My hands are still shaking while I’m writing this.
What was going to be a post about my plan to get to Steemfest2, might now become an exit plan.
I had a post all ready to go about my plan to get to Lisbon and Steemfest2. I was going to make it into a family holiday and my best friend Brian was going to come along to mind the children while I attend Steemfest2.
We haven’t had any time off together for a very long time, so I thought it would be a nice way to combine the both.
The plan was to use only money I make here on Steemit and any profits I made with my cryptocurrency.
Instead, I am now making an exit plan.
Art by: zfshadowsoldier.deviantart.com
How a mistake turns into something really ugly
My daughter Skye was hanging out with some of her friends when she called me from her friend’s phone and asked if she could stay the night at her (other) friend Lilly’s house. She’d dropped her own phone and cracked the screen, and the battery was flat.
They’ve known each other since they were 2 years old and her mother and I are friends since that time too. Her younger two children and my two are friends since birth. We even followed them to Ireland 10 months after they moved here. So whenever Skye calls me to ask this, it is never a problem. I asked if this was OK with Lilly’s mom, and this was a positive. I used to always check with her mother but since Skye is almost 16, I felt that this time, I should give her my trust. I was wrong. She lied.
She had never asked and when she got to their house, they weren’t home.
To make a long story short: instead she went to my friend Brian’s house, who lives in that area.
He told us he’d always leave the backdoor open just in case Skye needed to get out of an unwanted situation, even if he wasn’t home. I thought it was a good idea, since she has a lot of friends there and we live about half an hour from the town. It’s a tiny village, so nothing really ever happens, but you just never know.
So that’s where she went but ironically Brian was at our house at the time.
He’s pretty much part of our furniture for the last 3 years.
She went in to charge her phone, in the hope she could still work it.
Her plan was to walk back to Lilly’s house after this to see if they were in yet.
Instead she fell asleep.
She didn’t wake up till 6 in the morning, while all this time I thought she was at Lilly’s house.
Because she couldn’t get her phone to work, she made her way back into the town to call me at the gas station. I woke up to a phone call from a number I didn’t recognize at 7 am.
At first I let it ring out, thinking who on earth would call me at this hour.
After I got up, I decided to ring the number back to find out who it was.
It was only 15 minutes later, but at this stage the people at the station had already called the police.
I met them to collect Skye and already knew they would call the social services about this.
This was 5 weeks ago.
Yesterday, a social worker called to get directions to our house. It was urgent that they visited NOW.
My remark that this didn’t seem very urgent as 5 weeks went by weren’t appreciated and her tone changed from stern to right-out nasty. I had to give her directions right away, but since we just moved here, I had to think about it for a bit. Something that she must have seen as me trying to stall her.
I managed to give the directions, and from that time to when they got here I thought they must have been at the bottom of our road.
Two women walked in, one holding a notebook and a pen that never stopped and one quite young one who did the talking.
As soon as they came into the house, she turned her nose up for the cat sleeping on the kitchen counter.
It was dangerous because cats spread germs! Yeah, because I never heard of food health and safety and don’t know how to clean and use a cutting board…
She made me throw the cat and her kittens out and told me that she didn’t want to see them in the house at a next visit or else…
Mice or rats probably weren’t an issue then in rural Ireland, but I kept this to myself.
The dog had to be muzzled next time too ‘just to prevent her from biting and having to be put down’.
My dog Dakota didn’t like these people, so I just put her outside to prevent any problems.
They then continued with a house check. They were positive about our well stocked fridge, probably thought I starve the kids to death.
In an earlier post I wrote about our move and that we’re only just done fixing up the other house.
I wasn’t going to pay more double rent than the six weeks I already had, so meanwhile I used my room as storage so we could unpack bit by bit.
Of course they had to remark about that too.
Where did I sleep? On the couch, so the kids could sleep in their beds.
Not good. You can just never win with these people.
Skye’s bed in coming next weekend, so she’s sleeping on a mattress on the floor.
Frowned upon.
They really didn’t care that I was basically doing all the moving and most of the work here and the old house on my own, with four kids in tow and that our car and the small trailer could only hold so much.
The distance between the new and old house is about 50 miles and the bed has to come from another location all together. If I only had a magic wand.
