Welcome to Beastly Tales. Each has a message, a moral. All are meant to have an element of humour. Naturally, any names included do not depict real folk but are included as part of the joke.
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(As with Beastly Banter Beastly Tales is written and illustrated by Richard Hersel.)
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Richard Hersel
BEASTLY TALES
THE SPRUIKER
Wendy was a real good looker,
By trade she was also a Spruiker,
You know, you see them on tele.
Always motor mouthing about something smelly,
Or if it is not about food, about pills,
That is to say, medicines to cure your ills.
Or it could be about clothing, you will be told,
What to get and where, for young and old.
Super market chains have their own Spruikers on ‘the T.V’,
They are generally most obnoxious as you can see.
In the old times they were called “Snake Oil Men”
They would expound the virtues of Snake Oil when,
They appeared at circuses and country Fairs,
Of course, they came to promote all sorts of wares.
They were showmen, working hard at their trade,
Selling and promoting just about anything made.
In the 1800’s at a State Fair,
Spruiker Nathaniel Windbag was spruiking there.
“Come one come all” he did loudly urge,
“Your internal system you should regularly purge”.
“See the benefits of Milk of Magnesia”,
“It’ll settle your stomach, even if the taste doesn’t please ya”.
“If you want the most relaxing type of bath”,
“Put Radium in the water, plenty, not half”.
“And if constipation your gastro revolts”,
“Drink a very large container of Epsom Salts”,
And so the day would progress,
With the Spruiker contributing to a big mess.
Of mostly false promises as to the efficacy,
Of products that are mostly no longer available see.
Nathaniel Windbag at the very next State Fair,
Was on his stage with his sound trumpet there.
He was heavily promoting new Charcoal Pills,
Supposed to be the remedy for flatulence ills.
He spruiked, “If you regularly eat lentils and beans”,
“And perhaps Chick Peas for in-betweens”,
“Then you simply must take Carmody’s Charcoal Pills”,
“Guaranteed to settle flatulence ills”.
“So if you are already thinking as banal”,
“Generating gas in the alimentary canal”,
“It can be a burden one can do without”,
“So it’s “Carmody’s Charcoal Pills” we do shout!”
“Efficacious whether farting or burping”,
“There’s no other product that could be usurping”.
“Carmody’s Charcoal Pills, they’re the best!”
“Come on now, put them to the test”.
I do not lose one of your poems ... ha ha I find it very stimulating and noisy! Could it be viral? I wish you one day with cannon shots! Ciao Richard;)))
“So it’s “Carmody’s Charcoal Pills” we do shout!”
“Efficacious whether farting or burping”,
real advert indeed,
thats a funny one.
This one took some focus to get the gist. I'm always on the look out for these. Cheers
great poem. Thanks for sharing
Always insightful and inspiring post...
Your posts always make us feel fresh, dear @beastlybanter...❤
Thanks for sharing & have a lovely day...🤗☕❤
Another brilliant poem, so funny, and now I know what a spruiker is.
intersting poem.....thumbs up
berkasiat whether fart.that sentence in your poem makes me laugh. Thank my friend
Congratulations @beastlybanter!
Your post was mentioned in the Steemit Hit Parade in the following category:
An unusual combo of literature,humour and medicine...
Very well put to work..I am fascinated to see content like this @beastlybanter ..Thanks mate
The SPRUIKER poem reminds me so much of folks from my country(Nigeria)...lolzzz... Where people could spruik almost anything for you just for consumption especially in a commercial bus...
Nicely written @beastlybanter