One of my biggest fears in life is how I'm going to handle it when my pup passes away.
I know beyond all reason that if he were to pass at the hands of another I would do unspeakable things to that person and everyone they held dear until my madness finally coalesced in to a level of brutality that just a hint of the thought disturbs me.
I am not prepared to deal with that loss, especially when the only thing that kept me from a self inflicted dirt nap was the thought of him living his life without me while he came to embody the misery I see in his eyes when my father is around.
To speak plainly, I refrained from killing myself a couple of times several years back because I love my pup that much. The only lives that matter to me are that of my wife, mother, dog and unborn child. My life matters not. The only reason I still fuck with this plain of existence is for those people, but mainly my dog.
I raised him from a puppy so the love is strong. I'm not a violent person, I've just lived life a little too full and the older I've gotten the more Ive realized how blasé It's becoming. It takes a special kind of psychological torment to breed a mind content with the unimaginable horrors that pass behind my eyes.
You have a beautiful girl whom looks to be a lot of fun.
And this comment is ish, but I feel you understand the magnitude of my love for my pup and against my better judgement I'm going to post this turd anyway. Regards. V
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Wow this is intense. Reminds me of John Wick (awesome movie). Thanks for taking the time to post!
I can't wait for Jon Wick 2! Such an amazing flick the first one. I apologize for the intensity of my previous reply. I stated how I truly feel , but had my wife not just miscarried our first child and had to go to the hospital due to an extreme loss of blood. I would've sugar coated it and masked certain aspects.
I will admit that at time when I don't care that I'll say crazy stuff just to see where people are at mentally, but this was not one of those times.
I love my pup more than just about anything, and losing our child traped me in a week of thought where all I could think about is what I would do if I lost Kingston. He saved my life twice, that means I owe him two.
I appreciate your response back most certainly.
Sut Nam.
V