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I'll field this one.

Why do people leave socks in the forest?

Because when you gotta poop, you gotta poop. Socks become emergency butt wipe.

ohhh shit!

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I'll stop using tree bark, thanks for the tip.

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Yes! No more slivers! You're welcome!

you literally saved my ass

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And you just wrote the funniest thing I've read all day!