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Yesterday I went to the dentist, which if you’ve been following me here for awhile, you know that’s kinda my absolute nightmare. But this time was different. And while sitting in that chair, drill whirring, face aching I was thinking about writing this post to you, fellow anti-dentine.
from a post last year, when even a check up was enough to send me spiraling
After two KILLER toothaches in the UK, and being lucky enough to have my healthcare approved for another year in the states, I promised myself and @teamhumble that when I got back I’d sort it out BEFORE I had another emergency. And so, Monday morning I called and made an appointment.
Thinking back, this was the first good move, because when you’re already in pain, or half your tooth has broken off and you’re dealing with the anxiety and fear of that jarring experience, you’re already off. It made me feel like I was in control because I decided to go on my own, instead of being at the mercy of my pain.
The second good move is I left with PLENTY of time, and got there early, about 30 minutes. No sense adding stress on top of stress fighting through traffic to be all worked up busting through the door late to an appointment, especial if you’re already worked up about just the idea of getting in that chair, they ended up taking me about 20 minutes before my appointment was scheduled too! I guess we forget they’re trying to get out of there too! Going in early was awesome, and appreciated.
I was greeted by a young doctor (probably about my brother’s age) who was super kind and positive.
Here’s my next tip. If you don’t LIKE your doctor, if they make you feel bad, or worried, and start hyping up all the things wrong with your state, GET ANOTHER DOCTOR. Please remember, this is YOUR body and you’re 100% in control of what happens or doesn’t happen to it. In that moment, I realized almost every dentist I’ve ever had, was pushy, and dramatic. I remember being really young and having a dental assistant almost TEASE me about my cavities and try to tell my Mom it was because I wasn’t brushing. I felt alone and helpless in a room of adults who I felt like wouldn’t take my word. (even though mom was always good about taking my side when she knew I wasn’t BS-ing).
No one should make you feel like this. If you're not comfortable with how you're being treated, peace out and find a new doc.
OK back to the story. When I got there, he had already seen my x-rays, and we talked about what was giving me trouble and he said “don’t worry you’re in the right place, we can take care of that, we’re here to make sure you’re out of pain first and foremost”. That was news to me, I always thought they were there to do as many procedures as possible to that they could get my fiat coins.
He asked the assistant take a new set of X-rays to see if anything had progressed since I had left the country- and when he came back, he asked me what’s bothering me the most, and what I’d like to take care of…
Oh I have a choice??? That part really never sank in. Yes. Ok it’s my body, and I get to decide when someone is going to put holes in my face where it’s going to be damnit!
We decided to forgo the side that’s been giving me the bad toothaches, and instead deal with the side which was causing me daily pain when I chew- that way I’d have one stable side to work with while we dealt with the big stuff over time. Having the empowerment to choose what was going to happen REALLY helped my fears about the procedure, because I didn’t feel like they were being imposed on me.
The next part is what I feel brought me the biggest breakthrough. The seat went back, and I took a deep breath. I’m not shy or fearful about needles in the slightest- but I told the doctor it might take a few doses before I get numb, so I knew I was in for a bunch of shots….
The needle went in, I felt the pinch, took a deep breath, and almost immediately, I felt this intense fear rush over me. My hands and legs went cold, and I started to shake. A bit of tunnel vision started to set in, and I started to breathe deeper, but the pit in the middle of my stomach started to grow… I thought to myself “How is this happening? I feel ok about this.”* I couldn’t wrap my head around it, because I felt 10x better going in on my own than I had previous more emergency driven times.
So I decided to say something.
“Hey, I’m feeling a little shaky…” I said sheepishly, and showed the doctor and his tech my hands. They immediately put the seat up to help me level out, and told me it was a total normal reaction to the ephedrine in the shot.
You may be thinking, — Wait, isn’t that like…speed?
Yes. And your body treats it like PURE adrenaline.
I said, I really felt like it could have been placebo because of how INSTANT it hit me, and he explained that wasn’t likely…
“Because of where we’re working today we had to put the novaicene near a main artery, it’s instantly in your blood stream, and your anatomy may be such that you’re just more sensitive to the ephedrine than others…”
Oh, i thought. ANATOMY. Chemical reactions, happening which produce a physiological response close to fear and anxiety… because of DRUGS!!? Wait, I’m not a total basket case!!??
He said “If you’re feeling the way you do when you drive down the highway and see a cop put his lights on behind you, that’s the ephedrine.”
WELL DAMN! - I’m not a basket case after all! (haha ok save your jokes for the comment section.)
The biggest thing that I realized yesterday, was that I had that feeling at almost every dental visit for nearly 30 years of life on planet earth, and because no one had ever explained it to me, my mystical pisces brain just thought I had some deep psychological and emotional damage that caused me to hate going to the dentist. Every time I even THINK about going into that chair, I felt that panic feeling, the way a certain smell brings you right back to that familiar place.
What I never realized could be happening, was that my body was just prepping for that biological reaction and that experience had been reinforced through association. I just never had the data to understand it, so my default was bad feeling+no data=fear.
My dog trainer Mom giving me a pep talk the night before said this...
“When I’m working with dogs who have a certain fear and act out in aggression, we work with them to expose them gently to the thing they’re scared of, and make sure it ALWAYS ends in a positive experience.”
It's ok doggo, you'll be back from the vet before you know it! <3
So, if you’ve got a dental visit, or any hurdle you’re trying to get over today here’s my advice.
+Set yourself up for success, by doing anything you can think of to help make it a more pleasant experience.
+Remember you’re in control of anything that happens to you or your body. Be vocal, stand up for yourself, and let the Dr. know if your uncomfortable.
+Ask questions and get as much data as possible, so you can understand what’s happening.
+Remember, if you’re feeling anxiety- it may just because you’re given straight up DRUGS that are going to make you feel amped up. It’s normal, and you can request another type of numbing agent which doesn’t have that effect if you think you may have a reaction.
I hope my story helps you step through any procedure you may be about to undergo. At the end of the day it’s scary stuff, that I wouldn’t wish on anyone, but if you HAVE to endure it, I hope this little post gives you a bit of ammunition. I'm rooting for you, you can do this!
<3
A fellow anti-dentite
Dayleeo
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Going in for a root canal today (insert eye roll here) and taking your tips with me!
But seriously, what is it about dentists being the most shaming humans out there. I get that they commonly have to deal with people not doing their best to keep up with dental hygiene, but the majority of us do the best we can! We'd go see them more often if we didn't all dread being shamed by them!
Aw I'm so sorry to hear that! I guess this post was meant for you to see today then!
This too shall pass, and just think, by this time tomorrow it will be all over <3- Mine is going to be scheduled too as well :(
I want your dentist! The last dentist I had terrified the ever living life out of me and I haven't been back.
want to know a secret? he was actually a recently graduated doctor doing his residency hours at the local clinic- its the place my insurance takes so it's what I have to work with, but DAMN have they been awesome.
I don't have insurance so it really doesn't matter where I go, I need to pay. But I don't want to pay for a butcher if I can have someone who gives a hoot about their work!
Well I will say this, the young guns at the dental clinic are SUPER closely watched over by resident doctors, and they're at the point where they're not jaded and still give a damn. PLUS they're there for the hours and experience, not the money so they're not going to pressure you into procedures just for the extra scratch
Sounds ideal! I don't know if we have these clinics here...
Hm might be an idea to see if there are any schools in the area, they might be able to point you to where the doctors do their residency hours <3