Woa what a word, Don't ever give up living in the world. Dear we are human being and we love ourself more than everything in the world, but we are never thinking about our living place, where we are love to living. This the result of our emotion, our emotion is our best enemy. We always try to follow what is our heart in telling us, never use to follow our thinking, so we become so much emotional not rational. But rationality is one thing that will give reward in our present life and also for your ritual life.
Thank you for your sweat description.
There are good wise words you describe here @shadonchandra