Im talking about that romantic attraction -- the kind that stops you in your tracks and lights-off all those fireworks in your head… When you see her (him), it takes your breath away, leaving the most talkative among us, speechless.
There are all kinds of reasons people are attracted to one another… And lately the news is -- we are more attracted to, like minded people… People with similar interests and intelligence. The notion that opposites attract has taken a back seat to actual evolution… That primal instinct to survive.., and procreate with the best possible mate might play more of a roll, than just blind luck.
While the human body, brain and spirit are truly amazing -- I mean, just the fact they we can stand-upright and walk is a freakin' miracle, when you think of all things that have to be working in complete accordance with the other… And while attraction and love at first sight have a birthplace in our subconscious -- we are not sheep.
If as we understand all these elements.., and then, just throw them to the wind and let the universe do it's thing. As long as you are in touch with who are YOU are, it should all work out. It's just how we are wired.., *and have been for thousands of years...
QUICK STORY:
Now, I know this is supposed to be about attraction -- love at first sight… And Im sure we both thought this night was going wind-up with coffee in the morning on my balcony. I mean, I couldn't have been more physically attracted to her.., and in the parking lot, she made reference to how cute she thought I was… But once she walked into my place -- immediately, we couldn't have been less attracted to anyone (like we were enemies from a past life, or something)…
You see just like attraction, when our subconscious takes over and plants the seed that we should be attracted to the person, for some specific reasons we have trapped away in there -- this was our subconscious telling us, in no uncertain terms -- NO, YOU ARE NOT ATTRACTED TO THIS PERSON! No matter how complicated us humans like to make things, we have these mechanisms to guide us on are way, that we are totally unaware of… The subconscious will always try and keep you safe -- that whole survival thing.
So, when you see that person, that knocks your socks off.., it's your subconscious telling you -- Yeah, this is good for you, or maybe the subconscious is relating her to somebody from your past, that was really good for -- a perfect mate, to keep the gene pool up to standards… It's all very primitive, no matter how books they write about it.
Elements Of Attraction
In my case with the girl from the grocery.., we had all the elements of attraction working for us -- Physical Attraction, Psychological Attraction and Behavioral Attraction.., hands down. But then a primal signal got sent to us from our subconscious, that this could be detrimental to our health -- harmful. Usually, most people will ignore this signal and suffer through a whole dinner, some even through years of a bad relationship.
So even with all three elements of attraction on our side...
Physical: we were definitely into the way each of us looked, dressed, both had good hygiene -- even the vette worked.
Psychological: our personalities meshed well at the store -- funny, cheerful, playful.., pleasant. It's this psychological side of things, where you can fall into the "friend zone" and kill any chance of a sexual relationship, if this is what the dominant attraction is…
Behavioral: when people are sexy just by the way they hold themselves, the way they act. A confidence that shines through and over shadows the fact, that they might not be the most classically attractive. But they have a way about them...
But then there are those evolutionary traits that we just can't do anything about -- they are part of our nature. Built up over time, like a giant oak tree that grows towards the sun. Like I said earlier.., it's all pretty simple if we just get out of our own way… And even though, love at first sight, might be our subconscious tricking us into thinking this is the one, with faded memories of old love or admiration -- it will in the end sort things out.
After all, we are in control (although I will admit when in the throes of love it may not seem that way) with who we are attracted too… Just because your subconscious leads to a certain someone for reasons you are not aware of -- you might detest their personality, or when you get a little closer they could have horrible body odor -- stink. Or they might act like a complete ass… Once we add these less desirable traits the attraction we thought was one for the ages -- is over before it even started.
Im all for science.., and explanations of things… And all the information they have been able to deduce from the way our brain behaves to our need for survival and all that -- but in the end, it's your ass out there, your heart that can be broken… So yes, listen to your gut, follow your instincts, just know that's what's going on with those fireworks going off in your head. And a piece of personal advice -- never be afraid to fall and fall hard. Cause in the end, those same instincts could lead to the love of your life… We've all heard it before -- "It is better to thane alive and lost..."
As for me though… I still believe there is an element most studies leave out -- magic. Try and describe it, label it.., give it some grand scientific explanation -- there is something mysterious about attraction and especially love at first sight. Something you can't quite put your finger on.., and probably shouldn't, either… For what is true love without a little mystery.., a trust in the unknown, that put the two of you together in one place, for the sheer purpose of meeting.., and falling in love…
Image Source: 1 2
Although this wasn't necessarily a breakthrough in knowledge for me, I still enjoyed reading! I thought your story at the grocery store was funny, and I can picture myself being the cashier in that situation haha. Like I said, this is nothing new to me, but that's because this is something I have learned through my own journey as well, so made for a nice read. :)
Thanks @smarch -- It was really funny. Cheers!
Attraction is definitely a mysterious thing! I totally agree that when it comes to this subject, science is behind the curve of experience. It almost never has anything interesting or useful to say on the subject. Magic IS essential, yes and the secret ingredients are so our of our control it seems. Fun post, thanks @macksby!!
Thanks @natureofbeing -- Gotta have some magic!
Good read. Yes, the attraction factor had me in trouble many times.... but there is a mile in between being in love and being physically attracted. That last one is A LOT more dangerous! LOL!
I completely agree... That physical attraction can be trouble, at times -- but that love thing can turn your whole world upside down... :)) Thanks for the comment @giantbear
Resteemed.
Appreciate it -- Cheers!