"it was making me miserable and making me intolerable to the people around me."
I can relate to this pretty easily. Back when I was doing what I was "supposed to be doing" I was miserable but not only that, i was kind of an asshole. I saw myself as a good person but I was a mess of emotions and it was a mess that I was putting onto others. What I would call decent and normal then, I call selfish and mentally ill now. Only when you live for yourself do you truly have the capacity to live for others.
Now after 5 years of this "adventure" my parents get on me about when I'm going to "settle down". But I spent 20 years being molded into something I wasn't, learning skills to be something I wasn't, and 5 years executing that plan....The first 4 years I had to spend really relearning everything and recovering from the trauma of going against my desires for so long. Now I am starting to get my shit together and I've moved at lightning speed in his process, only 5 years to undo 25 and start building something new!