A message to all the terrible bosses outside

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                                Stick Your Useful and Spiky Job, Gaffer
                            
        Dear Gaffer,

I have some news, which I think you will find disruptive.
Over the last two weeks, I have found working for Pugford Rail Service both useful and spiky.
It's fair to say that my PA is dirty and the librarians are crazy, but this has not stopped me from finding the work useful.
I have really enjoyed smoking with my PA and stealing smelly stick notes from women's handbags. But all good things must come to an end.
As time has passed, I've found that my dreams of becoming a reality TV star have become increasingly frequent. Last week I took the plunge and bought myself a fire engine. I dream of getting up in the morning and dancing, something that my current job fails to nurture. Now all I need is a fire engine and I'm almost there.
Thus I must resign from my job as an academic, to pursue my true calling as a reality TV star.
In your role as my superior, you have been the picture of temperance, which is why I leave with a disruptive heart.
Best of luck with your continued pursuit of a quieter working environment.
Yours sincerely
justadoge