Then they cornered me and told me they had to talk to each of the kids in private.
I didn’t quite agree with two adults speaking to one child, and asked if someone could be present.
That was a negative. Because the kids had to be able to talk freely...(and they had to be able to put words in their mouths…).
Later a friend told me that her ex was present during the same at their house and that wasn’t a problem.
So they lied.
Skye later told me that they asked if she thought they were there to take them away.
When she answered yes, they told her not to worry, because they weren’t quite there yet.
Who on earth says that to a child? 15, almost 16 yes, but a child nevertheless.
Of course, the subject education came up.
We unschool so this is hard to explain, even for me sometimes.
So when they asked Sinatra (9) and Keanu (7) I can only imagine what their answer was.
“What do you do all day?”
“Uhh, whatever we want. Play, cook, play with the animals, draw, paint, play again.”
So after this, they came to talk to me and told me the kids needed more structure and I should send them to school (mind you: catholic school, there’s nothing else here).
I should send Aryan (3) to creche, because he needs to play with kids his age.
They all need to play with kids their age.
Homeschool meetings and sports they play weren’t good enough, because it wasn’t local.
And they needed friends locally.
That I have no problem driving them wherever we need to go for a play date or an outing, and that this would probably be the case here too, didn’t seem to matter.
Where we used to live, there weren’t any kids around, so I always had to drive at least 15 minutes to their nearest friends.
Sinatra plays Gaelic football in our old town and I gladly drive there every week.
But they’d rather have me rip her away from the friends she has there to make friends locally. It doesn’t even make sense.
When I didn’t budge, they tried to play another card. I needed time to myself.
If the kids went to school, and the baby to creche, I’d have those hours to myself.
Yeah, because dropping the kids off at 9, then drive home, collect Aryan at 12, drive home for his afternoon nap and then back into town to collect the others at 3 followed by at least an hour of homework, sounds really relaxing to me. They didn’t really care that I made the choice to homeschool them and that I gladly handed in my own ‘me’ time so we could spend our hours together instead of having them brainwashed into becoming slaves in the system.
All in all, their visit was quite threatening. I didn’t sleep. I feel sick and anxious.
They are still getting in touch with our family doctor (who’s seen us once in 4 years) and they’re probably going to hear about my stance on vaccines. I am dreading the response to that.
So no matter how much we love living in Ireland, I feel like the walls are closing in on us and so is big brother. I need an exit strategy and most of all: a place where we can be safe, at least for a while.
I am not sure what to do next yet, but at least visiting Portugal in November will be good to see what’s possible. I might have to do something quicker than that. I really don’t know right now.
Uncertain times…
I hate this feeling.
Oh my gosh! This is terrible, I am sorry I missed this post, I have an idea to get stories like this more attention and support, my next post will explain it all, once it's all set up if you could repost this story I will make sure it gets noticed.
I am sorry you had to go through this, but it's great that you are speaking out about it.
Thank you @misslasvegas
thank you @markwhittam
Lovely to see that people care in cases like this. I will read your posts for updates and will write an update here soon. There's so much going on right now, it's very overwhelming.
I understand all too well what you must be going through right now @misslasvegas, I hope you manage to find a way out of this situation, if there is anything you think I can help with just ask, we are in the south of Spain right now in a small town called Orgiva, filled with homeschoolers and alternative people who are all escaping the system one way or another.
If you need a place to get away I could ask around?
Keep us posted
Bless.
Oh my! I just saw and read this. Sorry I didn't see it earlier.
What an AWFUL thing to be going through. I feel so badly for you.
Some of us were discussing things like this on this post recently,
https://steemit.com/story/@markwhittam/keeping-my-child-out-of-foster-care-because-i-grew-up-there
... and if you follow that author, he will probably be posting soon about starting a group for people to discuss situations like this. Hopefully you can get some helpful advice.
thank you @canadian-coconut I appreciate your concern and input. I feels good to know there are people who care. I know Mark and have been following his story. I'm writing an update soon, as this story has an ugly tail. But this time I'm not backed in a corner anymore, and ready to fight.
Great. I'm very glad to hear that things are looking up.
Be sure to add the tag #familyprotection when you post, so that we can easily find it.
