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RE: Cryptopia - Page #002 pencils!

in #art7 years ago

Haha, thanks for mentioning me. I think you are very much right up there with your art. As for your new page, bravo! It looks like you are applying a lot of the tricks of the trade.
Just like last time I have a couple of nit picks that will give this page an even better flow.
Screen Shot 2017-08-11 at 5.06.43 PM.png

It seems like you want to have a "z" shaped leading of the eye, which is traditional and awesome. It works as is, but there is a little kink in the 2nd and 3rd panels. Essentially, the 2nd and 3rd are competing for the attention. I think this is mainly caused by the right hand side speech bubble. So the reader wants to read the next piece of text but the line work almost flows to the hand first. To resolve this, possibly lower the panel with the hand to let the guy take full control of the 2nd read and then let his eye direction that you cleverly already used to direct the reader to the swooping hand and will more easily connect to the rounded ground in the last panel.
My last caution is that you broke the panel borders twice in one page. Remember the more that you use this technique willy nilly the less effective it gets. I would say it is not needed in the last panel especially if you want it to read the way I am guessing.

Awesome work, though. Keep up the grind and it pays off as you already know.
Again, thanks for the shout out and in case you didn't know, I released a few page comic on my blog as well. Please take a look, I know you already saw the snippets on IG. Can't wait to see more!
-Joe