As I sit here s l o w l y imbibing a bottle of Metaxa and contemplating your poem, some obvious associations come to mind. Such as Milan Kundera's The Unbearable Lightness of Being. Unfortunately I only saw the movie - which made such a strong impression on me that I always intended to read the book, but somehow have never gotten around to it. And the tension with Nietzsche's concept of eternal recurrence.
"And what I did, I can't undo"
So, we suffer eternally the consequences of our actions in a meaningful world? or do we escape into a world without meaning? Even if somehow given a second chance, a chance to undo, like the character in Ouspensky's disturbing little novel Strange Life of Ivan Osokin, would our lack of self knowledge and the mechanical nature of our decisions doom us to endless repetition of our conundrums?
It may take me a few more bottles of Metaxa to figure this one out :)
I am thinking we may not suffer eternally but we have to accept the consequences. In the beginning its painful but through pain we evolve. Did you know that a bad experience is 2.5 times stronger than a good one? That's how we learn not to touch fire....
Now hold on there just a minute miss @mariandavp. I hate to butt into youse guys's private conversation here - but I like @vault (even though he may not be the brightest bulb on the Christmas tree).
And so I want to remind him of what you said way back here: https://steemit.com/art/@mariandavp/crossing-fires-and-floating-roots-by-mariandavp
"I can’t live without fire, but how can I withstand its burning?"
2.5 times stronger than a good one" (I told you, he's not the brightest bulb on the Christmas tree). He distrusts statistics anyway (perhaps a sign that he progresses just a little in his cogitating ability?).And, I was talking to @vault and he had no idea that a bad experience is "
I want to remind @vault that your theory "that through pain we evolve" may be true up to a point, but beyond that point mechanical evolution no longer suffices and conscious evolution must take over.
Towards the end of his extraordinary life, John Godolphin Bennett (author of The Dramatic Universe) was asked if there was anything he regretted. I don't remember the exact quote, but it was something along the lines of "I regret not having learned earlier in life that one can learn as much through pleasure as through suffering".
"That's how we learn not to touch fire...."
I was always amazed when my first tabla teacher in Delhi would put his hand into the fire to pull out a burning ember, blow on it in his palm to get it good and red hot, and then carefully place it to light his chillum.
This whole subject of pleasure and pain and fire and eternities bears much deeper investigation. I'll try to help @vault out, but he is rather closed minded (what does he think he is protecting inside that "vault" anyway?).
You are right, I don't disagree. But withstanding pain is one level up in our evolution game and relies upon the upper layer of the human brain, where willingness, purpose and humanity are hardwired. Infidelity, fear, uncontrolled desire for other people or thnigs comes from the inner brain neurons, the instinctive and the emotional mind. Acts that hurt beyond reasoning usually satisfy from our instinctive and emotional motives that will touch upon our ego (spiritually) and amygdala (neuroscientifically). The amygdala will produce the hormones of cortizol (stress and fear) and relay the consequence of this specific act in your long term memory stores via the hippocampus. Now, psychoanalysis, meditation, prayers, knowing one-self, even simple binaural beats at 432hz are ways to approach past memories and experiences beyond instinct and emotion and develop such willingness and enhanced perception that you will be able to withstand burning.
For the purposes of the poem, I am not a strong person with enhanced perception. I am not there yet. I am, as you suggest suffering the consequences. Will I do it again. The answer depends on whether I managed to turn this experience into a fruitful quest within myself or not. If not, I will do it again and feel the same way. If not, I may or may not do it again but whatever my act it will be a concious decision. Only then we endure fire...
Yes, I think that we can agree - we are just coming at questions from different directions. I have no knowledge of brain chemistry. Too bad your novel is only available in Greek!
Strange Life of Ivan Osokin
Plot summary
When the protagonist realizes that he can recall having lived his life before, he decides to try to change it. But he discovers that because human choices tend to be mechanical, changing the outcome of one's actions is extremely difficult. He realizes that without help breaking his mechanical behavior, he may be doomed to repeat the same mistakes forever.