In writing this I hope to offer more than another trip report, of which there are countless to be found on the archives of Erowid. With my artwork and brief description of its source of inspiration I hope to offer a glimmer of hope to those who dealing with depression, PTSD, addiction or any of the side effects of being incarnated in this strange universe. I am writing from the perspective of a visual artist. I use images to communicate my thoughts most of the time so I will try and keep my writing brief and allow the artwork to fill in the gaps.
I got much more than I had bargained for on that evening. It was Jan 1, 2013. My intentions for the night were to listen to music and conjure up ideas for artwork, but what unfolded was far more spectacular and encouraging than I could have hoped for. Within a half an hour of eating a very small amount of mushrooms I was immersed in a beautiful and strange internal realm within which my recently deceased best friend seemed to merge with me bringing a Christ-like message of salvation and infinite love. This was a very strange experience to have as an atheistic, skeptical, scientifically minded individual. It was only a year after he had died in a car crash and I was understandably depressed. I had not fully processed the pain of losing him and the mushrooms illuminated that area of my mind forcing me to confront it. It was therapeutic like nothing I’ve ever known before. Like most trips it was a roller coaster of thoughts, feelings and emotions, but at some point I ceased to be a self at all, I was everything, a dislocated consciousness lacking all of the indicators of feeling attributed to being a human being with an identity. It was contact with the fountainhead from which pure joyous love and creation overflows, but it was also very weird. After the dust settled and I had time to incorporate and process everything I was able to make several images directly related the experience.
Making connections with realms that exist beyond our daily patterned familiar experience of reality is important for expanding your view of whatever this multiverse is that we find ourselves within. However, caveat emptor to all who enter here…
More art at ajwalkerart.com
I'm a big fan of them myself and I do believe they can be used in treating people that need some help.
You are incredibly talented! If I understand correctly you drew these after (not during) your experience? I know it's controversial but I have heard more about psychedelic drugs helping with depression. I think it would be great to know if these experiences can help only those who know the cause of their depression or if it can also help those with chemical imbalances that lead to depression. I suffer from the latter, but hope research can continue in the psychedelic field to help the many suffering from all types of depression. Great post!
WOW! Excellent post and great drawings! I wish I could draw that well.
This reminded me of the first and only time I tried mushrooms. I was in a pretty confusing place back then, decided to try it with a new friend while at the same time having issues with a girl I was seeing.
We both ate 2 g's and were awaiting the effects, we were at her place and she started playing league of legends and was telling me how she could already feel it. I was surprised as I wasn't able to feel anything yet, pondering if it had anything to do with my weight or if I had smoked earlier I thought I'd just wait it out and see.
Then the girl texts me and asks me to come over to her place cause she wanted to talk. I got that feeling in my guts telling me this wasn't going to be good, so I started walking for half a kilometer and as I was about to appear at her front door I had almost forgotten I took the shrooms, that's when the effects started to hit.
Thankfully we were talking outside in the dark while smoking cigarettes and she couldn't see my eyes properly. She was telling me how she has been feeling depressed lately and confused about which school to go to, and the whole situation with me and how that would change.
We went back inside and everything in that room was "breathing", it felt like everything was alive and moving, a little at a time. Not in a spooky way but shapes were moving, had more contrast and everything felt more alive.
We lay in her bed and she was trying to fall asleep cause she had to wake up early, so I decided to stay for a bit til she fell asleep. But inside of me fireworks were going, my mind was racing. I was thinking of old friends, relatives, my family, her. Everything. The amount of sympathy and euphoria I would feel just thinking of some people was astounding, I had never felt this before. At the same time it did bring bad memories to light and how I have treated some people and wasted time when instead I should've spent it with the ones I love and who love me. I remember hugging her and silently cried for a couple minutes. I hadn't cried in years.
She was asleep and I decided to go back to my friend who was probably tripping balls and I felt bad for leaving her all alone since we were trying this together, so I quickly went back. On my way there I remembered that I had just eaten before we took the shrooms, and that must've been the reason I didn't feel it as fast as she did.
When I got there she was still in a game and I couldn't tell to save my own life what game it was. She kept telling me it was still League of Legends but it looked so different in my eyes, the colors, the movements everything seemed like a new and improved game with unreal 4 engine or something.
The rest of the night we spent listening to music and watching the stars on her balcony with hot chocolate and a joint. It was one of the most amazing experiences and I remember how I could still feel it the next day a little bit, I kept thinking of the things I thought of yesterday and that I shouldn't forget about them cause they were really important to me.
I did feel like I changed as a person the slightest bit after that time. Many bad behaviors I had got corrected and I learned to think about how others want to be treated and how they see it from their perspective when something goes down and to learn that not everything revolves around me, even though people in general are getting more and more selfish.
Thanks for the memories your post brought. Didn't wanna make this post so long but it was a truly epic experience so I thought I'd share.
Did you see my post about Art and Amphetamines?
https://steemit.com/art/@jlwkolb/art-on-amphetamines
Sometimes we have artistic breakthroughs through substance use in the creative realm. Never tried mushrooms -not sure where to find them (?)
Thanks for sharing your experience.
i know someone that knows someone ;)
do tell!
I love psychadelics.
Great art work, sorry for your loss. Thanks for sharing your experience and perspective...
I completely agree! The only shroom trip I've had i never wanted to end because i felt pure bliss and no anxieties
microdosing is the key less is more,especially by lsd
or better yet try DMT and breakthrough thats amazing aswell
however be responsible
MAPS.org have been pushing to get many psychedelics and MDMA researched for psychotherapeutic treatment. A study recently came out approving the benefits of psilocybin mushrooms for depression. Hopefully, these studies allow for the use of these powerful substances to help with mental illness. In my own experience with them, I have seen their potential.
Beautiful. So powerful this healing can be. I'm a volunteer for the Horizons Perspectives on Psychedelics annual conference here in NYC. I wrote this critique of the underground therapy movement here: "The Efficacy and Pseudoscience of Underground Psychedelic Transformational Work" https://steemit.com/psychedelics/@soulsistashakti/the-efficacy-and-pseudoscience-of-underground-psychedelic-transformational-work-without-a-clinical-protocol