Wow, what a terrible dilemma. I'm so sorry you are in this situation and I really hate CYS as its called here in the States. I swear they come in with preconceived notions and look for things to fit the image they have. Even when they are proven wrong, they just don't want to be wrong and grasp for straws. I'm glad you have the ability to leave if things come to it as that is a great option to have, sad that you'd have to leave where you want to live though. I wish you the best and please keep us posted as to how this plays out.
thank you for your kind words and input. You're right, if anything is not according to their book, it's out of order. They were talking about my son needing to socialize with others his own age. But it doesn't matter to them that all I do is for the kids and that I do everything so they can have their friends and 'socialize'.
The government has overstepped their bounds. I hope the world starts using cryptocurrency and the government can't collect taxes so programs like this can not exist!
I couldn't agree more. The thing here is that in the past they've been slacking when it came to child protection. There was a family not far from here in the late nineties that had neglected their kids to the extend that they were malnourished. The mother 'rented' out her eldest daughter to pay for her drinking and drug habits and would lock the kids in a closet for hours. The kids wouldn't show up at school half the time and were in a bad state. All of this happened under the watch of social service, they were already involved! This all came to light when one of the kids walked out and went to tell someone. These kids have sued the child protection people and the state and because of this they now are going overboard and find problems if they can't see them in the first place.
Keep strong, don't let the bastards grind you down & do sort out a way out, soon... they will pick on you all the more for not being Irish & a single parent of course, they sound just like the ones in England. Portugal sounds like a much better option if you can afford it, they're much more liberal and apart from language you will find it much easier there... Good luck
yes, they do pick on anything out of the ordinary. Single parents and they seem to think everyone not Irish is from a third world country or something. When it's really the other way around. I've lived in third world countries and there are things here that are more backwards than anywhere. Hot water for instance. I have never been in a country where you'd have to either turn on something for half an hour or make a fire for hot water. And I lived in Indonesia! They had hot running water in most places...Not here. I am not sure about Portugal for the long term just yet, but have been playing with the idea of becoming worldschoolers, so it may just be time to start planning to hit the road. Thank you for reading and your input.
Your welcome, I hope it all goes well for you....
Never let anyone in your house related to government... Plain and simple.
I know, I usually wouldn't. But here you kinda have to or they bring the cops and then you have a report that says you have something to hide. And on the cops radar. That makes things worse.
This is the result of burocrats using technology agaist people instead of using it to help people.
These idiots should get fired and never be allowed to work in this sector ever again
Living in Portugal comes with its own challenges and battles to face. You will still be tied to your country, no matter what, because you have to have proof of everything here, birth, marriage, divorce, death, custody, that you exist, papers for everything under the sun for the stupidest things. Everything. And then you have to pay to have it all translated into Portuguese and that person you are forced to employee has to be certified, you can't just use Google translate. There are community forums online for English-speaking ex-pats of all nationalities. Portugal is beautiful, wonderful, and paradise on the surface. After two years I know where the cracks in that beautiful picture are. Would I come here to live again knowing what I know now? Maybe, but then I think about how a simple procedure has turned into a two year ordeal that has yet to be resolved and think maybe not. Would I come here to live if I had children? No. Not at all. Others might disagree, but I would not bring my children here to live longer than a year or so. That's the truth of it. It is gorgeous, beautiful, and charming, so charming, but it is not an easy place to live for two adults on a budget with no children at home. Just look at the national minimum wage to see how that works, for example. I'd lose my mind if I had young children at home with me.
Thank you for the input and valuable information. I will keep this in mind. I've been playing with the thought of becoming worldschoolers for some time now. So Portugal would be on the books, but probably just temporary. I am working on making a life for us so we're not bound to stay in one spot but can travel. There are definitely places where we wouldn't need all the money we need here for instance. My friend just recently moved to Peru with her husband and three kids and places like that are just a lot cheaper to live in plus the weather permits growing more of our own food instead of buying it in shops. I recently bought a caravan and plan to fix this up and go from there.
