Hi guys ๐
Today i want to share with you a very personal story about my artistic journey, specifically my weaknesses and how i overcame them to a big extent.
I hope this is helpful not just for other artists who might go through the same thing, but also everybody else who is at a point where they are a bit worried about stepping out of your self imposed limitations to reach new heights.
I find that talking about these topics can help a lot, so i decided to share with you what went on in my inner world, so that you can make it past this as well!
It can seem like a scary process at first, especially if you're generally not that confident, but let me tell you why it is so worth it.
This is what happened for me recently after many many years of running from what was unknown, scary territory for me: traditional painting.
... when that sheet of paper was blank, so was my face with performance anxiety. All these years of creating art, yet i didn't know how i will possibly make it look like i knew what i was doing with these materials.
I thought it would look terrible and i would see just how much of a noob i am with what i thought i was good at all this time. Then i winged it, loved what happened with all the colors, and i couldn't stop because i had so much fun :)
All my life i've been using my pencil, and for just a short while digital tools to create my artworks, but i never delved into the deeps of traditional painting. To be really honest, it intimidated me, because it took some time to get used to the oekaki program/photoshop, and i still know only so little about the latter.
"...ok....just look like you know what you're doing.. so there's paint on the paint holding thingie that looks like i really knew wtf i did there, good good.. all the different brushes for super specific techniques..great.. now just cover the actual picture with myself.. perfect"
I tend to full focus on one thing at a time, so i decided to stay with learning photoshop exclusively so i would eventually be able to master it. Yet when i looked around the internet to see other artists work, i couldn't help but feel a little handicapped when i saw how they were well versed in even the traditional media, like oil painting for example.
It was something i had not a clue about, and i imagined how helpless i would be when i would ever be challenged with painting like this.
I knew a bit about colors, lightning, composition and all that good stuff, but the thought of creating something with colors, without all the tools i have in photoshop, was shaking me up.
On one hand, this excited me to just go and try it out, but on the other i was afraid of seeing just how little i know about painting in "real life". It was as if all this time i practiced would suddenly look like nothing as soon as i took that challenge. My ego was saying hello loud and clear, so i took some time to reflect.
I realized that it went much deeper. I saw that i was worried because i didn't want to "expose" just how much of a noob i still think i am when it comes to painting. This gave me the big big pointer that i have to let go of the idea of perfectionism i often get about art, because it just holds me back as it wants to make me reach a point of artificial safety in what i do, which is the ultimate limitation.
It erases and has erased many ideas i have/had because i don't think i can put them on a canvas "properly" enough, rather than just go for it and let my ideas materialize, even with flaws.
So many times i thought how much i regret not having done certain projects or ideas for my art, just because in my mind it wasn't reachable with the skill i currently held at that time.
I always tried to be almost completely prepared beforehand about anything i was going to do, even really trivial things.
That way i spent a ton of time for maximum preparation, which made me feel much safer in whatever it was i was going to do, yet it greatly limited the overall learning potential i had since i tried to avoid anything i couldn't prepare for in time.
It also made me very stressed whenever i got thrown into situations that caught me off guard.
... story of my life
But!
As i spent more and more time on meditation, delving into Buddhism, Yoga, Alan Watts, Science, and with that knowledge and practice of letting go threw myself in all kinds of situations i couldn't really prepare for, i made big steps that almost completely freed me from this crippling restriction i put on my abilities and mindset.
This enabled me to get on a path where my mind and body can become even healthier, and my creativity can flow much more freely. And oh boi... i can't even begin to tell you how good it feels to just go for my ideas, without all the unnecessary complications and walls in the way. I get an idea that i like, i go and paint that shit.
Even the visualization of it already excites me and gives me a feeling of happiness, rather than worry and skepticism about whether i can pull it off or not, and what others will think. I just let it flow and whatever it looks like at the end, i know that i did the right thing and i'm funnily enough one step closer to where i always wanted to be at before, without the tryhard part. Good times!
