pixabay.com
As some of you know, I was on a short vacation again (Mallorca, Spain this time). As probably the same people know, I was recklessly attacked hugged by a jellyfish while swimming.
Jellyfish are huge assholes. Literally!
By Whidou [CC BY-SA 4.0 (https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-sa/4.0)], via Wikimedia Commons
The people who made this picture preferred to call it “mouth”, but jellyfish eat and “poop” with the same hole. And they’re not much more than this hole and some tentacles. So: Giant assholes.
But those tentacles were the actual problem.
While I was swimming peacefully in the surprisingly warm water (October? Nah, not there), I didn’t even consider the danger. And when I felt something soft and squishy brushing up on my body, I thought it’s some kind of seaweed and pushed it away.
Just that it wasn’t seaweed.
My fingers touched something jelly-like and immediately started to burn. So did my right hip and side of my stomach.
The animal was tiny, maybe 10 cm in length, but the pain it induced!
Jellyfish (not all by the way) have so-called cnidocytes on their tentacles. Those explode when touched and penetrate the human skin very, very easily. And deposit their nasty venom. @suesa
I’m surprised how fast I reacted, there were almost 100 m between the beach and me and I was in pain, huge pain. Ever accidentally touched a hot pot or pan and burnt your finger in the process? That pain but on a larger piece of skin.
Breathing was hard because I panicked quite a bit but I made it back to the beach where I walked up to the lifeguards sitting in the shadow and watching the beachgoers.
”Jellyfish?” One of them asked and I just nodded, in tears. He proceeded to rinse the affected area with a mixture of vinegar and baking powder, then told me to stay out of freshwater for a bit.
Because freshwater might trigger leftover cells that might still be sticking to my skin. And, surprise! Urine counts as freshwater too. Please don’t pee on jellyfish stings. Just don’t.
Anyway, I survived with several nasty red streaks which I actually wanted to show you. But then I’d have to post a bikini picture … I can live without the comments that might be provoked by that.
Instead, look at the pain of someone else:
By Thomas Quine, https://www.flickr.com/photos/quinet/6052293114
Sources:
What’s Behind That Jellyfish Sting?
Difference between Cnidocyte and Nematocyst
Puncture mechanics of cnidarian cnidocysts: a natural actuator
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just be glad you didn't get swallowed by one of these guys
shudder Reasons why I don't like deep water: THIS
Attacked by a jellyfish..... so they are assholes....sorry....Giant assholes!!
First post from you that entertained me...lol
Are my stories so boring? D:
I generally do not read stories.... actually this was your 1st post that i read whole of it.. again lol
I wonder what that says about you :P
Oops... Now this is going like the comments on a Facebook post.... 😂
Drama!
They are not assholes! They are sensitive and adorable brainless creatures that scare people off and make them hate swimming in the open! (voice tone going from sweet and kind to furious)
I just hope you're ok!
It only looks bad by now, pain has faded
Thankfully! Well, think of it as a holiday-tattoo... :P
I tried to read the post three times through and didn't find any mentions about these giant assholes you were talking about, as the post seems to be about jellyfish instead of buttholes.
However this is fine.
I have been wondering about jellyfish for a long time and I have seen an article about jellyfish amounts increasing and jellyfish spreading to larger areas, sometimes taking space from "real fish". There are only a few predators threatening the jellyfish and when "real fish" are being fished out, jellyfish has more space to spread.
I prefer real fish to jellyfish. Say no to jellyfish!
I live for false advertising.
Maybe YOU are one of the giant assholes like me and that's why the jellyfish
attackedhugged youSo this is what Dory from finding Nemo felt. Now you know.
On a side note, this is how the dark legend of peeing on stings keeps on perpetuating, I believe:
Pervs.
Jellyfish always look so alien to me. I've only seen a couple small ones at local beaches though. Glad I never got stung, maybe I should start being aware of them when swimming in the ocean.
You may be lucky and never encounter one. Spain is generally more on the dangerous side. And Australia. But Australia is dangerous in every way.
I hope you´ll recover fast from that jelly attack. I know what you´re going through as I got in touch with one of those "assholes" as well some time back. Definitely not an experience you want to go through...
They are not assholes, they evolved that way due to millions of years of natural selection.