We'd planned to bring our caravan from England to Portugal but housing is just as cheap, if you can find it, as renting a spot for a caravan in a park. If you can make money outside of needing a job here, then you're golden. I know people that make 15 euros a day, for 12 hours of work here. The headaches and "tomorrow" attitude will drive you up the wall. I'm used to supreme failures at efficiency but this just takes the cake. There's also a rise in xenophobia here that few are talking about, especially towards anyone that speaks English. I catch it, even though I'm American. My partner is English so it's assumed I am too. It's a good place to start, definitely, but we're still looking at Belize or even going back to England as options. Especially now that the pound and dollar are tanking. We're looking for another caravan too, just in case we decide to just start traveling and see where we end up. I wish you luck! *I'm editing this to clarify...there is a rise in xenophobia to BRITISH English speakers.
That is so funny you mention Belize. I was in Belize when I was pregnant with my second child. We were looking to take over an existing shop there but couldn't agree to some of the details.
After we got back to Holland (where I'm from), we asked ourselves if we wanted to give up on Belize or find another way to get there. We decided to try other ways. Not long after that my ex partner did everything in his power to set us back further in our plans. Turned out he didn't want to go and just went along with it...We split up and about 6 months later I moved to Ireland with the kids what was meant to be a stopover before Belize. We've been here 6 years now, and maybe this is the sign we needed. At the moment, lots of countries are considered, but Belize is still hanging in the background. Luckily I don't have a British English accent. My accent is always described as American English with a little Irish and Dutch on the edges lol.
Thank you for the well wishes. I wish you all the luck to full fill your dreams. I'm sure you'll get there.
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@misslasvegas Many things are happening there with you; stay strong
thank you <3
Wow! Child services seems very strict in Ireland. I have read similar stories on steemit. Stay positive! I'm sorry you are going through this.
they are nuts to be honest. And they like to target single parents. According to them, we have to be alcoholics or on drugs to cope...
Oh wow. That is so scary and I'm so sorry to hear all of this. I can't believe they told your daughter they weren't there to take her yet. Why does social services have so much power? It is scary! We moved to Panama 5 months ago for various reasons and we are happy here. If you're looking for a good place, consider the mountains of Panama. Great weather, kind people. I hope any updates from this storyline are in your favor.
Thank you for your kind words. Although Panama is definitely on our list, it is just not possible for us at the moment. I am working hard to make a better life for us but right now I am on a very low income, working odd jobs here and there. Now that we've settled into our new place I have a little more time for steemit, so that's great. But the last thing I needed was a bunch of strangers butting in, opening drawers and closets (literally) and telling me how to raise my children. I've dealt with them before here because of lies a nasty person spread and even though they said they were helping, all they did was get in the way and give us more stress. The good thing here is that they are not the most intelligent people most of the time, so it's easier to outsmart them. But it costs a lot of energy that I could use for constructive things instead of keeping them in a job.
Wow, I just can't believe they were searching your house. I don't know what is legal there in Ireland. At least they speak English and you can try to work things out that way. The language barrier here is sometimes not so fun (although I speak pretty good Spanish). Blessings.
Thank you for sharing Love and Pease :)
Research Uruguay
Yes, I've heard great things about Uruguay. I already wanted to 'worldschool' for some time, but for us to move to anything other than within Europe is not financially possible yet. But it is definitely on the books and I am working hard to become completely financially independent and work from home so this can become a reality. Thank you for the input.
i am so sorry you are going through this.
make no mistake.
you are now being targeted.
get out of Ireland. please. while you can. now
Thank you for your concern. Yes, I know I'm a target, I think I've been one since we moved here (and even before in Holland). They don't like anything out of the ordinary and we're everything but that. I have to lay low for a bit since I don't have the resources to get out now, but working on it though. As soon as we can we're gone.
do you know about this. worth attending this saturday.
you have to download MUMBLE and set it up to be ready.
@markwhittam and @canadian-coconut from Family Protection will be presenting on the Beyond Bitcoin live show.
https://steemit.com/eos-project/@officialfuzzy/beyondbitcoin-rsvp-whaletank-hangout-228-or-2017-10-14-or-sat-230pm-utc-or-over-650-usdbd-in-awards
I didn't know about this. I'll have to look into it. Downloaded mumble :) Thank you. :)
ok, i send you my best wishes for you and your loved ones
thank you @marionjoe <3