments from people.
Thanks for your well thought-out comment. As it happens, you raised several points that will be covered in the seminar thing I'm giving at Anarchapulco at the end of the month, about the psychology of statism. Yeah, people should be "arguing" for the benefit of the OTHER person, not just to "be right." Although, as you mention, sometimes it's for the benefit of quiet spectators, more than for the "opponent." But if the goal is not spreading understanding, then it's not worth doing.
Thanks for the response. I'm glad you saw my comment. A lot of the big name anarchists/voluntaryists like yourself haven't been as active here now that the payout is normalizing at a lower value. I wasn't sure you would see it, I'm glad you did. Keep up the good work, and if you need something from me (other than money) ask. Some day, maybe money... but none to give at the moment. I know you understand that. ;)
Get someone to video that seminar if you can. I'd like to see it.
Wow! Thanks for sharing such a potent piece of your soul with us. It takes courage and humility, especially in front of such "circumstances". I so hear you and I'm very glad to hear you working hard on becoming a more patient man. As we say in Quebec "Patience is the Mother of All Virtues". In hopes this serves you and us all well into the future.
All for one and one for all! Namaste :)
I think you found the key that will unlock many more doors..
Thanks to long hours and talks from my wife, I'm living your message now. I really understand where your coming from. I live by this: I really needed to think about and incorporate the feedback I get from people.
Fortunately when they start listening to you (statist or not) they are fantastic at giving feedback. People like you and I need to always make it a point to really listen and change. There is a lot of power behind the wheel so it is very important to steer the machine in the right direction.
The feedback defines us..
I try to always stick to the issue and use polite yet assertive debate strategies- I believe that the first to resort to ad hominem attacks concedes the debate- far easier to win them over by killing them with kindness- and facts of course- all that is of course easier said than done.
Don't get down on yourself too hard, we've all been there! I mean, I know I have.
I agree with this entire post, we are in the same "shit, I guess I could've been a bit nicer about it" boat. Haha I'm trying to do better.
Thanks for sharing this, @larkenrose! Have an awesome day.
I can empathize with your struggle, I feel that same indignation when talking to others about the unconstitutionality of the income tax (just one point here: it is the only amendment that does NOT have an "enforcement clause") or why statism is a religion.
I can see you still struggle with your contempt as I point out in the text quoted above. At least you now recognize your actions are often counter-productive. That doesn't make it any easier to repress the anger you feel inside. It's about learning what triggers that emotional reaction and how to express it differently, constructively.
That's not a discipline that comes easily, but rather though repetitive practice and exposure to triggers (I know there's no shortage of those for either of us) and an increasing awareness of your response, you will learn the ability to preempt the emotional reaction with a measured, constructive and rational response.
It will be interesting to see if your indignation and "edgy" attitude will come through in the dialog in your mirror project. I don't need to tell you any type of condemning language or tone will likely not achieve the goal you intend for the project.
I'm confident you're smart enough to get adequate feedback to filter that crap out of there, so I am not concerned.
I actually enjoy your quick wit and off the cuff [emotional] responses. For those whom your style alienates there are others who gravitate to it. Remember George Gordon? He had a similar style of telling it like it is, tho unlike you he was a deceptive psychopathic predator. See, it happens to me too!
Have you read the books / articles/ research from Sam Kaner on participatory decision making or Roger Fisher, William Ury on getting to Yes? From outside the current conflicts look like that both sides want individual safety but they have different ideas about how to get there. Definitely using violence and murder is not an option at all and must be condemend.
Quick quote from Anthony de Mello:
So, yeah, urge to shout at "them" is understandable, but counterproductive. Shouting will vent your emotions, but close your audience up, and may confirm their prejudice: you just might appear to them as aggressive and nasty as they think an anarchist should be, so... there you go ;) But if the goal is to make them see the light, proper communication channel needs to be found and used. Deceptively, sneakily, wake them up, instead of letting them slide into a deeper coma.
And one more open question I've been asking myself for some time now: would it be possible to do something about The State, which resides firmly in the minds of the asleep people, without actually waking them up? Or is being asleep equal to being a statist, and it is either "awaken and free" or "asleep and enslaved"? Or am I playing silly games with words.... :)
Don't you think most people want to be told what to do? Being in charge of your life is hard and requires higher intelligence.
always look forward to your writing, keep it up!
Not everyone has the "correct" and truthful information. It's up to the one's like yourself to guide others to the truth. We can't just turn our back on them because we did this to ourselves.
Zizek made a good comment on the subject and he's a communist!
https://qz.com/896463/is-it-ok-to-punch-a-nazi-philosopher-slavoj-zizek-talks-richard-spencer-nazis-and-donald-trump/
My personal New Years resolution is also along those lines: "Don't be mean to stupid people."
Looked at from a purely practical perspective, this boils down to "you catch more flies with honey than with vinegar" -- a lesson that I, too, am struggling to internalize, Larken. Our concerns are real and dire; it's no surprise they evoke strong emotions in us. It seems that others' acceptance of one's "red pills" corresponds directly to one's level of mastery over those emotions.
I agree it is a challenge to remain calm when you have figured out the matrix and don't want to be part of it anymore while everyone else around you still worships their slavery and thinks they are totally spot on. Nobody has the full truth about anything but one thing really became very clear to me - what we see is not reality, it's a fabricated structure and it only works as long as the "controllers" can continue to brainwash the masses. But the night is always darkest before dawn. So will see if the dawn on humanity will be a collective wake up or completely surrendering to a transhumanist totally surveilled cyborg "society" where all free will and critical thinking is gone...