I know :P
Who knows why they evolved that way though? There seem to be a few people who evolved the same way. OR DID THEY? It could be that those humans are anomalous - a weird offshoot of something that should have turned into a normal person in the same way jellyfish should have turned into a 'normal' fish... like a shark or something? :-)
Haven't been to Mallordca in nearly 20 years but I DO remember the jelly fish!!!
Maybe it's time to invent something that can help us avoid jellyfishes while swimming. Recently, I saw a video about a device that releases small amount of current when there are sharks around. It's called Shark Shield. It was put in the ankle of the surfer and when the shark was heading to his direction, the device expelled current that cause it to turn away.
There are actually several things. Gels that are supposed to neutralize the toxin (apply before swimming), suits that can't be penetrated by the tiny hooks...
Thing is, you have to buy and actually apply/wear it. How regularly do you apply sunscreen? Do you always wear your helmet on the bicycle? Even if the answer is yes, you'll do other dangerous things.
People just don't think about the dangers. I didn't either.
Well that maybe is the problem, we like taking risks without calculating the dangers first and we think more about spending money than our own protection. Although I think It’s not like we’ll only be using it once. You’ll be swimming again right? Prevention is still better than cure. Just be careful next time. Get well soon @suesa.
It's like on every vacation you risk dying LOL
And yea that whole pissing on a jellyfish sting is a misconception that i wanted to write about for a while now, great you evaded that haha
Otherwise, had some fun I hope?
Great fun, many freckles :D
A vacation isn't a vacation without the possibility of a sudden and meaningless death.
I never understood why some people pee on the stinged area. I mean everyone knows you are supposed to drink it, not pee on yourself!
exactly .. those weird humans !
Wtf, is that true? Poop and eat with the same hole? Should we call it a mouass (mouth/ass), loooll... Great post dear and sorry about the pain, hope you felling better now
Yes I'm feeling better, thanks :)
And you'd be surprised how many animals are built like that or worse.
You should be more careful next time, I heard so many people experiencing this. I guess they mostly lurk at shallow side?
It was in deeper water and the thing was basically invisible cause it was tiny and transparent. Not much chance to see+avoid it.
you mean the jelly fish did this to you? how? i thought jelly fish is harmless
Good you learned something new then and try to avoid jellyfish :)
Jellyfish sting is painful and at worst it can be dangerous.
I think this may be one of the examples of how 'new' is not always better!
Some jellyfish are harmless. Others will fuck you up. There are even some pretty deadly ones.
Amazing
Only an asshole can hurt someone that much!
What a great article!
Does Mallorca have its own, alternate timeline? 🤔
Hope the pain and nasty red streaks will soon be gone.
Yes, it's always August there :P
It seems like creatures from a warmer climate are the ones that pack a more serious sting(?)
I'm glad you didn't run into an entire swarm of them!
When it's about jellyfish, a tiny asshole is worse than a giant one!
@suesa : i am glad that u were not greeted by member of box jellyfish family.
They pack mean sting. And so does the Portuguese man'o war.
Oh sorry about the attack @suesa
Hope you are no feeling the pain anymore.
Actually, i haven't had any experience on jellyfish since i have been swimming, perhaps i haven't swim in a very open ocean but with what you wrote here,i knew it hurts and its very dangerous.
Just be very careful
I hope you are not feeling the pains anymore.
hi suesa! how u doing? i never got to ask you about your stings, actually @m31 told me the other day that you got stung.. how u keeping up? their stings can get a little nasty..
I'm fine by now, was lucky :)
good to hear that! :)
I am far away from sea and no opportunity to get touched with jellyfish. BTW, your article is well written. that's why I got huge reward I think. keep going.
Lol, I came here because of the heading, enough to draw my attention.
Good click bait headlines are an art :P
Australian beaches ( not all though) have that problem .. extremely painful .. I had a girl at the beach ask me to urinate on her after she got a jelly fish bite .. once at Coogee beach in Sydney .. I did ( none of her friends could urinate on her ) . And it made it worse .. but the good thing was we dated for 3 years after that ... true story ., it was my " you feeling lucky moment "!!!! 😜😜😜😜😜
Yeash looks nasty I think there are far more poisonous ones about too ! I'm always afraid of water when I can't see the bottom 😱 Imformative article
Yeoch!!!! That is too bad they got you! I got stung by some tiny jellyfish when I was in Capri last fall and it was very painful but my stings were not as big as yours. I hope that is your last encounter with a jellyfish!
Suesa, you're being attacked by a giant asshole and lived to tell the tale. You are a hero!