...sneak peek of my first ever acrylic painting!!
So whatever related situation you are in that you might be struggling with, don't worry: you can overcome this as well! Just keep in mind the bigger picture, and look how far you've already progressed and what long way you've come.
And that is WITH the restrictions you put on yourself!!
Now imagine without...and how many ideas you can unleash without limitations upon your glorious being and it's potential.
You can do it too, i believe.
That is it from me! All the best to you ๐โ
@celestinel thank you for sharing your awareness with us. I use to strive for perfection then that got boring and I find much more FUN in the perfect imperfections of the hand and eye. The eye is the most important tool for allowing creativity to flow. The more you spend time in observing the higher you awareness. The hand will follow what the eye sees. I spent many years chasing perfection only to show my paintings and get the dreaded response that looks like a photo. At this point their engagement with the art stops. Contrast this with painting abstracts and the feedback is oh do you see this or that looks like a... the engagement with imagination is exciting to me. So I call my self Allowistic Artist to remind myself to allow creativity to flow through me. I mix all mediums will even run it over with a car if it feels FUN. My point is art is a form of play the Artistic Reflection of Time is the result of this play. You inspire me to share my art experiences of the struggles along with the success. One of my favorite things is to push a painting to where I want to throw it away, then play in the challenge of saving it from the trash... I am very grateful to have the opportunity to meet other artists and share all that I know.
Creativity flows in the waves of now.
Allowistic Artist
Vincent Strader
#allowistic to see my current art flow.
You are diligent painting time diligently yes. I like people who are diligent. Thank you for sharing your handicrafts. I love it
Thanks so much!! Glad to share :)
Honestly, I think artist are born, not made. I cannot imagine myself producing the same acrylic painting that you have just showcased above.
But yeah I get your point...never say never.
Maybe one day I could do that ? Who knows really, such is life.
Indeed, never say never! I saw people with no experience at all in drawing, nor any skill learn to draw as well as great artists out there.
A lot of it is technique which everybody can learn! What differentiates artists the most i think is how they choose to express themselves, by choosing certain styles, colors, themes, and how their pictures feel like ... that is what makes the artist special in my opinion.
And all their life flows into that, so i guess you could say that they are born, because each of them has such different experiences that express themselves either more or less relatable/influencing to their audience, and it also decides whether they keep going with art or not.
What a tantalizing sneak peek... it already looks great!
Overcoming perfectionist tendencies is something I've been working on, too. Just being able leave comments like this, typed as fast as I can in a way that expresses my thoughts in the moment, is a therapeutic practice. It looks like you are well on your way, congratulations!
Thank you!! Happy to hear you are also on your way :) I also have to practice the fast commenting, it's a challenge but it's nice to know i'm not alone in this! Keep it up!!
Great story! It is tough to push the ego down sometimes and just do it. That monkey in our mind keeps wanting to compare ourselves to everyone, and when we listen to the hyperactive little dude, it's hard not to get insecure and afraid of even trying. The typical fear of the blank page. Glad to see you've pushed through that!
I look forward to seeing more of your painting and hearing more of your story.
Thank you for the awesome comment :') It's so true.
We build our own walls in this life. Great post!
Yes exactly!! Which is also great because that means it's all in our power to overcome them, all that seems to be needed is a little contemplation. And thank you, i'm glad you enjoyed it!!
I think real artists just express themselves. Be it in music, painting, photography or even science. Art is in everything if you look enough. And I'm glad you found it !
Indeed, i agree! Just paying attention to the details even in everyday life reveals just how much creativity there is around. I know it sounds cheesy but omg earth and its design is just beautiful ๐
And yes! It's what puts me in the moment everytime, and in fact feels incredibly relieving sometimes. I want to do it for all my life :)
Good post! I'm going to follow you to see more post like this and for support us!
Many thanks!!