Welcome to Beastly Tales. Each has a message, a moral. All are meant to have an element of humour. Naturally, any names included do not depict real folk but are included as part of the joke.

Thank you for your following.
Richard Hersel

BEASTLY TALES

THE PENSIONER

I may be poor, but I’m not a bum,
Although I subsist on a very fixed income.
I’m a pensioner, you might well have guessed.
And with a regular pension I’m duly blessed.
I certainly do not have money to spare,
But, never-the-less I’m so glad it’s there.
I worked all my life, at many a station,
And so I feel sure I’m not bludging on the nation.
I paid my taxes and did work hard,
Mainly self-employed, no union card.
I planned to make a lot of lolly,
But it all turned out to be a folly.

I always planned to live to one hundred,
Or die in the attempt, yes, be dead.
I don’t think that I’m afraid of dying,
But to avoid it, I’ll sure be trying.
No, but I’d prefer not to be there when it happens.
Nothing to mark the occasion, no flag flappings.

So went the soliloquy of Rasmus Huckleberry,
In his twilight years, as he grew so very,
Accustomed to years in which he had less delight,
Thinking of some of his lifespan he’d squandered alright.
All lost in the rich tapestry of life,
When daily treadmill was so very rife.
“When I was young,” Rasmus did say,
“I thought I was immortal never to stray”
“From the path to some sort of success,”
“But eventually, I found my life a mess.”
“When I was young, yes, at school,”
“Studying hard to learn the Golden Rule,”
“A week seemed forever, the end never came,”
“It seemingly just dragged on, no blame.”

“Now it flits by at an alarming rate,”
“You’d think every Monday was the Starting Gate.”
“For another week to flash by,”
“In what seems the twinkling of an eye.”
“A person I know once drew the analogy,”
“Of life being like a toilet roll, see?”
“When the roll is new, it turns very slow,”
“It’s the bigger circumference, you know,”
“But as usage progresses to the centre,”
“The turning speed increases until you enter,”
“The last turn near the cardboard roll,”
“When you reach the end, how very droll!”
“Yes, life is a little like that,”
“Oh, let’s be honest, that’s it to a pat!”

Rasmus was wise, he was not a sap,
And right now he thought he’d take a nap.
He lay on his day bed to rest his head,
Out loud, to no-one he said,
“I’m not bludging, but practising, for when I’m dead!”

Sort:

Trending

[-]

armandosodano (78) 6 years ago

your imagination and compositional technique are unique, the analogy with toilet paper is pure art and science in unison. All seasoned with the caustic humor ... that depression the pension!

$0.04

2 votes