Dear brother.
Experience has taught me that Shame is a feeling, which when integrated (in a particular way which i would love to share with you - just ask me) is like a fuel cell which can be used as power for moving forward.
i think that WHEN society reaches that point in (illusory) time when the vast majority of people (and thus society and humanity as a whole) are enlightened enough to act in non-violent and benevolent ways ... ... ...
... your grandsons will see that you did the best you were able in each present moment considering the circumstances.
They will emphatically realise (real-eyes) this & hold no judgement of your true self, as there is only One true self (you and they being One and the same).
They will feel gratitude for you and the part you played in helping society to evolve, as you are doing now.
They will see how you continued to grow in consciousness to help your self and other selves become better people.
They may even see how you became an active participant in a genisis group of thoughtful, committed citizens who were catalysts for changing the world using #TheMatrix8Solution, a particular people powered community governance system.
They may see you as the Grandfather who courageously became able to let go of shame, blame, of all judgements of himself (and others) thus transforming all those fuel cells to power himself forward on his journey of a courageous warrior becoming a hero of his grandchildren.
What future will you choose?
Sat Nam
Atma